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QUOTE 61 - 13 Comments
From: Jackzilla Entered on: March 27, 2003 10:26 AM
John wants to know if this has anything to do with chickens.
From: Ross Entered on: March 27, 2003 11:11 AM
Yes. With choking them, in fact. That was pretty much the allure of going free range.
From: John Entered on: May 25, 2003 8:04 PM
The Bone just informed me that his wife confronted him about his porn habit. To date the Bone has enjoyed a reasonable amount of "free range" but now it looks like his wife wants to infringe on this sacred time honored tradition. Could this spell the end of "free range" for the Bone, one can only hope not.     This brings up another person in our group whereby "free range" could become endangered. Bert will be moving in with H-Bomb in the near future. Free range could be in short supply for our good buddy.     For me "free range" is nonexistent due to the fact I'm never alone. I try to shake one out late at night when everyone is asleep. The threat of someone waking up is ever present. Occasionally I rub one out in the day when my daughter is napping or watching a movie in the bedroom. This is also a risky venture.     Why bring all this up you ask. Simple, you are all going to end up in the same boat I'm in eventually. It's my duty as a friend to prepare you mentally for whats ahead. Maybe it will give you some moral support when "free range" comes to an end and thus know your friend has been there too. I will remain a sympathetic ear to my friends when "free range" is in short supply.
From: Ross Entered on: May 25, 2003 11:20 PM
This is disturbing news indeed. I showed this thread of conversation to Heather. She is well aware that my free range will be reduced in the future, and she even admits that it may pose a problem for her as well. When asked if she would ever try to curb any porn habit that may or may not exist, she replied "I know that's not going to happen." So it appears that my current situation is as optimistic as I could hope for.
From: John Entered on: June 23, 2003 2:02 PM
I love that it may not exist. You will have to keep us apprised of your situation once you move in together as this will be the true test of your free range.
From: Ross Entered on: December 4, 2003 3:55 PM
Lately, I have been contemplating independent consulting as the next stage of my career. The more lucrative options will force me to form my own company in order to get more enticing tax incentives. So I was thinking about company names the other day, trying to come up with some. Thinking of a name for your company that has either never been thought of, or at least being fairly obscure is really very hard. So I went to the Encyclopedia of Jackassery for help: a couple of ideas came to me, one of which was based on the above quote: FREE RANGE TECHNOLOGIES This one falls into the category of a company name that has meaning, or is at least open to interpretation. You could make up tons of your own ideas on what "free range technology" might entail. The beauty part is that only insiders would know that the company was actually named after the ability to perform unfettered masturbation. The other idea I got was to go the opposite direction, like companies like Yahoo or FogDog, and use a made-up nonsense word. The best one I could find in our archives is "Frasheer" or "Freer Sheer", so I'm thinking something like this: FRASHEERLESS, INC. When someone asks me what "frasheerless" means, I can use the sweet line "It means without frasheer". Of course, that sounds more gimmicky and not quite as sweet as Free Range. What do you guys think? Any other ideas?
From: The Bone Entered on: December 4, 2003 4:15 PM
Hard to say Bert. On one hand, Free Range Technologies is a legit title. To the laymen, it would conjure the image that anything is possible with your company. If it took off, I would go to your office and spank one in the bathroom stall.     On the other hand, nothing is funnier in my mind than the story where you publicly ridiculed Roche by way of the Frasheerless explanation. I think the title would work well too.     By the way, try this line on Heather:   Hey Honey, lets go back to the bedroom, I'm ready for some "stank on my hangdown."
From: Ross Entered on: December 4, 2003 5:06 PM
I actually HAVE used a variation on that line Bone, though I used "hang-low" instead of "hangdown".
From: BigFatty Entered on: December 4, 2003 5:43 PM
Na - stank on my pickle is better.     As far as names go..... Free Range Tech. is actually pretty sweet. It depends on what type of image you want to project. Yahoo and FogDog were trendy, cutting-edge internet start-ups, where being cool was part of the image. As a consultant, you may not want this type of image - the 'I'm hot, now'.     Frasheerless is funny, but - and this might seem strange, it is too long a word. Especially for being a word that no one knows. I think it will be intimidating for most, and they will tend to avoid it because they don't have a clue to what it is.     I'm thinking you want to project a stable, smart image, possibly sounding like a larger company than a one-man show. Free Range Technology Group for example. Or use a term that is used in the industry (which I have no clue of) - Singularity Software Architecture and Technology Consulting Group maybe.     This is just of the top of my head. You are right to put some thought into the name. It is a customer?s first interface with the company. The name carries the first impression. You will want it to sound impressive and smart.
From: Swerb Entered on: December 4, 2003 5:59 PM
Man, as tempting as Frasheerless, Inc. is (it's hilarious!), I have to agree with Bone and Fatty on this subject. But don't automatically shoot down Punch the Clown Industries...
From: Ross Entered on: December 4, 2003 10:33 PM
Fatty - aren't pickles already inherently stanky?     Swerb - yeah, I think Fatty has a point in that the name is too long/unwieldy/hard to spell based on hearing it. But it makes for a good story. I actually am seriously considering registering Free Range Technologies, though.
From: Ross Entered on: February 21, 2007 2:56 PM
Dammit!  I've been usurped! http://www.freerange.com/
From: BigFatty Entered on: February 21, 2007 4:22 PM
And you should have known better, Mr. Computer Scientist Been on the Net for years and soon will be a top consultant in the industry.  That name is perfect for their company.     And all you could have done was put the old (TM) afterwards to scare them off.  You should email them and see if JA was their inspiration.  I doubt it, but shit, you never know.  Now THAT would make a story!