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Entered on: May 19, 2004 12:00 AM by BigFatty
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And for burger lovers...... Burger Porn!!!!! Look at this hot little number (the burger, not Nate). We started a short-lived tradition, burger night. It was replaced by XBOX night. We combined all our burger-making knowledge to create these masterpieces. It was truely an international effort. My culinary, burger skills gleaned from Mr. Fables, plus my abundance of burger knowledge from many trips to burger joints were joined with European techniques. The result??? Pure heaven my friends. These are big burgers with big flavor - Texas style! I would tell you all the ingredients, but I don't want some Jerk-weed stealing the idea and making millions. Yes some did have tomatoes - that vile fruit. I'm sorry if this pic cause some of you to soil yourselves (Swerb, Roche). After I had some of this greasy goodness, I certainly did!
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FATTY_PHOTO 21 - 9 Comments
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Culinary heathens! Don't you know you're in France?! No burgers for you! Can you imagine if the French authorities knew of the corruption Fatty has brought to their little school? You should try to smuggle in some Root Beer next!
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Well, the top half looks tasty, at least. Not sure about the eggs and squash on the bottom, though. But Roche would probably eat it.
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I'm sure you did your best with what you had to work with. I'm not to sure what kind of bun that is. The hamburger buns I know are rounded at the edge. It almost looks as though he's holding it upside-down. Everybody knows that the burger goes on the bottom and what's up with the cheese underneath the patty? Aside from the logistical problems, it looks like a tasty burger.
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This burger is silly! Is that green pepper? Ok, I might be able to live with that but what the fuck is that thick orange piece of shit at the bottom? Squash? Get it out! The whole thing is stacked wrong anyway. As Creeko said, the burger goes at the bottom. Nate may be a good guy but he needs some remedial training in burger fabrication. I've got a great idea, get that weid shit out and replace with bacon.
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Yes, his burger fabrication process is definitely fornicated. I suspect that it is due in part to Fatty, as he has an advanced degree in fornicating a wide array of processes. I will not re-iterate the improper burger layering comments, though I thought that shit would be figured out after Burger Composition 101. Also this is most likely a stupid question but I sure as hell hope that's not American cheese - it's an embarassment to our country. Since you're in France I'm sure that there are many better alternatives. Though I bet you can't find any Sweet Baby Ray's over in them parts.
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Process fornication is an apt description of that upside down burger. Would I eat it, of course. There is nothing on that burger that would be beyond my ability to eat.
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You BASTARDS! You can make fun of the way I talk, the way I dress...Hell, you can even make fun of my own mom. But NEVER diss a man's grill skill! While hanging out with Fatty has definitely fornicated my process, I stand by my abilities to make a damn tasty burger. FYI that's no squash. No, my friends. That is some of France's finest orange bell pepper, a new "accessory" that was added at the insistence of our Norwegian friend. Now I think I'll stay out of the debate about whether American or European food is better. All I can say is that it's a beautiful thing when you can combine the best of both worlds. As to the construction of the burger, I stick by my methods. This was the second of such burgers that I ate. The first was constructed in the traditional "burger on the bottom/everything else on top". The burger was so juicy that it destroyed the cheap French excuse for a hamburger bun and I ended up eating it with a fork. This beauty came about after much methodical deliberation and I must say it worked like a charm. So screw you guys! Don't judge me until you've been in my shoes! Oh yeah, and that is American cheese. France has some tasty cheese, but nothing goes with a burger like a oil and water composite with artificial flavoring and coloring added. American cheese is GOOD!
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Nate, I'm glad you got on to defend yourself. I expected Fatty to do it for you, but that's kind of like having Inspector Gadget on your case.
First off, none of us ever dissed your grill skill. In fact, I think we all agreed that the burger portion looked quite tasty.
The bun, of course, like you said, looks absurd in the extreme.
The orange pepper I will suspend judgement on until I try it for myself - my guess is that it could be okay, though it does look a bit odd.
Now that you explain it, I can understand why the burger isn't on the bottom - it makes sense. But how about a slice of lettuce to serve as a juice-guard? That would be a bit more aesthetically pleasing, in my view.
As for the American cheese, I'm afraid I have to shit on that. I can't even believe that it's available in France. Some nice cheddar or colby or swiss would easily be better - I don't even think most countries consider American cheese to be "cheese". Anyway, good to hear from you, Nate.
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Any way you stack it, it still tastes GOOOOOOD. All you armchair-quarterback motherfuckers can step-off. Who the fuck are you talking too? I AM the BURGER KING! They named a restaurant after me. Nigga please, one taste of this International Sensation would have you jizzin your pants.
It is not the BEST burger of all time. Ross, you would be right on with the lettuce suggestion. Didn't have any. It was also lacking Sweet Baby Rays and crisp American bacon.
I am happy to add that this burger was made without squash or eggs.
Nate and I are in a foriegn land, struggling for survival. To make a burger of this magnitude is like Robinson Crusoe making the space shuttle on his deserted island.
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