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Entered on: February 26, 2004 12:00 AM by BigFatty
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Just got back from Paris. Did the tourist stuff ? Norte Dame, Eiffel Tower, Versailles. Went with Nathan and his buddy Heath from GR. We had a pretty good time. Our hotel was cheap ($60/night ? 3 beds), but nice, including our own shitter. It was just down the street from the Moulin Rouge and the Red Light district. We walked down the strip one night. It was just a bunch of overpriced strip clubs with girls trying to get you to buy an overpriced glass of champagne (remember Costa Rica). It was definitely no Vu!
The highlight of the trip was a little fondue restaurant Nate found in a guide book. Refugee des Fondue was very small place and packed! It had two long tables and you sat family style. To get to the other side of the table, you had to walk over the top of the table. The owners made the girls do this, cuz they helped them over of course! Very nice when the girls wore dresses! For only $15 bucks you got a cocktail, appetizer, cheese or meat fondue, and a baby bottle of wine. A baby bottle meaning with the nipple and all. It was a very fun place and everyone there was getting toasty with all the wine. The best part was when this little troll of a woman came in. She was maybe 2 feet tall, had the thickest glasses you ever saw, hair on her face, and she was probably slightly retarded. She sold packs of cigarettes from a little box she carried. She was something to behold. But, man, when she spoke she had a voice like the wicked witch of the west ? like a screech from a seagull. Her name was Janette. She seemed to be in a good mood. She asked Heath if he wanted some cigarettes. He doesn?t speak French. This amused Janette. Heath was sitting down and with her standing next to him, they were face to face. She let out this huge, raspy cackle. This floored us. Heath was ? fuck this I got to get a picture! Janette took a liking to Heath and proudly posed for a photo with him. The best part was when Janette left. She walked by Heath and went to give a him kiss. Heath was totally unprepared for this and was squirming to get away. He got a wet, sloppy, hairy kiss on the forehead. I did chastise Heath for trying to deny Janette. Come on, ugly girls need love too!
The best part of Paris was the eating. I have been cheap on the food in Grenoble because I?m on a tight budget. But in Paris I let myself live a bit. This restaurant, called the Hippotamus, served me the best plate of ribs ever! There was so much meat on the bones I thought they brought me a fat-ass steak. You could not even see the bones, they were so tiny. The meat was superb! High quality with little fat. Even the sauce was good. In France the restaurants sometimes offer a formula ? pretty much a combo. This is the only way to get food. For only $22 bucks I got 4 Thai chicken satays, ribs with fries, a carafe of wine, cheesecake, and coffee. If you ordered these separate you would easily pay $40. Shit negro, that?s all you had to say! I was eating Big Fatty style that night!
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FATTY_PHOTO 10 - 9 Comments
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Sounds like a good time, Fatty. Let's see the pic of the cigarette dwarf, though.
And how did the rib sauce compare to Sweet Baby Ray's? Did somebody say BBQ sauce?
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Any restaurant called The Hippopotamus has to kick ass. Are you sure those ribs you ate weren't hippo ribs? I would hate to eat all that and then have to shit in a hole...
By the way, Fatty, I have a friend who spent some time in France going to art school, and he said that the food (and beer!) in Europe tastes exponentially better than here in the States because there are tighter quality-control laws over there, and less food additives and such. Do you think that's true, Your Fataciousness?
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I've been all over Europe and it's true. Every single country I've been to, the food is exponetially better than in the US. Even a cheapo restaurant usually has better tasting food than a high end restaurant over here. It's seems that even McDonald's in Europe tastes better than McDonald's over here for some reason. Fatty, Creeko - any comments?
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Why do you think I moved over here? I'd have to make an effort if I wan't to eat american quality food. I eat better than all ya'll on a daily basis and have the gut to proove it.
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The only country in Europe I've spent any real time in is Holland, and this must be an exception to the rule. Dutch food sucks. What food is Dutch, might you ask? Good question. They don't really have many of their own (well-known) dishes. It's kind of like British cooking, though: lots of things are boiled, so most of the time you're eating food from other countries. Even so, I struggled to get a decent meal over there.
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Yes the food over here is of a higher caliber. They shy away from the additives and growth hormones. There is also a bit of pride in workmanship. Your el cheapo sandwich is still carefully prepared, the McD Big Mac comes perfectly assembled every time, your pastries get wrapped up with a bow. My shits are a testament to this higher quality. They are more solid than they have ever been, plus I'm only shitting 1-2 times a day now. Hardly any more 'urgent' situations.
That reminds me of my after cheese fondue shit. Having a history of lactose intoleranance, I was a little worried. The next morning I fought a battle, the likes of which I haven't seen in years. This big turd did not want to come out. It was ready to, but the brown dog would not fit out the back door. I probably spent 10 minutes on that sucker. But I perservered and emerged victorious, slightly sore, and satisfied!
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I can't remember the food in Amsterdam very much since I was mostly high the whole time. I think we ate a lot of cucumber and cream cheese sandwiches which were tasty as hell. Also, the orangenshaft (fresh squeezed orange juice) was really good too. Creeko, did we ever sit down to a good meal? I don't recall.
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Bone - I think we splurged once in Paris but on a poor man's budget splurge meant table service instead of fast food. I also remember sitting down on a sidewalk cafe and ordering nothing but a bottle of wine and getting a strange look from the garçon. Your Uncle/Grandpair took us to some fancy digs and I'll never forget the o-so-good tongue pudding your Aunt was so kind to prepare for us on various occasions.
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