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Entered on: December 4, 2003 12:00 AM by Ross

I thought I'd break the monotony and add a picture of our first Christmas Tree. Merry Christmas, Motherfuckers!

PHOTO 84 - 19 Comments
From: Ross Entered on: December 4, 2003 5:38 PM
Oh, my mistake, this is a screenshot of Big Cock on the delivering end of my shotgun during a Halo match.
From: Swerb Entered on: December 4, 2003 6:01 PM
Now, you need to get a calendar to mark the days until... the cats knock the tree over. This could be a new betting pool...
From: Ross Entered on: December 4, 2003 10:29 PM
So far so good. They seem to keep relatively clear of it. Besides, unless they managed to CLIMB the tree (highly unlikely given the numerous prickly branches), that thing is too stable to be easily knocked over.
From: BigFatty Entered on: December 4, 2003 11:58 PM
Famous last words. Nothing a little cat-nip couldn't remedy. I do hope there will be a Ross' Christmas Vacation story involving a squirrel, his cats, and the tree.     I think the appropriate Holiday Greeting is HAPPY BIRTHDAY JESUS YOU MOTHERFUCKER!!!!!!!!!!     Which is exactly the case, he fucked his own mother! If you look and the holy triad business, Mary became preggers from immaculate conception - by the hand of god or the holy spirit, it doesn't matter. They are all one and the same. And so is Jesus. SO this holiday celebrates the incestuous birth caused by the rape from her yet to be born son.     Makes perfect sense to me. Feliz Navidad!
From: Swerb Entered on: December 5, 2003 12:27 AM
Fatty, your take on the birth of Christ makes just as much sense as the rest of the idiotic Christian religion. Amen, brutha!
From: The Bone Entered on: December 5, 2003 9:02 AM
Did you know that the bible mentions nothing of Christ being born on Dec 25th. In fact, most scholars will tell you that the bible coupled with historical documents suggets the March timeframe. Dec 25th was a pagan holiday "Sol Invictus" - incincible sun, the winter solstice. The Roman catholic church decided this would be a good day to celebrate Christ's birth and get the added bonus of cancelling out a pagan holiday. The evergreen tree which Bert so proudly displays is a hold over from this. I wonder how many Christians have any idea?
From: Ross Entered on: December 5, 2003 10:33 AM
I have heard about Christ's birth not being Dec 25 for many years. Of course that still doesn't answer the question of what the average Christian knows.     Interestingly, I got a Christian propoganda booklet yesterday in the mail. There was no return address, I wonder who it was from and how they knew I wanted it? Anyway, it's called something like "Sunday Law" or something - though I'm at a loss to tell you what the overall theme of the book is. I read some of it, and there were a couple chapters about "The Beast" and the mark of the beast - 666 - Swerb, remember this from Cochrane's class? There are also all kinds of mentionings of Biblical prophecies being fulfilled with the most haphazard and selective logic I've seen in a long time. The style of writing is pretty funny - every "revelation" the guy tells you is "shocking!" or "incredible!" Oh, I forgot, he basically "proves" that the beast is the Pope. So this is clearly not Catholic propoganda. There is also an appendix on why Sunday is not the Sabbath and that Saturday really is - something I'd heard before - isn't this what Jews believe? There's also some shit in there about how Catholics removed the second original Commandment which said "Thou shalt not have any false gods before me" or idol worship or somesuch - I think as a dig on how much the Catholics seem to worship the Virgin Mary. Anyway, it is a very entertaining read. If I had more info on me I'd do a web search and see if I could find references online for you guys. Maybe If you're lucky, you too will be priveledged enough to hear the word.
From: Ross Entered on: December 5, 2003 10:38 AM
I spoke too soon. Here is the entire thing online. Maybe you guys can make more sense of it than me:     http://www.biblerevelations.org/sundaylaw/     Okay, I read the first "chapter" more closely. It appears that the point of the book is to say that the country is going down the shitter, and it's because we're secular, humanist, godless bastards. The answer? To declare a national observance of Sunday - in effect, government mandated religion. (Unification of church and state) This the only way our country can pull out of the current quagmire.
From: The Bone Entered on: December 5, 2003 4:47 PM
Someone needs to fix Johnny Bells' computer so he can make contributions.
From: Ross Entered on: December 5, 2003 7:42 PM
It's fixed. Fatty hooked him up with a firewall and shit the other day. I called him today in fact and encouraged his participation, and he seemed kosher with the plan. But pornography must have gotten the better of him.
From: Swerb Entered on: December 6, 2003 10:45 AM
Yeah, Ross, I remember Cochrane's bullshittery about the mark of the beast and such - but the music I listen to is littered with such numerology and iconography. One of Iron Maiden's biggest hits is "The Number of the Beast"! Shocking! Such filth infiltrating our popular culture!     You know, most of my resistance to Christmas traditions (decorations, etc. ... Bert, you and I discussed this recently) really stems from its Christian "origins," which bothers me more than the commercial aspects of the holiday. Privately, I consider the sacrificing of a pig for my devourment of the Christmas ham to be very, very pagan, as well as the ritual sacrifice of many potatoes for potato salad...
From: Ross Entered on: December 6, 2003 11:51 AM
Don't feel bad, Swerb - most of that Xmas shit isn't Christian in origin anyway. Bone, I think you alluded to this. What is the history of the Christmas tree?
From: The Bone Entered on: December 6, 2003 6:37 PM
Swerb - feel free enjoy all the Christmas traditions thoroughly since they are all pagan in nature (except Christmas plays with Jesus in the Manger).     Throughout the Roman Empire, dudes used to worship the sun - God Mithra. They called him Deus Sol Invictus Mithra, meaning Invincible Sun God Mithra. Now they also believed and worshipped a bunch of other Gods and one of them was Saturn so they kind of morphed the Mithra idea into Saturn. So during winter, the days were shorter until Dec 25, the winter solstice, when they started getting longer. So the week prior, they would have festive celibrations honoring Saturn and culminate with the Sol Invictus on Dec 25th. The festivities were marked by gift-giving, eating, drinking and debauchery. Priests of Saturn would carry wreaths of Evergreen boughs around the temples. Pagans of all cultures regard the evergreen tree as mystical because it stays green and fresh all year long.     So feel free to put up a pagan Christmas tree and wreath. Bust out the eggnog, get drunk, have sex, and give me presents - all in the spirit of true Chistmas.
From: The Bone Entered on: December 6, 2003 12:21 PM
By the way, Easter has pagan origins as well. As do most Christian celebrations. Main reason is the widespread influence of the Roman Empire. It would absorb the pagan customs of the barbarians it would concur and they would mesh into early Christian practices.
From: John Entered on: December 6, 2003 2:28 PM
Very interesting, Bone. Now I don't have to feel bad about liking Christmas. I love the idea of getting drunk, fornicating and giving and recieving presents. Of course I'm married, so I guess it's not fornicating for me, but I can get my groove on. I also only drink on special occassions (when my wife isn't present) and trust me, Christmas is the last day that I would drink on. So I guess getting drunk is out of the question. That leaves getting presents which if all goes well I hope to get a hard drive for my XBOX. That would be sweet!
From: John Entered on: December 7, 2003 12:42 AM
Bert, your tree looks really good, nice and full. I like the look and the smell of a real tree, I just don't like all the needle mess they tend to make.
From: Ross Entered on: December 7, 2003 11:41 AM
By the way, not that anyone cares, but I finally figured out what that Sunday Law claptrap is all about. It's from a group of Christian crazies that call themselves the Adventists. Started back in the 1800s with some guy who was doing his own piss-poor interpretation of the book of Revelation, trying to predict the second coming of Christ. Using a bunch of numerology and huge leaps of questionable logic, he predicts it will happen around 1850 or so. Of course all these guys always say it will happen in their lifetimes, and it didn't happen, but that didn't cause these guys to disband or anything. They're constantly re-interpreting things and finding loose parallels that can lend credence to their doomsday scenarios. So they hate the Catholics, who are one of the four apparent Beasts. But of all the questionable practices of the Catholics (in the eyes of Protestants), they choose the "Sunday worship" as the most egregious. Apparently Saturday is the real Sabbath. So they are freaking out that some religious nutjobs in the US want a national law setting aside the day of Sunday as a day of worship. To them, this is definitive proof that the world is coming to an end. Now it's certainly not my favorite idea either, but of all the crazy shit that religious people come up with, trying to unite church and state - this is the worst threat? So the moral is, if you ever meet someone who calls themself an Adventist, you know you're dealing with someone who has exactly zero capacity for rational thought.
From: The Bone Entered on: December 7, 2003 1:19 PM
Are these Adventists the same as 7th Day Adventists? I know they are all about Saturday as the Sabbath.
From: Ross Entered on: December 7, 2003 9:54 PM
That's them, man. In their world, this "Sunday worship" is about the most horrific of all religious faux pas. I find their writings and history to be quite entertaining.