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Entered on: April 21, 2003 12:00 AM by Creeko

Imagine how sweet this guy felt. As if mere fact of shitting youself wasn't bad enough, shitting yourself with an audinece while bungie jumping is far wose.

PHOTO 28 - 10 Comments
From: Ross Entered on: April 21, 2003 8:28 AM
And it's all over the back of his shirt, too. That's gonna be one uncomfortable ride home...
From: BigFatty Entered on: April 21, 2003 12:14 PM
That's quite a load of shit. I wonder when he regretted the second burrito.
From: The Bone Entered on: April 22, 2003 10:53 AM
Very similar to the time I ate a whole box of Fiber 1 and 4 dove bars in one day.
From: Ross Entered on: April 22, 2003 11:01 AM
HAHAHAHAHAHA!!! I heard about the box of Fiber One, but not the Dove bars. And wasn't there a story involving an entire bag of cherries?     That reminds me of these pills that Swerb sometimes takes - some kind of Fiber overdose to clean you out. They don't have too much of an effect on me but usually people have to be near a bathroom at all times when they start taking them.
From: The Bone Entered on: April 22, 2003 7:33 PM
The Cherry Story goes a little something like this:     I was driving home from the grocery store and I had my bags of groceries in the back seat. I was hungry and I was about 20 minutes from home so I decided to have some cherries which I had just purchased. Given my lack of moderation, I ended up eating the whole bag, probably close to 2 lbs. Next thing you know, traffic had come to a standstill and I started to feel the intestinal rumble. In an instant I jumped from Defcon 5 to Defcon 2. I was very scared. There were no exits to get off and I was absolutely stuck in traffic with no escape. I thought for sure I'd be shitting in the car that day. I really didn't want to shit on my nice car seats so I tried to figure a way out of it. I emptied a plastic shopping bag and tried to manuever my pants off so I could dump in the bag while driving and remaining undetected by the cars in proximity to me. I must have looked pretty funny. Finally I gave up and simply lined the seat with the bag and resigned myself to shitting my pants. At that point, traffic started to clear so I used the a combination of Jedi mind ticks and Boot trickery to stave off the impending boot. It woked and I managed to get to a crapper just in time.
From: BigFatty Entered on: April 22, 2003 10:46 PM
The Oreo legend seems appropriate here. Legend has it that I once ate a single Oreo cookie and ended up having diarreha for 3 days. This was linked to me being lactose intolerant. Well the legend is somewhat true. I did eat one Oreo and I did have diarreha for 3 days afterwards. I do not think the sole Oreo was the culprit for all the juice. I think it was a combination of my lactose intolerance, Oreo, malabsorption of fat, Crohn's disease, and a crappy diet - or as some recall "The Perfect Storm"     If you asked me if the Oreo was worth 3 days worth of the juicy loosies - not really.
From: Ross Entered on: April 23, 2003 6:41 AM
For reference purposes, the Oreo Cookie Legend was originally brought up here:     http://www.jackassery.com/viewcomments.jsp?id=64&ty pe=quote     (got to put my search engine to use)
From: Swerb Entered on: April 23, 2003 9:50 AM
Yeah, those pills are called Ultra Cleanse, although it's not the brand with the picture of a large intestine on it. I do not joke. I sometimes have difficulty with regularity, and the Ultra Cleanse usually puts me back on track. Although a couple of big spinach salads does the same... let's just say that if I ate a whole box of Fiber 1, I would look like the weight lifter guy who blew his colon out of his ass.
From: John Entered on: April 24, 2003 10:17 PM
I suppose being a pant shitting expert, I should comment on the absurd situation above. It leaves me nearly speechless. To shit your pants to this degree with an audience raises the level of embarrassment immeasurably. The only solution, "change your identity and move to a remote part of the country". This quote is provided by the Bone after a near miss in which his inlaws returned unexpectedly moments after he finished shaking one out. Had he been caught, this was the drastic measure he would have implemented. Possibly, this is the only avenue afforded to this poor fuckbunny who shit himself in such a heinous fashion.
From: Swerb Entered on: April 26, 2003 11:55 PM
You know, The Bone's stuck-in-traffic story mirrors a similar situation I once dealt with... it's not shit, but piss, so sorry if this is the incorrect forum for it...     A few years ago, my friend Diaz and I drove to downtown Detroit to see a concert. As was customary for a car trip, we stopped and got some greasy junk food, and I, of course, got a jumbo-size pop. I hammered it down with a distinct lack of foresight. We're about a quarter-mile outside downtown, and we hit a traffic jam; the main drag is shut down for a parade or some such bullshit. And I have to piss like a racehorse. Traffic is barely budging. I eyeball my empty Burger King cup, but I'm self-conscious about pissing in Diaz's new car (turns out it was a lease, but still, I didn't want him to smell piss for two years in case of a mishap). So I just hold it. We finally get into downtown, and the street we're supposed to take is closed, so we're randomly driving down the back streets of downtown Detroit - and we can't even find a fucking Amoco to stop at, at least one where I won't be accosted by a gun-wielding maniac (cuz we were in the 'hood, bro). By some miracle, we take a turn, and viola! There's the concert venue. Relief would come soon - until I notice the line to get in is completely around the block. We park across the street, and the nearest dark corner by a building, I unleash a torrent of piss worthy of Secretariat or Stampy the Elephant from The Simpsons. We walk away, and I realize that the building I just pissed on is a church. Good thing I'm not a Christian, I guess....