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Entered on: December 9, 2004 12:00 AM by Creeko

The "Monster Thickburger" ? two 1/3-pound slabs of Angus beef, four strips of bacon, three slices of cheese and mayonnaise on a buttered sesame seed bun with 1,420 calories and 107 grams of fat.

PHOTO 156 - 63 Comments
From: Creeko Entered on: December 9, 2004 9:19 AM
Available at your local Hardee's.     No wonder Amercans are fat (myself included), I would eat one of these just for the braggin' rights!
From: Ross Entered on: December 9, 2004 9:32 AM
Looking at the top half of the burger, it looks like a fat man with his mouth barely open and his tongue hanging out the side of his mouth. Appetizing.
From: Jackzilla Entered on: December 9, 2004 9:51 AM
Somewhere there's a Fatty getting REAL homesick...
From: BigFatty Entered on: December 9, 2004 11:00 AM
Now thats getting to look like a Fatty Burger! I am going to have to try that one. Swerb! Get on this! I want a full report. Wait, do they even have Hardee's in GR anymore?? I will delay my flight home until I get this key bit of info.     Its true, If I want a good burger, I have to make it myself. Here in France it is a lot of work, but the burgers turn out great. They have great beef. In Hungary, well, I am still looking for good beef. I got a lead on a guy that does the hamburgers for McDs. I will look him up for some prime burgers!     I do miss the days of just popping in to Wendy's and grabbing a #1 combo with cheese minus tomato. Those make for a great snack.     ....... and I will wait for it...........
From: Ross Entered on: December 19, 2004 12:12 PM
Had to add the Zone Newsletter's thoughts on the Hardee's burger (they devoted an entire column to it):     This one burger, without even adding the fries and soda, contains almost an entire day?s caloric intake for anyone who doesn?t happen to be a teenaged boy. The Center for Science in the Public Interest, an advocate for nutrition and health, has rightly called the Hardee's line of Thickburgers "food porn."
From: The Bone Entered on: December 19, 2004 12:48 PM
You still on the Zone style Johnson? Man I'm a big 215lbs right now. I workout like a champ but I eat way too much. I really want to get down to 200lbs. Christmas is going to fornicate the whole process. I think I may have to try not to gain weight during Christmas and New Years and devote 2005 to getting sweet. No Hardee's for me.
From: Ross Entered on: December 19, 2004 1:26 PM
No, but I'm still getting the newsletters. I have desperately needed to get on the wagon, but it's been difficult. Three weeks ago, I had a goal to go from a flabby 173 to a less-flabby 166 so I could survive the holidays. I was on track with the eating and workouts but then blew the whole thing to hell. Now I'm not sure what's going to happen. Either way, in January, Heather and I are embarking on a Nazi-like program inspired by the Zone so that we can get in supreme shape for our wedding in July. So I guess if I'm ever going to have some Hardee's, it will be this month.
From: The Bone Entered on: December 19, 2004 1:38 PM
What is this Nazi-like plan? Is it your own concoction? It should be a little easier to follow since you have the wedding as motivation
From: Swerb Entered on: December 20, 2004 8:46 AM
Well, Fatty, that Thickburger is amateur stuff. I found a place out in Rockford called Munchey's Cafe that serves 1 1/2 lb. burgers. Yes, that's one-and-a-half pounds of meat. No shit. They have a 1/2 pounder, a 1 pounder and then the monster, which costs 10 bucks. I ate one of the 1/2 pounders with onion rings, and was pretty full. I might be able to take on the 1 pounder on a "good" day, but that huge one? I'm just not man enough. It makes the burger place we went to in Eastown look like child's play.
From: Ross Entered on: December 20, 2004 11:02 AM
My plan is Nazi-like mostly by virtue of its planned style of execution, not the aspects of the plan itself. I've done Zone-like dieting in the past and I like to think I've tweaked it optimally for myself.     As for those burgers, they're just the kind of thing I'd as soon not test my manhood against.
From: BigFatty Entered on: December 20, 2004 4:52 PM
I think I could test my fatness on a 1 pounder, but I am afraid the 1 1/2 pounder is out of my league as well. Well, I might me able to eat one, but I don't want to try.
From: The Bone Entered on: December 20, 2004 4:58 PM
Johnny "one of everything on the menu and a large Mountain Dew" Roche could definately take out the 1.5 pounder. Hell, he even have room for fries and a large Mountain Dew.
From: Swerb Entered on: December 20, 2004 11:01 PM
I'm smelling an outing the next time the JA crew is in G.R. - the Johnny-eats-a-giant-burger spectacle. I'm all for it!
From: Jackzilla Entered on: December 20, 2004 11:16 PM
I am witness to the Johnny-Eats-(whatever) spectacle on almost a weekly basis, but I'd be game. Johnny's powers are great, that much is for certain.     Speaking of a G.R. outing: Bert, are you coming to GR this week for the holidays? For how long? Shall we schedule a gaming?
From: Ross Entered on: December 21, 2004 10:23 AM
We should - I'll be there on the 26, 27, and at least part of the 28th. I also think I might have a couple boxes for you, need to double-check.
From: Jackzilla Entered on: December 21, 2004 10:42 AM
Ooooh... I was thinking of taking Monday the 27th off from work and having a play day. What says you to that? Swerb, you in? I wonder if Johnny Bells works (ok, I think I know the answer).     Regarding boxes: SWEET! I'm all supplied up! I see Salesman of the Year potential, Bert...
From: Swerb Entered on: December 21, 2004 11:50 AM
Count me in on the 27th - I'm off work all next week. Woo hoo!     By the way, Jack, can you refer me to a good website for video game info.? One of my menial tasks involves listing new-release dates in the paper, and I'm having trouble finding a good source.
From: Jackzilla Entered on: December 21, 2004 2:01 PM
The 27th is shaping up! Come on, Bert, get the OK from mommy!     Regarding video game sites, Smerb, I generally use two:     http://www.ign.com/     http://www.gamespot.com/     Hey, Snerg, are you getting a hardrive for Christmas? It's time to slap some BEEF into that XBOX of yours! Free install!
From: The Bone Entered on: January 7, 2005 9:17 PM
Bert, have you embarked on your Nazi-like fitness plan yet? My goal for the Holidays was to not gain any weight. Accomplished. Now I've written my target weight for each week in my calender. I need to be dropping 2 lbs per week. I've been eating well. Every time I eat something I think about my goal weight for the week and if this food item will fornicate the process. It's working well. I've abstained from some cheescake which was calling out to me.     I've been hitting the gym everyday but I don't do anymore than 20-30 min of cardio. I can't really stand it.
From: Ross Entered on: January 7, 2005 11:24 PM
I'm on it, and so is Heather. It's tough, but I'm mostly on track. I've got to say, the snow and cold here makes it really tough to get up early in the morning to hit the gym. It's also complicated by the fact that I've been sleeping like shit lately for some reason. But I'm doing pretty well with an eye to do better. Eating has been going better. My goals for weight loss are similar but I'm also concerned about my waist size. I've actually put 3" of fat on my belly since I was in pretty good shape the summer before last. So I'm looking to lose 1" per month for these first 3 months.     But you're right, keeping in mind the fact that eating something shitty could ruin you helps quite a bit.
From: Jackzilla Entered on: January 8, 2005 9:22 AM
Over the holidays I ate my whole name in the form of dutch chocolate letters. It was sweet.
From: BigFatty Entered on: January 9, 2005 5:52 PM
There is a show on the BBC that I am watching called Diet Wars. It is supposedly one of the largest studies devoted to looking at diet effectiveness. They have 300 participants being watched by 5 university med schools, over a 6 month period. I like their methods so far. They randomly assign people to one of four diets - Slim Fast, Weight Watchers, Some low-fat, exersize one, and my fav - Atkins. After one month, Atkins is in the lead with the most weight lost on average. Slim Fast has the most drop outs. At two months, they do an imaging body scan to compare what was really lost - fat, muscle, water, bone - whatever. One of the docs is poo-pooing the Atkins loss after one month being mostly water (it is about twice the other average loss). We are waiting for the scan to see if she is right. I have my doubts with her. Of course some of it is water, but you would lose water weight on the other diets as well. One Atkins guy has lost 20 lbs at one month. The average for Atkins men is like 14 lbs and the average for all the other diets is at 7 lbs (men) after one month. Women lost about 40% less than men.     At 7 lbs a month, you just need to eat sensibly and exersize for they same loss. Most of these diets tell you to exersize anyway. I am curious to see if Atkins claim to Ketosis is true and more fat is actually lost on his diet.     I am looking at losing some of my school weight I gained back and fit into my sweet olive suit for Ross' wedding. I bought that suit after getting down to 165. That is my goal again. I estimate I am around 185 now... I will find a scale somewhere - now I just have a tape measure.
From: Ross Entered on: January 9, 2005 11:34 PM
Hey Fats, you do remember that you're IN my wedding and I have instituted a no-olive-suit rule, right? In fact, as I get to dictate your attire, you will be in the BigFattytm Blue Tuxedo with matching moon boots.
From: BigFatty Entered on: January 10, 2005 4:46 PM
Ah, the classic Burton Middle School dress. Don't forget the pink ruffled shirt so I match 'the ladies'!     For some reason I didn't think of us wearing tuxes in the wedding. I don't know why - I've been in enough of them to know! Well, Shit Negro - that took the steam out of my locomotive! I was all ready to squeeze into the 'stuffed olive' suit. Tuxes have those adjustable pants so fatties like Roche and Me are fans. I might bring it along for another night in Chi-town. Might as well make the most of it.     Ha, I was just thinking about my sweat pants. The day after I was fired, I went to Meijer and bought 2 pairs of sweats. I took the Costanza view on life and thought it was appropriate. I made sure I got the XL ones too, so I had room to grow!
From: Ross Entered on: March 17, 2005 11:37 AM
Hey Bone, are you still working out? I am, but it's weird - my weight loss/body shape progress hasn't been as fast as I'd like, but my workouts are getting better at a healthy rate. Today I ran for 25 mins @ 6.8mph, which blew away my goal of reaching 20 mins at that speed by the end of the month. Weights-wise, I'm not improving quite as fast but steady progress nonetheless.     I think part of my progress is hampered by poor eating on the weekends, which I'm going to start curtailing immediately.     Anyway, just thought I'd check in with a status report. I'm still eyeing the long term Bone-goal of 5 miles in 45 minutes, I think I should be able to reach it eventually but it's too early to set a timeframe.
From: The Bone Entered on: March 17, 2005 3:37 PM
I've been strict as a mofo. My 8 week plan is in week 7, havn't missed a workout yet. I'm a lean, muscular 204lbs - down from 218 at New Years. I benched 270lbs 3 times at the end of my workout which is strong as fuck for me (although Roche shits on my benching powers)     My short and long term cradio output is awesome. I did 12 mins on the treadmill at 1 degree incline at 9mph yesterday. I did an hour of cradio with a heart-rate of 136 the following day.     The main thing is I've been squating. After the initial week of excruciating pain, it's been fun as hell. Give the King of Exercises a try.     Congratulantions. I knew you'd be able to exceed your goal. You need to fire up the diet my man. I've been doing a quasi-Bill Phillips, Zone, Atkins style. No junk since New Years.     During past workout programs, I had a cheat day but the problem I find is that one cheat day leads to two which leads to a snowball effect. I'm like an alchoholic. I can't have a cheesburger or it will turn into a bender.
From: Ross Entered on: March 17, 2005 3:53 PM
I agree with you! My whole weekend is a cheat day, it seems like. I am fed up with my weak eating powers. It's time to change things.     I wish I could squat (well, sort of), but I'm afraid of my back getting messed up, as it's not in great shape even at the best of times. Besides that, my chickens scream at me for even the slightest transgressions - a couple weeks ago, I noticed per my usual that my limiting factor while running was my wimpy calves. So I hopped on the calf raise machine and did 3 sets with modest weight. Next morning, I nearly fell on the floor getting out of bed, I was so sore. I was sore for an entire week, fully 7 days. I've since kept doing the calf raises and that's partly why (I think) my running is getting better, but man, my legs are such crybabies I practically want to kick my own ass for being a pussy.     I'm also a dumbass for running in crosstraining shoes - I'm going shoe shopping Saturday and getting some real running shoes.     So what kind of upper body routines do you do? I am totally stagnating on my pushing days and I want to try something new.     Anyway, you've definitely added some motivation, so thanks.
From: The Bone Entered on: March 17, 2005 7:11 PM
I'll email you my routine on excel.
From: Swerb Entered on: March 19, 2005 12:03 AM
Funny thing: I just read an interview with Henry Rollins, and when the person asked him jokingly "how much do you bench?" his answer was that benching doesn't mean shit... it's how much you SQUAT that determines how much of a badass you are.     My motivation to lose a few lbs. came this week... I've had fucking diarrhea since Monday. This sucks major ballsack. My diet today consisted of:     Breakfast: Two pieces of toast, glass of water   Lunch: 64 oz. water, small cup of chicken noodle soup   Dinner: 1/4 cup white rice, 1/2 can of green beans   Snack: 4 girl scout cookies     I figure that's about, oh, 18 calories, and I've got to be burning that much via multiple annoying trips to the shitter, during which the water just pours out of me like I have a garden hose for a large intestine.     So there's your weight-loss plan: Get sick!
From: The Bone Entered on: March 19, 2005 12:12 AM
"...benching doesn't mean shit... it's how much you SQUAT that determines how much of a badass you are. "     Tell that to Roche. I agree, benching is not a very good gauge of sweetness. It doesn't help you do shit. Benching strength doesn't even correlate to knock-out power. However, I have a personal vendatta against 300lbs. Once I conquer that motherfucker, I'll never again bench heavy.     I love diarrhea - it makes me skinny.
From: Swerb Entered on: March 19, 2005 12:21 AM
Bone, try having diarrhea for a whole week, man... the cramping keeps me awake, and I'm about ready to throw myself off a cliff. The fucked up thing is, that's the only symptom of the illness I have at this point... fever passed in less than 24 hours, and since then, I've been able to function with relative normalcy, albeit with constant stomach pain and zero appetite.
From: BigFatty Entered on: March 20, 2005 12:42 PM
Swerb! Dude, wash your hands before you type! I got a taste of what you had last night. I was forced to use Bar Toilettes for shitting - Not a good thing in anyones book in any country! The next day I was sleeping the whole day away recovering!
From: Jackzilla Entered on: March 20, 2005 5:51 PM
Swerb - Listen to Fatty: When it comes to diarrhea the man knows his... um... shit.
From: Swerb Entered on: March 21, 2005 10:12 AM
Well, the good news is, the diarrhea has passed.     Sorry, couldn't avoid the pun. Fatty, you'd be proud of me: I celebrated my good health Saturday night with a cheeseburger!
From: The Bone Entered on: March 25, 2005 9:37 PM
I finshed my 8 week program with a max strength test. I finally beched 300lbs (about fucking time), I squat 315 4 times and I deadlifted 315. once. I feel as though I could have one rep maxed my squat at about 350 lbs and deadlifted about the same, I didn't want to injur myself.     Time for a new routine.
From: BigFatty Entered on: March 26, 2005 4:18 AM
Congrats on sticking with your 8 week routine. Most people can't go for 2 weeks on anything. I would have thought your squat would be more, given your predisposition of leg strength. But you are training for overall sweetness, aren't you? Heavy squats kill your run and would add mass to your 'Too Big' legs, upping your weight with mass in the wrong area.     I am pretty sure I've dropped down into puny-strength territory. I do miss weight training. I look to get into it when I get back.
From: Ross Entered on: March 26, 2005 9:40 AM
I was going to say the same about squats but that makes sense.     Well, I was going well until I started feeling like shit on Wednesday. I haven't worked out since... I'm giving my body time to recover from whatever is wrong (feels like everything is wrong).     In any case, once I modeled my chest routine a bit after Bone's, I realized something long forgotten: lifting heavy is FUN! Though I'm not very strong at all - I probably max the bench around 200lbs. Anyway, I can't wait to get back to it.
From: The Bone Entered on: March 28, 2005 8:11 PM
I think I'm relatively weak at squats because I haven't really done them since high school. I wanted to take it easy and use good form as a priority and let my joints and ligaments get stronger.     I started my new 8 week cycle today. I fucking love this program. I follow the 3x3 excel speadsheet on the following link:     http://www.joeskopec.com/programs.html     I add an hour of cardio on Tues and Sat and a half hour of interval training on Thurs/Fri. I also add abs and pullups on Tues and Thurs.     The dealift is super sweet. I can't believe nobody does these. I've been doing stif legged deadlifts for my hamstrings for a while but regular deadlifts are a sweet multi-muscle lift. I actually broke a sweat doing them.
From: BigFatty Entered on: April 4, 2005 9:39 AM
Swerb - I have been thinking of some ways I can make ends meet on my return. If you are serious about getting out of the Cheap Eat grind, tell your Boss that BigFatty is coming to town and is itchin to eat some American Burgers. If your boss wants to give me a freelance gig, I can do the Best Burger GR, like I've suggested before. I figure I get to have some free lunches and make $20 or so. I got the time to do it when I get back. I hope that some JOB thing comes around soon afterward.     Just don't tell me that you are officially off Cheap Eats and some intern is doing it now, Mr. Seniority.
From: Swerb Entered on: April 4, 2005 11:11 AM
Mr. Seniority? I'm still a part-time chump at the newspaper. Don't get me started on the career angst topic. But at least I'm working.     I have to admit I was half-serious about handing off the Cheap Eats thing to BigFatty, but I don't know how realistic it is. When you get back, you should throw together a column just for fun (I assume you'll have time to do this) and see what happens. I'm sure my editors will be reluctant for me to give up the column, especially to someone without any newspaper experience, but if they like your thing, maybe you can fill in when I'm on vacation or too busy or something. Who knows what might happen.
From: BigFatty Entered on: February 14, 2006 7:54 PM
Monster Thickburger ain't shit! All hail the new, GREATEST BURGER OF ALL TIME! The Godlike Sasquatch Burger from Bigfoot Lodge in Memphis, TN. It is 4 pounds of burger. This bitch only costs $19.95 and comes with fries. I say we all head down there and grab a sample. The first one to explode buys the burgers for all!     http://www.bigfootlodge.net/hallofshameintro.htm
From: Ross Entered on: February 15, 2006 10:48 AM
Oh. My. God.     That's outrageous. Swerb, I say you and Fatty make a field trip.
From: Swerb Entered on: February 15, 2006 11:24 PM
Yeah, except Fats and I went to the Broadway Bar last week, and he wouldn't eat their double burger (about 2/3 lb. by my estimation) because "it's too much." I even called him out, and he backed down. I'm seriously questioning the Fatstation's burger-eating ability...
From: BigFatty Entered on: April 8, 2006 10:04 AM
I've tried another burger that I find pretty fantastic. Swerb, I think you've been to this place - the Interurban Cafe in the large metropolis of Marne. I've been there twice and have been very impressed. The Cafe is a converted train station and has a cool small town atmosphere. They have a larger menu of burgers including their Buster Burger which is 3/4 pounds of hot steamy beef. I stick with their 1/4 pound bacon cheeseburger and it is fabulous! It is made fresh and is well crafted with appropriate amounts of condiments. It is frickin tasty. The best part is this burger only costs $3.50 served with a side of chips. I have to put that burger in my top 10 list. Swerb, care to weigh in on this place? Have you been there? If not, I'd gladly take you there for lunch.
From: Swerb Entered on: April 8, 2006 2:39 PM
I haven't been there yet. Let's go!
From: BigFatty Entered on: April 9, 2006 10:55 PM
Looks like we've been given a man-date! Why can't two men share their love for hot beef, cheese and bacon? The hambuger just serves it up neatly nestled between two halves of a bun. I wish life was that neat and uncomplicated. If that is wrong, I don't want to be right!     Tell me what days work for you and we can set it up my man!
From: BigFatty Entered on: April 10, 2006 8:29 PM
Swerb and I are on! We are hitting the Interurban Cafe tomorrow! To make us officially gay, I will be busting out the Miata with the top down for the occasion. I hope they play Culture Club on the lunch 80's parade!!!
From: Bunky Entered on: July 20, 2008 3:09 PM
Hey Fatty, I thought of you when I saw this. http://www.forbestraveler.com/food-drink/most-expensive-burgers-story.html
From: BigFatty Entered on: July 22, 2008 2:19 PM
Thanks for the thought...  I saw the article too.  The $150 dollar burger in NY was in the news a few years back.  This stuff is stupid.  The $6 Carl's Jr burger will kick all their asses (and it is only $3-4). Assholes that pay that much for a burger piss me off.  Isn't there much better ways for them to 'waste' their money.  What kind of image do they have of themselves???  Man, I am SO cool... I just spent $6000 on 2 burgers and a bottle of wine."  Fuck them. If they want something new and trendy to throw their money at, I'll sprinkle gold dust on my foot and kick them straight in the ass. - Only $5000!  Any takers???
From: RobotSpider Entered on: July 22, 2008 2:47 PM
BigFatty said: If they want something new and trendy to throw their money at, I'll sprinkle gold dust on my foot and kick them straight in the ass. - Only $5000!  Any takers??? How soon can you get here?
From: Jackzilla Entered on: July 22, 2008 2:57 PM
BigFatty said: If they want something new and trendy to throw their money at, I'll sprinkle gold dust on my foot and kick them straight in the ass. - Only $5000! Any takers???   HA HA HA!
From: Bunky Entered on: July 22, 2008 3:06 PM
Yeah. Robot prefers to spend his on domains, and I prefer to spend it random magazines and send them to Jack's store. I can't wait until the latest edition of OUT Magazine arrives...
From: Jackzilla Entered on: July 22, 2008 3:13 PM
Bunky = Fun First Date
From: Bunky Entered on: July 22, 2008 3:16 PM
I feel a chicken sandwich beatdown coming your way in Vegas....
From: Jackzilla Entered on: July 22, 2008 3:38 PM
Holy crap! www.chickensandwichbeatdown.com
From: Ross Entered on: March 31, 2009 8:49 AM
New burger pr0n ad for the thickburger:
From: Jackzilla Entered on: March 31, 2009 9:11 AM
Good lord!  I'm sportin' a bern!  (And the girl's pretty hot too)
From: Ross Entered on: March 31, 2009 9:21 AM
Or would that be spertin' a bern?
From: BigFatty Entered on: March 31, 2009 1:46 PM
Fatty is Back!
From: Ross Entered on: March 31, 2009 4:18 PM
Back to what?  Eating Monster Thickburgers?
From: Jackzilla Entered on: March 31, 2009 6:03 PM
Fatty... it's time to come home:
From: BigFatty Entered on: March 31, 2009 11:37 PM
Jizzed in my pants.  I believe I see cornchips - inspired!
From: Swerb Entered on: April 1, 2009 8:01 PM
I have seen that burger in person... and it turned my stomach...