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Mental Illness
Entered on: July 15, 2003 12:24 PM by John
The other day while exiting River Town Mall I inadvertently tried to go out a door with a sign redirecting people to use the other doors. This apparently infuriated an onlooker and caused her to go into a lengthy diatribe at my expense. She berated me for being "fucking retarded" and "fucking illiterate" to which I replied with "I see your genius has afforded you a strong command of the language". She then retorted with "thats right, asshole". I chuckled all the way to my car realizing she was of course mentaly ill.

NEWS 64 - 16 Comments
From: Ross Entered on: June 23, 2003 1:09 PM
You sure are an asshole for trying to go out the wrong door, dude. You should be ashamed of yourself.
From: John Entered on: June 23, 2003 1:19 PM
I am very ashamed for my asinine behavior. I shall accept full responsibility and apologize to Lord Vader. ACK!!!
From: Jackzilla Entered on: June 27, 2003 3:03 PM
Johnny - You forgot to mention a detail in your written report that you mentioned to me earlier: The sign had been up there all week (at least according to the woman). I can't fathom your ignorance!  

From: Ross Entered on: June 27, 2003 3:14 PM
Considering that every NORMAL person goes to River Town Mall at least several times per day, it is reprehensible that Roche could have missed this time and again. For shame!
From: John Entered on: June 27, 2003 3:50 PM
Yes, you guys are correct. I was to ashamed to make mention of that little tidbit. Apparently my ignorance knows no bounds!
From: The Bone Entered on: June 27, 2003 7:53 PM
That's a good one Roche. I dare some stupid bitch to berate for something like that. I lie awake at night dreaming of a confrontation like that. Must be because I'm an areshurl. By the way, I've been in Washington all week with no computer. I'm using the one at Comfort Inn in Seattle.
From: BigFatty Entered on: June 29, 2003 5:28 PM
It sounds like you know Ka-razy! Dude - where are the cheese stories. Did the job fall through? Forgive me, I am completely out of the loop.  
Your response to this chick was stupendous. How can you come up with a gem like that so quickly? It would have taken me days to even think of a retort.
From: Ross Entered on: June 29, 2003 6:45 PM
I also have been wanting for some Cheese related tales, as has Swerb. Apparently the reasons are twofold: 1) the Cheesery is not vey exciting and they think Roche is a simpleton so do not enlighten him to the various analogues to the K machine and whatnot, and 2) he has not been there in a while.
From: Jackzilla Entered on: June 30, 2003 9:31 AM
Fatty! That's MY line! "I don't know kar-ATE but I DO know ka-RAZY!"  
Regarding the cheesery, rumor has it that Roche was caught smuggling out cheese in his pants.  

From: Ross Entered on: June 30, 2003 9:48 AM
Ah! No wonder they call him cheese dick! Or was it dick cheese?
From: John Entered on: June 30, 2003 11:09 AM
Fatty- I should have made it more clear in my story but this was no chick. This was a fifty-something short rotund bitch. As for my quick witted quip, she was unimpressed.
From: John Entered on: July 15, 2003 12:14 PM
I've rewritten my Mental Illness story to the best of my recollection. I however did not check for any spelling errors and don't plan to so there may be some. I just wanted to replace it as quick as I could since I rather like this story.
From: Ross Entered on: July 15, 2003 12:16 PM
I agree with Tony on this one: "That's right, asshole" is one of the sweetest phrases in the english language. I feel that maximizing its use is a winning proposition.
From: John Entered on: July 15, 2003 12:51 PM
I love how you subtly correct my punctuation just by making a comment. I'm aware I leave something to be desired when it comes to spelling and punctuation.  
Also, I thought my comment to her was pretty witty which was another reason I was chuckling to myself on the way to my car.
From: Ross Entered on: July 15, 2003 1:48 PM
Your comment was witty. I just find it highly amusing that while hers was not witty, it was funny nonetheless - even if it wasn't meant to be. And I wasn't intentionally correcting your punctuation, either. I just wrote the quote without looking at your version.
From: John Entered on: July 15, 2003 3:01 PM
Yeah, her retort was funny. What's amusing to me is the fact that she seemed to think I was actually complementing her for her genius. She did not seem to sense I was being facetious. All these things were why I was amused and chuckling on the way to my car.  
As for unintentionally correcting my punctuation, it's no biggie. I'm getting used to finding my own mistakes and as for the ones I don't find, oh well. I'm not going to let those things bother me because if I did it would drive me crazy.

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