I just had an agent answer the phone with this doozy and I thought I'd share it with you all.
Agent: "Excuse me, I just put a handful of nuts in my mouth."
That is the wrong thing to say to me on a Friday night. I laughed for about a minute and I'm hoping that the sweet little agent didn't realize why, exactly, I was laughing.
I think the proper response is, "You're hired!"