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NEWS 601 - 25 Comments
From: Swerb Entered on: December 30, 2008 12:35 AM
I second the well-wishing/insult.
From: Jackzilla Entered on: December 30, 2008 1:19 AM
Shit!  I just laughed and threw out my hip!  Fuckers.
From: BigFatty Entered on: December 30, 2008 6:15 AM
Happy Birfday you old-ass fart.  I think the perfect gift for you now is some Ben-Gay cream to sooth your arthritic hands from playing too much Gears 2. Remember when you were in your 20s and thought people in their 40s were old?  Well, its true!
From: Ross Entered on: December 30, 2008 12:59 PM
I just laughed and crapped my pants.  How old does that make me? Happy birthday, Zilla.
From: NickNick Entered on: December 30, 2008 1:04 PM
Sorry Zilla.  You're present is going to be a little late this year.  I guess there's a back up on shipments for the Rascal Scooter.  Good news though is with it's incredible 360 degree turning radius, it allows instant access to all the Rock Band Instruments.
From: RobotSpider Entered on: December 30, 2008 1:19 PM
This is how Zilla needs to roll...
From: Bunky Entered on: December 30, 2008 2:32 PM
I like the 5 point harness safety feature so when he falls asleep while driving, he won't fall off.  Now all he needs is a sweet hat like Walter Matthau wore in Grumpy Old Men to keep his old head warm.
From: Ross Entered on: December 30, 2008 3:08 PM
That is sooo badass!  I'm visiting some friends in Charlotte, and this guy was saying that some people in his neighborhood have golf carts to travel between each other's houses.  How much sweeter would you be if you rolled up in one of these?
From: NickNick Entered on: December 30, 2008 3:36 PM
I found one for Fatty.
From: BigFatty Entered on: December 30, 2008 5:04 PM
Shit Ninjas - this is how I roll:
From: RobotSpider Entered on: December 31, 2008 8:01 AM
Bunky said: I like the 5 point harness safety feature so when he falls asleep while driving, he won't fall off. Yeah, because there's nothing safer in a three-wheeled, open cockpit (yeah, I said cock, deal with it) than being strapped into it when it rolls on you.  On the up-side, your head and torso would serve as a nice crumple-zone so you didn't ruin your sweet paint job :)
From: BigFatty Entered on: January 1, 2009 10:43 AM
Oh... and one more thing ...... HAPPY NEW YEARS YOU FILTHY MOTHERFUCKERS!
From: Crockett Entered on: January 2, 2009 12:57 AM
Here's Bunky's gift to Jack.
From: BigFatty Entered on: January 2, 2009 3:04 AM
Is that a sock monkey dildo?
From: Jackzilla Entered on: January 2, 2009 7:52 AM
It's a crank cozy! What a great time my Birfday Sleepover Partay was!  Thanks to everyone that made it out!  And to those that couldn't:  YOU SUCK!
From: Crockett Entered on: January 2, 2009 12:59 PM
Jack was too funny.  You know that he rarely imbibes in adult beverages but he was sucking them down on NYE. He went full Bells, challenging everyone to pushup contests and he had a full hardon for playing Twister - until he had Nick Nick's ass in his face. Then he wanted only the guests of the female persuasion to play with him. It took him that long to figure that out?!?!?!?
From: Bunky Entered on: January 2, 2009 2:27 PM
Be sure to check your mail in March Fats!
From: BigFatty Entered on: January 2, 2009 4:46 PM
March??  Why so long?  Are you sending it over on the Lusitania?  Am I getting a Crank Cozy (tm)?  Hmmm - better make it Sasquatchian sized so I can regift it to a HUNGargian.
From: Bunky Entered on: January 2, 2009 9:25 PM
Sorry Fatty, I meant July! I knew you had the same birfday as one of my kids, I just couldn't remember which one! Sock Monkey Dildo's (TM) are not an everyday gift Fats! You can only send those for special events such as birfdays...
From: BigFatty Entered on: January 3, 2009 11:05 AM
I hope it gets through Customs OK.  I'd hate to explain to the proper authorities about how many Sock Monkeys were killed to make one.  But, I would get the chance to explain its use and get thrown in jail.  'What is it used for?  You use it to fuck yourself officer.  Oh don't beat me again... I'm cooperating!'
From: Bunky Entered on: January 3, 2009 10:03 AM
Zilla, you can leave the Sock Monkey home, but bring the camera for Rad's Bachelor Party tonight!
From: The Bone Entered on: January 5, 2009 8:14 AM
I'm back after 2 weeks of no internet. It's funny how reliant I am on the internet. I went through serious withdrawals. Sorry Fatty I couldn't make it to Hungary. Not enough time or ability. Next time, I swing through Europe I'll do the grand tour appropriately.
From: Jackzilla Entered on: January 5, 2009 10:34 AM
Welcome back, Mr Kotter! By the way, we may not see as much from Rad around here.  Apparently his work has dubbed this site inappropriate for the workplace.
From: RobotSpider Entered on: January 5, 2009 11:05 AM
BigFatty said: Hmmm - better make it Sasquatchian sized so I can regift it to a HUNGargian. Sasquatchian? Would that be very large, but only mythically so?  The few that have reported sightings say it's very large, but it's actually non-existant?
From: Bunky Entered on: January 5, 2009 11:12 AM
Did Rad's boss catch him peeking at the Sock Monkey Dildo (TM)? Do I need to order a crank cozy for the boss to smooth things over?