Sites We Like

RealUltimatePower

Poop Report

Fat Chicks in Party Hats

Xbox-Scene

TechLore

NEWS 594 - 77 Comments
From: Jackzilla Entered on: December 9, 2008 1:37 PM
I realized he had full lost it when he was "a fan of breathing" (WTF!?)
From: Ross Entered on: December 9, 2008 7:21 PM
I'm trying to get people on my "Fan of Metamucil bandwagon" - alas, no one wants to admit it...
From: BigFatty Entered on: December 9, 2008 11:36 PM
Its the same with 'Fan of hardcore porn and masterbation' or 'I shat myself at JC Penny'.  If Facebook is going to have categories, ar least they can have meaniful ones.  Ross if you are going to lure Swerb back from the Dark Side, maybe we have to have lame groups for him to join.
From: RobotSpider Entered on: December 10, 2008 8:23 AM
Does anyone know how to start a group on Facebook?  I want to start a "Fan of Swerb" group.  Let me know if you know how.
From: Crockett Entered on: December 12, 2008 10:33 PM
Here you go - Fans of Swerb
From: Swerb Entered on: December 13, 2008 8:08 AM
I recently became a fan of toothpaste.
From: Crockett Entered on: December 13, 2008 12:06 PM
Swerb said: I recently became a fan of toothpaste. We have been meaning to talk to you about that, Swerb.....
From: BigFatty Entered on: December 13, 2008 12:37 PM
What is this paste made of tooth you speak so highly of?  Is it made from the teeth of the dead?  Admit it Swerb.  You have gone full high school over Facebook.  What is your take on High School Musical?  Bet you loved it.
From: Jackzilla Entered on: December 13, 2008 8:11 PM
Next you're going to accuse him of liking Moulin Rouge!  What?  Oh...
From: The Bone Entered on: December 13, 2008 9:11 PM
Moulin Rouge was good!
From: Jackzilla Entered on: December 14, 2008 8:38 AM
Homo
From: BigFatty Entered on: December 14, 2008 11:36 AM
Yep - liking Moulin Rouge trumps getting pedicures for gayness.
From: The Bone Entered on: December 14, 2008 12:09 PM
What? A story about a dude wanting to get it on with a whore is gay? Bullshit, that's one of the 5 manly arts.
From: Jackzilla Entered on: December 14, 2008 12:58 PM
From RottenTomatoes: Consensus: A love-it-or-hate-it experience, Moulin Rouge is all style, all giddy, over-the-top spectacle. ...or "gay"
From: Bunky Entered on: December 14, 2008 5:34 PM
I am going to side with Bone on this one. Moulin Rouge was good, and even my husband who was hesitant to watch it enjoyed it. I think your Bionic Stank and Earth 2 taste is clouding your judgement....
From: Jackzilla Entered on: December 14, 2008 6:21 PM
So there ya go, Bone:  Bunky liked it.
From: The Bone Entered on: December 14, 2008 7:17 PM
So she has better taste than you Zilla. Don't feel bad, your still better at Gears.
From: Swerb Entered on: December 14, 2008 10:13 PM
Moulin Rouge is sweet. P.S. I just became a fan of Moulin Rouge.
From: RobotSpider Entered on: December 15, 2008 8:15 AM
The Bone said: What? A story about a dude wanting to get it on with a whore is gay? Bullshit, that's one of the 5 manly arts. I can't believe everyone else just glossed over this, unless I'm the only one who doesn't know...  So I have to ask, what are the other four?
From: Bunky Entered on: December 15, 2008 9:18 AM
The Bone said: So she has better taste than you Zilla. Don't feel bad, your still better at Gears. I either play okay or pure suck it seems lately. However, last night, I was able to take down some cheating f'ers who found a glitch on the River Map!
From: BigFatty Entered on: December 15, 2008 12:23 PM
RobotSpider said: I can't believe everyone else just glossed over this, unless I'm the only one who doesn't know...  So I have to ask, what are the other four? Fucking, Farting, Fighting, Feasting, and..... um...  Fancing Moulin Rouge
From: The Bone Entered on: December 15, 2008 1:19 PM
RobotSpider said: The Bone said: What? A story about a dude wanting to get it on with a whore is gay? Bullshit, that's one of the 5 manly arts. I can't believe everyone else just glossed over this, unless I'm the only one who doesn't know...  So I have to ask, what are the other four? Ha ha, I just made that up cause it sounded good. There are only two manly arts - fucking and fighting. Everything else is just a derivative of. And no Fatty, farting is not manly. It's crass. That's why I don't do it in the presence of women.
From: Creeko Entered on: December 15, 2008 4:43 PM
According to Ernest Hemingway, the only true manly endevaurs are: Bull-fighting Mountainering and Motor Racing All else is childs play I have, In some form or another, participated in all three. (I havent actually faught a bull, but I have been in close proximity to one as it ran by in the street)
From: BigFatty Entered on: December 15, 2008 5:13 PM
Nope - I modified it some, but here are the Five Manly Arts: Fucking Farting Feeding (Themselves or Families) Fighting Fixing shit These activities are associated with men.  Farting is crass, but it is what men do.  A true and real man FEEDS his family and FIGHTS for what he believes in.  He knows how to FIX shit and how to FUCK his woman (or FUCKING shit up is another male trait).  A real man can do all this and still rip a huge FART for the world to enjoy. Show me a man that will not fart and I will show you, not a man, but a timid creature afraid to harness the great wind inside.  Afraid to grab life by the hair and roar into it's face - Smell my stink Bitches!
From: The Bone Entered on: December 15, 2008 6:28 PM
Farting is for hillbillies, feeding is fine but not a manly art, fixing shit is for cheap bastards who buy shit that breaks. Besides, that's what money is for - hiring someone to fix shit cause I'm too busy fucking and fighting.
From: John Entered on: December 15, 2008 9:41 PM
Fuck Moulin Rouge!  Too manic for my tastes (with a dose of gay).
From: BigFatty Entered on: December 15, 2008 11:13 PM
Bone - just because you are lacking in some of the main areas of manliness doesn't mean you should shit on the scale.  A farting redneck hillbilly fixing his truck so he can go to work as a lumberjack is way too manly for your brand.  In fact, you have way to many Metro tendencies for the Arts.  You are more of a Will and Grace type male - 'Just Bone!'  What can I say, I am lacking in the Macho Mojo Department as well.  Pedicures don't help one bit.
From: The Bone Entered on: December 16, 2008 5:21 AM
Ok Fatty, if that's what you think....
From: Ross Entered on: December 16, 2008 8:33 AM
Jernyberls - are you back online or are you stealing bandwidth from someone?
From: Jackzilla Entered on: December 16, 2008 8:35 AM
Ross said: Jernyberls - are you back online or are you stealing bandwidth from someone? Stealing bandwidth.  But he's supposed to "make the call" today and get internet again.  He has a new Xbox 360 with 3 months of free Live to use!
From: Bunky Entered on: December 16, 2008 9:14 AM
Jack, didn't you just acquire your 3rd 360?
From: RobotSpider Entered on: December 16, 2008 10:12 AM
The Bone said: ...fixing shit is for cheap bastards who buy shit that breaks. I disagree.  First, shit breaks, no matter how much you spend on it.  Second, 'fixing' shit also includes building/making/modifying shit.  There are lots of times I want something that just doesn't exist, or whatever is available isn't of the quality I would expect.  Example, my Rock Band pedal.  I could have fixed it with a steel plate, but I chose to build it better than the original.  Without engineering and the ability to build what does not exist, you knuckle-draggers would be down to bloody arm-stumps by now (which we can also fix).
From: Jackzilla Entered on: December 16, 2008 10:56 AM
Bunky said: Jack, didn't you just acquire your 3rd 360? Why yes, and it's already on it's way to M$ to get repaired for free.
From: Ross Entered on: December 16, 2008 11:03 AM
RobotSpider said: The Bone said: ...fixing shit is for cheap bastards who buy shit that breaks. I disagree.  First, shit breaks, no matter how much you spend on it.  Second, 'fixing' shit also includes building/making/modifying shit.  There are lots of times I want something that just doesn't exist, or whatever is available isn't of the quality I would expect.  Example, my Rock Band pedal.  I could have fixed it with a steel plate, but I chose to build it better than the original.  Without engineering and the ability to build what does not exist, you knuckle-draggers would be down to bloody arm-stumps by now (which we can also fix). Well said.  I agree completely.
From: Jackzilla Entered on: December 16, 2008 12:31 PM
Who's got time to fix shit?  Bone's got some manly Moulin Rouge watching to attend to! By the way, Ang & I just watched Clint Eastwood's newest movie GRAN TURINO and despite it's deficiency in musical numbers it was sweet!  THUMBS!   (Bone: Beware!  Clint's character fixes a lot of stuff in it -- what a pussy!).
From: The Bone Entered on: December 16, 2008 12:34 PM
Robot - the first part of your statement is true. However, usually a quality piece of gear, though more expensive, usually outlasts an inferior, cheaper product. That's all I really meant. It was really just a jab at Fatty the Jew who is known sometimes for being a cheap bastard. However, to be fair, he often does balance price with quality thus achieving fair value in his purchases. The second part of your post, while also true, addresses innovation and creating something new. Strictly speaking not what most people are thinking about when the term "fixing" is used.  So really if you are going to pull one sentence out of context, at least stick to the spirit of it. Obviously fixing things isn't always necessary since you still haven't fixed your Dr. Octopus Hairdo :)
From: Swerb Entered on: December 17, 2008 8:40 AM
Zilla: How did you see Gran Torino already? I would like to state for the record that my Swerb-Sweet official studio-sanctioned screener copy, with all of its accompanying legal threats, has not left my hands. But yes, I agree - it's a pretty sweet film. Classic crusty Clint. (Please don't remove the 'n' from that phrase.) I also give it the thumbs!
From: Jackzilla Entered on: December 17, 2008 9:28 AM
Swerb said: Zilla: How did you see Gran Torino already? I would like to state for the record that my Swerb-Sweet official studio-sanctioned screener copy, with all of its accompanying legal threats, has not left my hands. But yes, I agree - it's a pretty sweet film. Classic crusty Clint. (Please don't remove the 'n' from that phrase.) I also give it the thumbs! Well it apparently it left someone's hands!  You can't hide shit in the digitial age! By the way... I guess we didn't win tickets to the Benjaman Button sneak.  Once again Swerb let's his professionalism for a fair drawing trump friendship.  Both Ang & I entered twice with two different e-mail addresses... FRICK!  What's a ninja gotta do!? Seriously, we're looking forward to that one.  We're hoping to somehow see it on Christmas Day (Ang's folks are in town, so we gotta work the guilty grandparent angle for babysitting!). Bells refuses to see it.  He wants to know how someone could be born old.  Didn't he ever watch Mork & Mindy!?  (Never mind that he can accept any silly origin for a superhero movie).
From: Bunky Entered on: December 17, 2008 11:30 AM
Swerb, it appears you haven't joined "Fans of Gran Torino" yet on Facebook...
From: Swerb Entered on: December 17, 2008 5:49 PM
Jackzilla said: By the way... I guess we didn't win tickets to the Benjaman Button sneak.  Once again Swerb let's his professionalism for a fair drawing trump friendship.  Both Ang & I entered twice with two different e-mail addresses... FRICK!  What's a ninja gotta do!? Bribe me. You don't want to see the movie at Star, anyway. Janky seats, way expensive popcorn, and it'll probably be out of focus. Besides, the movie is really long and drawn-out. I found it kinda boring. Bells would probably hate it, I wager. OK, Zilla, confession time: I drew your name randomly, out of 260 emails, but gave the passes to someone else, for fear of being accused of cronyism. Seriously! And I feel shitty about it now because I did draw it, fair and square, and Stacy subsequently gave me crap for it. Frankly, if you hadn't mentioned it, I would never have said anything. Such is the hazard of being friends with me. I owe you and Ang a movie...
From: The Bone Entered on: December 17, 2008 6:47 PM
Swerb said: OK, Zilla, confession time: I drew your name randomly, out of 260 emails, but gave the passes to someone else, for fear of being accused of cronyism. Seriously! And I feel shitty about it now because I did draw it, fair and square, and Stacy subsequently gave me crap for it. Frankly, if you hadn't mentioned it, I would never have said anything. Such is the hazard of being friends with me. I owe you and Ang a movie... I don't know why, but I find this very amusing.
From: Jackzilla Entered on: December 17, 2008 7:36 PM
FRICK!
From: BigFatty Entered on: December 18, 2008 12:44 AM
HAHAHAHAHAHA!  The Golden Zilla Mojo, interferred with by the 'Real World'.  Better stick to Lowell where the birds are still singing on your shoulder.  Grand Rapids folks like to mess with your Mojo - them cheating bastards! Watch out Swerb - this could turn out like a bad movie.  Zilla's golden Mojo - a gold sock monkey, is angered.  He goes to get even with you.  Hijinks and hillarity ensue.  He won't stop until exactly those tickets are returned to the rightful winner.  But you sent them to some obscure location!  Road trip!  This time it is with a Monkey on your back, a golden one. Man, I should write movies.  This idea is just as good as The Mask and better than a thousand others!
From: The Bone Entered on: December 18, 2008 8:52 AM
*Looks for reading glass*
From: The Bone Entered on: December 18, 2008 8:54 AM
Found them....oh wait, it was just jibberish.
From: Jackzilla Entered on: December 18, 2008 10:36 AM
HA HA HA! Fatty been hittin' the spiked eggnog early!
From: Ross Entered on: December 18, 2008 10:54 AM
The Bone said: Found them....oh wait, it was just jibberish. You said it - sometimes reading Fatty's stream of conciousness is like trying to dechiper ancient hieroglyphics.
From: Bunky Entered on: December 18, 2008 11:56 AM
Zilla, you got Swerb-Sweet-Screwed!
From: Bunky Entered on: January 25, 2009 3:50 PM
I watched Taken last night. Bell's and Bone will approve of all the ass kicking that occurs. If only Liam could have been that sweet in Phantom Menace!
From: Ross Entered on: January 26, 2009 8:43 AM
Hey, I think Liam was pretty sweet in Phantom Menace.  The Jedi fight at the end was the only non-sucky thing in the movie! I watched Slumdog Millionaire last night - very good flick.  I can see why it's the favorite to win Best Picture at the Oscars.  Thumbs.
From: Bunky Entered on: January 26, 2009 11:42 AM
I agree with you on Phantom Menace. What I meant was, it would have been sweet if he kicked as much ass all through Phantom Menace. I haven't seen Slumdog yet, but want to. I watched Benjamin Buttons last night, and The Wrestler the night before. I enjoyed Benjamin Buttons but am still undecided on the Wrestler.
From: Creeko Entered on: January 26, 2009 1:08 PM
I liked Taken well enough, but for sweet ass kicking action, I think Bourne wins out.
From: Bunky Entered on: January 26, 2009 7:08 PM
Agreed. I just watched the Borne Ultimatum again last week. I was just suprised to see Liam kicking so much ass in Taken.
From: BigFatty Entered on: January 26, 2009 11:56 PM
I am not too sure about all the Slumdog hype.  To me, it is a good movie... but it is not all that!  Best movie of the year????  I liked The Kite Runner much better.
From: Ross Entered on: January 27, 2009 7:51 AM
Then you are a moron.
From: Jackzilla Entered on: January 27, 2009 9:03 AM
I'm with Fatty on Slumdog.  A (merely) "good" movie that's way over-rated in my opinion (and I watched weeks ago before the hype, so it's not that my expectations were raised to high).  Should it be up for Best Movie over The Dark Knight?  Get the fuck out!
From: Bunky Entered on: January 27, 2009 9:27 AM
Someone save Swerb from Facebook and get him in this debate!
From: BigFatty Entered on: January 27, 2009 1:01 PM
Really?  I am a moron because I thought the movie was good, but not great?  What parts of the movie gave you the biggest boner?  The predictability?  The tie-in to Who Wants to be a Millionaire?  The Bollywood dance at the end?  So you are really going to say that was better than The Dark Knight? Let me adjust your Top Five movies: Strawberry Shortcake - The Sweet Dreams Movie (In your case - wet dreams) Slumdog Millionaire Black Cockula 3 - The Ass Reamer Star Wars Spiderman 3 Or should I move Star Wars up?
From: Jackzilla Entered on: January 27, 2009 1:37 PM
HA HA HA!!!
From: Ross Entered on: January 27, 2009 6:28 PM
That list is pretty accurate, but make sure you qualify #4 as "The Phantom Menace".  Thank you.
From: Bunky Entered on: January 27, 2009 6:44 PM
Jack, do you stock #3 behind the counter at Rookies? If so, throw that in my box with the rest of my order!
From: Ross Entered on: January 27, 2009 9:44 PM
BTW Fatty, I had to look up "Strawberry Shortcake The Sweet Dreams Movie" to determine whether you are a genius for inventing it or gay for knowing that it really exists. Will anyone be surprised by the actual outcome?
From: Ross Entered on: January 27, 2009 9:47 PM
I just watched Taken and I loved every minute of it.  I actually think he gave Bourne a run for his money in terms of ass whuppery.  there was a moment when he hit a dude in the throat and then slammed him into a car that looked so realistic yet funny at the same time that I had to go back and watch it again.  I definitely give the movie the thumbs - it's like a Frank Miller story (before he went insane and started making movies) - basically, "you fucked with the wroooong guy!"
From: Swerb Entered on: January 27, 2009 11:03 PM
In defense of Slumdog: Danny Boyle is a badass motherf-ing director. It's so dynamically shot/directed/captured, it's amazing. Unknown actors come out of nowhere to give utterly convincing and sincere performances. I haven't heard/seen a better combination of music and images all year. Think of it as a modern fairy tale. The kid has suffered so much, he deserves his fate. The balance of gritty realism - which lends the film much intensity - helps make the fantastical circumstances of the story easier to swallow. It made me feel hopeful and happy and invigorated. Its technical elements appeal to the intellect, its underdog story appeals to the emotions. The best movies always balance these two elements. I'd wager that nobody here has watched it on a big screen. I keep going back to this argument, but movies are much more involving in a theater than at home. (Especially films like this, which boast the aforementioned visual dynamics.) Period. End of discussion. BUT, I liked Dark Knight better. Heath Ledger makes it so. None of the Best Picture nominees deserve to be there instead of it.
From: Swerb Entered on: January 27, 2009 11:04 PM
Ross said: BTW Fatty, I had to look up "Strawberry Shortcake The Sweet Dreams Movie" to determine whether you are a genius for inventing it or gay for knowing that it really exists. Will anyone be surprised by the actual outcome? Hahahahahahah!
From: The Bone Entered on: January 27, 2009 11:33 PM
I haven't seen Slumdog Millionaire yet but I love the fuck out of Danny Boyle and if it's got Bollywood dancing, then I'm in! This has been an entertaining thread though. I'm still snickering about Black Cockula and Bunky wanting some. The Strawberry Shortcake retort by Bert was a gem. One thing I will say, is though Dark Knight was good it wasn't great. Heath Ledger kicked supreme ass but the rest of the film around him was just ok. Especially the cell phone gayness.
From: Bunky Entered on: January 28, 2009 12:14 AM
Ross, what about the scene with the spikes? I squealed like a little girl covered my eyes! One of my nephews who watched it with me wants to re-watch it and count how many Mo Fo's he takes out! I give it thumbs as well and think I am going to watch it again tonight! I was laughing for awhile after Fatty's post, and now can't stop giggling after reading Ross' response.
From: BigFatty Entered on: January 28, 2009 12:51 AM
Ross said: BTW Fatty, I had to look up "Strawberry Shortcake The Sweet Dreams Movie" to determine whether you are a genius for inventing it or gay for knowing that it really exists. Will anyone be surprised by the actual outcome? I did my research on SSTSDM.  I thought there was a movie, so a quick Goregol sealed it.  My back up search would have been My Pretty Pony.  I actually did a search for real gay porn titles.  Then I realized it would be just as good to make one up.  Imagine my wife's surprise seeing 'gay porn movie titles' in the search box!  Yes I know that last sentence is a big opening....  who is lame enough to jump on the obvious comebacks?
From: Ross Entered on: January 28, 2009 7:48 AM
I definitely liked that scene and felt ashamed for cackling with glee as he tortured that guy.  I also felt ashamed and pervy for lusting after the daughter, as I've seen her many places (including Lost) looking super hot, but in this movie, she's playing a 17 year old (she's 25 in real life).  She does a very good job of acting much younger than she really is... which in turn makes her hotter and thus me more pervy.
From: Jackzilla Entered on: January 28, 2009 7:51 AM
Swerb said: I haven't heard/seen a better combination of music and images all year. Since Bells isn't online these days -- and spends a fair amount of time in the car with Jeurge going to or coming from Minnesota -- let me post on his behalf: I believe he would argue that MAMA MIA is the best combination of music and images all year.  He not only liked it a lot (he wouldn't approve of the stronger term "love"), he's taken to listening to a lot of ABBA since watching the movie. This is no joke. When we were out for dinner at the Bells Saturday, we were accosted with ABBA music at large, celebratory levels for the first 30 minutes or so.  And last night Jeurge tells us that ABBA GOLD was the only CD listened to in the car on the recent Minnesota trip.  Apparently, "Dancing Queen" takes Bells to his happy place.
From: Ross Entered on: January 28, 2009 10:44 AM
I hope for both your sakes that you are lying.
From: Jackzilla Entered on: January 28, 2009 11:49 AM
JohnnyBells' Elixir of Life
From: Bunky Entered on: January 28, 2009 8:11 PM
So Zilla, is that a no on the movie then?
From: Swerb Entered on: January 28, 2009 9:14 PM
Ross said: I hope for both your sakes that you are lying.  Nope. It's true. He was touting how much he enjoyed Mamma Mia Saturday night, and I was questioning his manhood for it. Of course, I can't bench 300, so what the fuck do I know?
From: Crockett Entered on: January 29, 2009 1:05 AM
Jackzilla said: Swerb said: I haven't heard/seen a better combination of music and images all year. Since Bells isn't online these days -- and spends a fair amount of time in the car with Jeurge going to or coming from Minnesota -- let me post on his behalf: I believe he would argue that MAMA MIA is the best combination of music and images all year.  He not only liked it a lot (he wouldn't approve of the stronger term "love"), he's taken to listening to a lot of ABBA since watching the movie. This is no joke. When we were out for dinner at the Bells Saturday, we were accosted with ABBA music at large, celebratory levels for the first 30 minutes or so.  And last night Jeurge tells us that ABBA GOLD was the only CD listened to in the car on the recent Minnesota trip.  Apparently, "Dancing Queen" takes Bells to his happy place. Boy am I glad I had that Christmas party on Saturday now.
From: Jackzilla Entered on: January 29, 2009 10:14 AM
Bunky said: So Zilla, is that a no on the movie then? ???  what movie?  huh?
From: Jackzilla Entered on: January 29, 2009 11:27 PM
There's one more piece of the Bells puzzle that needs to be exposed:  He's taken to reading romance novels.  Granted it's the novels that HBO's True Blood is based on, but aren't those basically "Twilight" novels for older girls?  Bells even admitted to being self-conscious about it when he realized one of the book's covers had a "sparkly tiger" on it. Bells: "Whatever.  There's action in 'em." Jeurge: "Some women like a little action with their romance." Me: "And some men like a little romance with their action."