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NEWS 585 - 55 Comments
From: Jackzilla Entered on: November 19, 2008 9:21 AM
I like how he further describes "Douche Nine" as "a primary metal of embryonic wankpuddery."
From: Ross Entered on: November 19, 2008 11:56 AM
Freaking hilarious.
From: RobotSpider Entered on: November 19, 2008 1:15 PM
Anyone want to go in on a case?
From: NickNick Entered on: November 19, 2008 1:23 PM
Douche Nine equals blatent rip off of Vonnegut's novel, Cat's Cradle, usage of Ice-9.  Who, by the way, is an author I highly recommend to anyone willing to listen.     What form of Douche are you, Bone?  ZINGER!!!
From: The Bone Entered on: November 19, 2008 1:44 PM
NickNick said: What form of Douche are you, Bone?  ZINGER!!! Can I get a list to choose from?
From: NickNick Entered on: November 19, 2008 2:05 PM
I didn't think it out that far.  It would appear that you might be able to get a measure of Douchiness from the book.  Like the Swerval Unit.... only for douchiness.
From: The Bone Entered on: November 19, 2008 2:35 PM
To me a douchebag is a guy that dresses all guido with bling and fancy cars and tries to impress women with money and muscles at trendy nightclubs. To be fair, I'm a bit more subtle. I don't brag, I don't wear bling, I don't have a flashy car and don't talk about how much money I have. I wear clothes that actually hide my build. I rely on my smile and good manners. I never approach girls with lines. I'll smile and say hi. If that doesn't work, I move on. I don't outright lie, though I do feign interest if I find them attractive and want to sleep with them. I may be called and asshole at times but not a douchebag.
From: NickNick Entered on: November 19, 2008 3:04 PM
And humble too.  Hey, this might be an extremely odd request, but I'm trying to do some research for further comics and is there any type of visual reference material for any of the fighting styles you practice??  I've got a good understanding of how the human body moves and contorts from my life drawing classes and can generally feel my way to the correct proportions but I think it would be awesome to have some images to refer to to speed along the process.
From: The Bone Entered on: November 19, 2008 7:57 PM
The armbar
From: The Bone Entered on: November 19, 2008 7:59 PM
Left high kick
From: The Bone Entered on: November 19, 2008 8:01 PM
Jumping head stomp
From: The Bone Entered on: November 19, 2008 8:03 PM
Triangle choke
From: The Bone Entered on: November 19, 2008 8:09 PM
The highly devastating clinch and knee
From: Jackzilla Entered on: November 19, 2008 9:58 PM
Pillow fight
From: NickNick Entered on: November 20, 2008 8:05 AM
Couldn't they all have been like the arm bar??  I like pillow fight, but I think it might need the Pedo Bear Seal of Approval. Man, I keep scrolling up to those two girls.... Work, Nicknick.  Focus.  Mmmmmmm, arm bar....
From: RobotSpider Entered on: November 20, 2008 8:07 AM
The Bone said: Can I get a list to choose from?  For the record, while we seem to disagree on almost every topic, I don't think you're a douche.  However, since you asked, I couldn't resist trying to come up with a name for your particular species in the genus douche. Given your description above, I would classify you as Sensi-stealth Douche.  You don't dress or act like a douche (stealth).  And you will use subtle influence to lure women into your... lair, but you won't use outright intimidation or tenacity to do so (sensitive). Nick, zingers are like jokes.  They work better when you don't have to point out what it is. Jack, can I get some wallets of that picture laminated?  Thanks.
From: NickNick Entered on: November 20, 2008 8:08 AM
The Bone said: Left high kick Is it just me or does this look like it hurts like a bitch. Why doesn't this guy (victim) just do the splits and punch the guy in the balls like Jean Claude Van Damme in Lionheart?
From: NickNick Entered on: November 20, 2008 8:17 AM
RobotSpider said: Nick, zingers are like jokes.  They work better when you don't have to point out what it is. Which is precisely why I printed it in big yellow letters. And also for the record, I don't think anyone on here is a douche or an asshole or a really nice person.  I don't know any of you well enough to say that, except for Rad, Zilla and Bells that is...... in that case, Bells, you're a douche. ZINGER!!!
From: RobotSpider Entered on: November 20, 2008 10:55 AM
NickNick said: Which is precisely why I printed it in big yellow letters. And also for the record, I don't think anyone on here is a douche or an asshole or a really nice person.  I don't know any of you well enough to say that, except for Rad, Zilla and Bells that is...... in that case, Bells, you're a douche. ZINGER!!! Well-played, sir :)
From: Bunky Entered on: November 20, 2008 12:09 PM
Jackzilla said: Pillow fight LOL!!
From: The Bone Entered on: November 20, 2008 4:28 PM
RS - what do we disagree on?
From: RobotSpider Entered on: November 21, 2008 2:53 PM
The Bone said: RS - what do we disagree on? It's never been confrontational, it just seems like we tend to have opposite (or very different) stances on a wide variety of topics.  I, like Swerb, definitely don't subscribe to the F-THE-BONE newsletter.
From: BigFatty Entered on: November 21, 2008 3:15 PM
Fatty is back.  Just last week I was explaining what a douchebag is to some friends here.  Now I see it on JA.  Pretty funny. I busted out laughing with Bone's 'educational' photos for N2.
From: The Bone Entered on: November 21, 2008 3:37 PM
RobotSpider said: The Bone said: RS - what do we disagree on? It's never been confrontational, it just seems like we tend to have opposite (or very different) stances on a wide variety of topics.  I, like Swerb, definitely don't subscribe to the F-THE-BONE newsletter. Well my main philosophy is kindness and consideration towards others. I think that human trafficking and human rights abuses are grievous crimes against humanity. I hate bullies and support the underdog. What kind of heinous person are you if you don't agree with that?
From: Jackzilla Entered on: November 21, 2008 4:01 PM
HA HA HA!
From: RobotSpider Entered on: November 24, 2008 7:21 AM
The Bone said: Well my main philosophy is kindness and consideration towards others. I think that human trafficking and human rights abuses are grievous crimes against humanity. I hate bullies and support the underdog. What kind of heinous person are you if you don't agree with that? I believe in market-based capitalism.  It's the American way.  If the market supports selling human-beings to buyers willing to pay full market value, then who am I to disagree?  What kind of country would this be if we let things like morals and ethics stand in the way of my right as an American to make a profit?  And if you support the underdog, that's ME!  You know how difficult it is to traffic in human-beings?  All those "laws" and "regulations" take almost all the profit out of it.  But again, it's the American way. If you're opposed to those things, you're opposed to the America that I know and love.  And I for one, will not sit here and listen to you denigrate the greatest country, nay, the greatest civilization in the history of mankind!
From: The Bone Entered on: November 24, 2008 8:21 AM
From: Ross Entered on: November 24, 2008 9:02 AM
Umm... is that what makes this country great?
From: Jackzilla Entered on: November 24, 2008 10:31 AM
Zinger!
From: RobotSpider Entered on: November 24, 2008 11:51 AM
I'm lost.  Are you saying I failed?  Or my post failed?  Or is that not related to the picture? ZINGER?
From: Jackzilla Entered on: November 24, 2008 12:16 PM
Don't be going cheese licker on the window bus, cracker!  Zinger!
From: The Bone Entered on: November 24, 2008 12:20 PM
I'm saying as a retort, your post failed. It's obvious you aren't really that seriously obnoxious. The magic about my particular brand of obnoxious is you are never really quite sure if I'm real or not.
From: NickNick Entered on: November 24, 2008 1:14 PM
I thought, maybe, that you just enjoyed looking at poop, Bone?
From: NickNick Entered on: November 24, 2008 1:16 PM
The Bone said: I'm saying as a retort, your post failed. It's obvious you aren't really that seriously obnoxious. The magic about my particular brand of obnoxious is you are never really quite sure if I'm real or not. OMG.  There are 2 intillectual gods on this site.  No wonder no one can get away with even a minutia of stupidity.  It's all so clear to me now.
From: The Bone Entered on: November 24, 2008 1:22 PM
Not even the mention of your spelling of intillectual (sic)?
From: Ross Entered on: November 24, 2008 1:47 PM
LOL for both Zilla and Bone!
From: NickNick Entered on: November 24, 2008 2:01 PM
What's wrong with my speling? What can I say, I went to Lowell.
From: Bunky Entered on: April 16, 2009 12:16 PM
You won't hear this on Foxnews! "It's hard to talk when you're teabagging." -- Anderson Cooper reacting to David Gergen's comment that the Republican party is "searching for their voice," which is why so many of them are pushing the ridiculousness of today's "Tea Day."
From: RobotSpider Entered on: April 16, 2009 2:12 PM
Something I've wondered about, and figure someone here has to know: Is the Teabagger the one with balls in their mouth?  Or does the Teabagger do the dippin'?
From: Ross Entered on: April 16, 2009 3:27 PM
I think it's a teabagger/teabaggee situation...
From: JayB Entered on: April 16, 2009 4:06 PM
Yah, I agree... and I bet Bunky can tell us what it's like to be a teabaggee.   She's seen many Jay Balls, Monkey Balls, and Roballs within the past few years.
From: Bunky Entered on: April 16, 2009 7:32 PM
Really Jay B? You hop on for this? I will be staying in your neighborhood 3 nights next week and seeing docs at your work! Don't make me come find you! And for the record, Monkey has no balls!
From: Bunky Entered on: April 16, 2009 7:40 PM
Sorry Ross, I know you hate dictionary references on the site. Robot, according to UrbanDictionary.com, here are a couple of the definitions. I think Anderson Cooper is exempt from the first one: 1. Teabagger   multiple meanings. 1) one who carries large bags of packaged tea for shipment. 2) a man that squats on top of a womens face and lowers his genitals into her mouth during sex, known as "teabagging" 3) one who has a job or talent that is low in social status 4) a person who is unaware that they have said or done something foolish, childlike, noobish, lame, or inconvenient. 5) also see "fagbag", "lamer", "noob"   4. Teabagger   An act which Anderson Cooper has admitted doing as shown in a recent viral video in which he states "It's hard to talk when you're teabagging" Anderson Cooper is a teabagger. He has his lovers scrotum stuffed in his mouth.
From: Ross Entered on: April 17, 2009 8:46 AM
Ha!  Well, I'm not sure what all that teaches us.  But I'll roll with it...
From: Bunky Entered on: April 17, 2009 9:24 AM
Last night, The Daily Show and Colbert Report were having some times with the whole teabagging affair... http://www.thedailyshow.com/video/index.jhtml?videoId=224275&title=nationwide-tax-protests
From: Ross Entered on: April 17, 2009 10:16 AM
Hilarous! And can someone explain this Tea party nonsense to me? They're protesting taxes?  Taxes that are now lower than probably EVER?  And calling the current administration fascist?  With a straight face, especially in light of the last 8 years?  What is this, bizarro world?
From: John Entered on: April 17, 2009 10:31 AM
I've been hearing fascist administration quite a bit lately and I don't get it either. I think it's a  bit more apt description of the Bush administration to agree with Bert. Maybe Bunky leans the other way but I'm not sure how.
From: Bunky Entered on: April 17, 2009 5:53 PM
I just put my butt up in the air and lean it towards the right....
From: John Entered on: April 18, 2009 11:39 AM
Bunky said: I just put my butt up in the air and lean it towards the right.... Ah, it all makes sense now, in a hernie kinda way.
From: Jackzilla Entered on: April 20, 2009 3:03 PM
Some visuals of the Tea Party Nonsense: Wow.
From: Jackzilla Entered on: April 20, 2009 3:05 PM
Oops!  I missed a classic one! It's offical!  You're an idiot!
From: The Bone Entered on: April 25, 2009 12:16 PM
I enjoy the irony in the last pic.
From: Ross Entered on: April 26, 2009 11:03 AM
Reminds me of this favorite of mine....
From: The Bone Entered on: April 26, 2009 1:21 PM
Ouch, that one is embarrassing for the home team.
From: RobotSpider Entered on: April 27, 2009 7:36 AM
I do love that one. I hope that guy appreciates that a lot of men died for his right to use the American flag to keep the sweat from his mullet out of his eyes.