Sites We Like

RealUltimatePower

Poop Report

Fat Chicks in Party Hats

Xbox-Scene

TechLore

NEWS 542 - 63 Comments
From: BigFatty Entered on: July 7, 2008 2:13 PM
Not the same color, and close to the year, here is a picture to inspire the memories:
From: Jackzilla Entered on: July 7, 2008 2:15 PM
Oh, I love these!  Ok, I'll begin...   It was a dark night and a sense of doom filled the air.  It was the kind of night where even the moon is afraid to show it's face.  Johnny was out cruising in his powder-blue Maverick, Chicken Sandwich in hand, when suddenly...
From: Jackzilla Entered on: July 7, 2008 2:18 PM
Not the same make or year, but the exact color, here is a picture to inspire the memories:
From: BigFatty Entered on: July 7, 2008 3:45 PM
HAHAHA - Shit, now that you mention it... it might have been a Dodge Duster!  C'mon, they are almost the same.  This is why we need to write it down now.  I have at least 2 stories to put in  .With a broken 360, unemployment, and chores to procrastinate on, Bells just might chime in.  At least verify the type of car!  I'm thinking Duster now... it looks just like the Maverick, but with a worse name.
From: Jackzilla Entered on: July 7, 2008 4:12 PM
Bells won't be chiming in anytime soon -- They left for a week to the Mayo Clinic in MN. Didn't Bells have a blue Huffy bicycle?  Are you sure the stories don't involve his bike?  Methinks your memory is going, Fats...
From: Ross Entered on: July 7, 2008 4:40 PM
No, Bells had a Dodge Dart if I recall:   There are many stories to tell, from me learning to drive in it in the cemetary at around age 14 after our paper routes, to Bone and Roche running over gravestones in the same cemetary (I think it was the same car), to Shemp and I getting tossed around in the trunk while Bells skidded out in the mud, to me clinging to the back of it while Bells whipped around a corner, throwing me off and headlong into a curb, causing me to get a few stitches in my brow.  Ah, good times...
From: BigFatty Entered on: July 7, 2008 5:06 PM
I'd better get these stories on fast then! My first memory of the Thunder tank was soon after Johnny got the car from a family friend (uncle??)  He took me across town to see my girlfriend, who also had a friend that Johnny was interested in.  It was the first time he had driven there and he was just starting to develop the 'nervous while driving in unknown places'.  On the way back, I'd assumed that Johnny knew how to go.  As our first turn quickly approached, it was apparent that I was wrong.  "Right here.......  Johnny, right here....."  "What?!? Here??  Shit!!!!!!" "Right.... Shit! No Johnny!!! No... Argggghhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!"  I braced myself by grabbing underneath the seat with one hand while pressing against the ceiling with the other.  The pale-blue beater of a car somehow took the hairpin corner, sideways.  The rear end leading the way.  I am not sure what was louder, the squealing tires, or the squealing pre-Fatty.  But, we came to a stop.  Johnny had narrowly missed the cars in the opposite direction.  The drivers staring at us dumbfounded.  We were sitting in the middle of the road, completely sideways, blocking the whole lane. Johnny was white knuckled and flustered.  Fatty was breathless and embarrassed.  He was quite aware of the spectacle that they just caused. "Goddamn it, shit!"  said Johnny.  "Just go!" yelled Fatty. In this flustered sense, Johnny took his foot off the brake and the car drove forward, right into a fire hydrant.  Lucky for us, it was only a bump.  But, it certainly added insult to injury to our teenage egos. "Reverse!" yelled Fatty.  "Goddamn it!" yelled Johnny. The 20 year-old jalopy backed up and burned out of there like no one's business.  The people at the corner still stunned at the sight bestowed upon their eyes.  This would be one of many stories in the Thunder Tank.
From: Swerb Entered on: July 7, 2008 5:19 PM
Jackzilla said: Johnny was out cruising in his powder-blue Maverick, Chicken Sandwich in hand, when suddenly... Hahahahahahahhhahahaahahhah!
From: Ross Entered on: July 7, 2008 5:41 PM
Swerb said: Jackzilla said: Johnny was out cruising in his powder-blue Maverick, Chicken Sandwich in hand, when suddenly... Hahahahahahahhhahahaahahhah! Is that a reference to the pulled-over-while-high Chicken Sandwich Incident?
From: BigFatty Entered on: July 9, 2008 4:56 PM
While re-reading some old Encyclopedia entries, I found an older verison of the Thundertank story.  Which, one, is remarkable in its accuracy to the one I just entered and two, confirms that Johnny had a Duster. Find the entry under my Holy Shit Batman! quote.
From: Bunky Entered on: July 9, 2008 5:34 PM
Okay, now I have to know how The Bone crashed into his own house.... To bad Bells is out for the week, I bet he would tell a sweet story.
From: John Entered on: July 10, 2008 7:01 PM
The car in question was indeed a 1973 Dodge Dart with the leaning tower of power (common moniker for it's slant 6 cylinder engine) and it was powder blue with a black racing stripe. It was bestowed upon me by my grandfather, free of cost. It was a bit rusty with holes in the floorboard giving a great view of the street. This came in handy for getting rid of garbage on the fly. The car's appearance gave way to comments from fellow teenagers like "nice car" to which I replied at least I have one. We had plenty of fun times as well as scary, Fatty's story is accurate. As for the time Bone crashed into his house I was fortunate enough to witness this event. I happend to be looking out the window when The Bone came flying down the street at an impressive speed for his K-car. In fact he was going too fast to stop and turn up his driveway so he passed it completely. He then threw the car in reverse and floored it backwards up his driveway over confident in his skills, which was usually the case, when he flew out of control and hit the house. Much to the Bone's chagrin he looked up to see me standing on the porch to witness his dad come out and demand the keys. Later that day the Bone was in his room, I suspect lamenting earlier events of the day, when his dad steped in. It was a warm day and his window was open so he could enjoy the breeze for which he would come to regret. As his dad came in the Bone was quick to tell him that he would pay for the damage to the house which his father replied "Boy, you couldn't afford a used fart if shit were a nickle a ton!". As if this wasn't bad enough Bone realized that with the window open there was a chance that the hottie next door overheard what his father so eloquently stated just previously. Bone was in luck or lack there of and hottie Emily Carl was in her room as he looked over, talk about adding salt to the wound.
From: Bunky Entered on: July 10, 2008 7:05 PM
Bells, you always have a sweet way of re-telling a story!
From: John Entered on: July 10, 2008 7:09 PM
Thanks, Bunky.
From: Bunky Entered on: July 10, 2008 8:48 PM
You are welcome. I was laughing my ass off at The Bone's expense! What kind of car was The Bone driving? I am not familiar with the term K-car.
From: Jackzilla Entered on: July 10, 2008 10:01 PM
Ahhh... the Chrysler Reliant "K-car"... that was my first car.  Basically a grey box on wheels, like so:
From: John Entered on: July 10, 2008 10:47 PM
One sweet ride, but who am I to talk when I was rolling in a Dart.
From: Ross Entered on: July 11, 2008 10:09 AM
I actually had a reliant station wagon when I was in high school, so there!
From: Jackzilla Entered on: July 11, 2008 10:14 AM
Okay, it's time for a poll! Everyone - How many cars have you had? Me (not counting my wife's vehicles):  Only 3!  Reliant -> Cavalier -> '93 Saturn
From: Radmobile Entered on: July 11, 2008 10:26 AM
Just one ... a '95 saturn SL1.  We're now aproaching 220,000 miles on it. I'd love a new one but I'm pretty content to not be paying anything for one so we'll see how long I ride it out.
From: Bunky Entered on: July 11, 2008 10:48 AM
VW Rabbit -> Honda CRX -> Mazda 626 -> Volvo V40 -> Volvo V70 The Rabbit was my first car. I got the CRX for graduation and kept it all through college.  The last job I was at for 10 years, required you to use your own car for work, and they reimbursed you mileage. That sucked! I was putting about 30k a year on my cars.
From: Ross Entered on: July 11, 2008 11:09 AM
In high school, I was supplied with beaters from my parents.  Originally, I started out with a Plymouth Volare (or Volare Testarossa, as Swerb liked to call it - ask for him to tell the  curb hopping story sometime, or Roche to tell the Gas Station Incident).  Then I moved on to the Dodge Aries Station wagon (the Dodge version of the Reliant).  It wasn't until college that I got the first car of my own, a Ford Tempo.  Unfortunately, it got a bit cracked up right after I bought it, on the way home from Swerb's house - some dumb chick swiped me and the car never was right from then on.  But I drove it until after graduating, then I got a Honda Civic, which was a manual transmission that I didn't know how to drive.  I kept that until 2003, when I bought the now-Swerbmobile, the Acura RSX.  Now I merely occasionally drive our family Honda Pilot but I haven't driven a car to work for ages so it's mostly for weekends and trips out of town. So I guess it goes: Plymouth Volare -> Dodge Aries -> Ford Tempo -> Honda Civic -> Acura RSX -> Honda Pilot
From: NickNick Entered on: July 11, 2008 12:17 PM
OK.  Let's see if I can remember correctly.  There's my version of the tank, which I crashed twice in the 6 months after moy license and somehow managed to keep my license.  Especially considering both were blatently my fault.   1978 Cutlas Sierra --->  1982 Cutlass Supreme -------> (yr?) 3 cylinder Roller Skate, I mean Fiesta.  (That's right boys and girls.  I could walk that little red death trap up to a whopping 60 mph before topping out.) ------> (yr?) Geo Tracker (Ask Rad about transporting a giant beanbag to my apartment in that Tracker) ---------> 1992 Ford Tempo -----------> 1992 Saturn, slightly different color than Rad's 180k miles on it.  Those Saturns are awesome cars!!
From: Radmobile Entered on: July 11, 2008 12:57 PM
Ah yes the bean bag.  We both had to put our seats as far forward as they would go, our faces pretty much on the glass.  The rear hatch barely closed.  There was no visibility behind us except this huge green blob trying to devour us.  I imagine we looked pretty cool to everyone around.
From: BigFatty Entered on: July 11, 2008 1:06 PM
Good lord... this might take a while.... 1980 Mazda GLC 4 door, 1982 Mazda GLC hatch, 1984 GLC 4 Door (Fatty's Pimpmobile), 1981 Honda 400C, 1982 Mazda 626, 1985 Honda Shadow 500, 1977 Jeep CJ7, 1985 Jeep CJ7, 1984 Mazda B2000 truck, 1984 Mazda 626T, 1989 Honda Rebel 450, 1976 Yamaha 650, 1993 Maxda MX6, 1989 Honda Civic Si, 1996 Honda CBR 600, 1994 Yamaha FZR 600, 2003 Mazda B2300 truck, (2) 1980 Yamaha Chappies, 1966 Honda 160, 2004 Kawasaki Concours, 1996 Mazda Miata, 2006 Hyundai Elantra.  Of course some were owned at the same time.  The Jeeps were co-owned with Creeko.  The maximum number I owned at one time was 5. Yea... like you read the complete list.  Some of the dates are a little off.  Fatty note: Most of these vechicles were sold for the same, but mostly more, for what I paid.  One was a lease, and one one or two I lost a little money... very little. Fatty wheels, Fatty deals! I must admit, the Saturn cars are pretty impressive with the examples of what we show here.
From: BigFatty Entered on: July 11, 2008 1:15 PM
The bean bad story is nothing!  The Honda Civic went to Chi-town for an Ikea trip.  Fatty got a little carried away to outfit his new condo.  There was only room for one - the driver.  We even made great use of the roof and bought the Ikea roof system - Roofenholm.  Fatty felt bad for his overpurchasing and realized that he had to let Ross drive his car home while Fatty crouched under the mass of boxes, on the floor of the backseat.  It was a uncomfortable ride on the way back to Ross' pad.  It was so crazy, Ross had to take a photo taken of this poor Civic.  The photo has since been lost.
From: John Entered on: July 11, 2008 3:08 PM
Let me give it a try, 1973 Dodge Dart, 1986 Chevy Celebrity was my Dad's friends but I drove it like my own, 1984 black Kit look-a-like Trans Am, 1988 Oldsmobile Toranado, 1992 Chevy Camaro brand new at the time, 1991 Pontiac of some sort, 1998 Chrysler Town and Country, 2001 Kia Rio, 2004 Kia Sedona. I think that's about it.
From: Ross Entered on: July 11, 2008 3:24 PM
BigFatty said:  It was a uncomfortable ride on the way back to Ross' pad.  It was so crazy, Ross had to take a photo taken of this poor Civic.  The photo has since been lost.  Incorrect!  The photo:
From: BigFatty Entered on: July 11, 2008 3:44 PM
Sweet!  If anyone could still dig up the pic, it would be Ross!  Those boxes in the front seat are large shelving units (2) that I built a room divider out of.  The entire inside is filled with Ikea loot and the excess went on the top. That Civic is certainly one of my favorite cars.  It was fun to drive and extremely functional.  I could go to Home Depot and buy a 10 foot piece of lumber and fit the entire piece in my car.  The same piece would be sticking out 2-4 feet off the back of a full-size pickup. Side note... I am pathetic.  The shirt in pic and the pants are still in my daily wardrobe.  The shirt is even dated 1998 and was from my old company, Steelcase.  The pants were bought for the Costa Rica trip. Fatty's trip to the US will include some shopping Fo Sho!!
From: Ross Entered on: July 11, 2008 3:53 PM
I still wear my shorts that I bought for the Costa Rica trip.  My favorite shorts, in fact.  They also could be configured as full length pants.
From: BigFatty Entered on: July 11, 2008 4:10 PM
Isn't the fashion cycle 20 years?  If we wait long enough, we will be fashionable again.  Speaking of fashion... Wasn't Bells the owner of a Micheal Jackson zipper jacket?  I know he had parachute pants.  I just remember him back in the days with a lot of zippers.  He had some Air Jordans too, correct???  Bells - The 80s fashion poster child.
From: John Entered on: July 11, 2008 4:54 PM
Wow Fatty, who say's you don't have a good memory? All of the above is 100% true, and the sad thing was I thought I was sweet. The Air Jordans were actually sweet and very comfortable. As for the rest, full turd style.
From: The Bone Entered on: July 11, 2008 4:59 PM
I have fond memories of the Aries-K. For such a piece of shit car, it held up remarkably well to the abuse I heaped upon it. From crashing into my house, to knocking over tombstones, off-roading, and an assortment of wild ass driving stunts. Bells, remember the time I was explaining how I violently manuvered my car to avoid crashing into another and then demonstrated it exactly? We were flying down dry pavement completely out of control on a residential street.   But of course the best ever was when we got super drunk and I was spinning 360's with Fatty's car in his residential complex on the ice. I have no fucking idea how we failed to crash into other cars or houses for that matter. That was some sweet ass stunt driving.
From: John Entered on: July 11, 2008 6:02 PM
We had some fun jackass times back in the day. I do remember all those times but the drunken 360's had to be the best. We had a fuck load of fun that night and we were both drunk off our asses. How you managed to do no real damage that night is beyond me. There was some crazy stunt driving but the funniest shit was what Fatty would have thought if he saw what your drunk ass was doing in his car. You used to love to fuck with the Fatty. Like the time you put his motorcycle helmet on and wouldn't tell Fatty one way or another. Fatty was pissed because wearing his helmet, accourding to him anyway, would ruin it. Fatty kept asking you if you put it on and you'd reply with "maybe I did, maybe I didn't, I guess you'll never know. Wow, Fatty got pissed, much to your delight. I can't remember for sure but this might have prompted your Hercules comment, Bone. Then there was the infamous Bone, Bells spy mission that had us on Fatty's roof while he tried to seduce some young hottie. You called out Fatty's love moves before they happend and we cracked up at his failed attempts. When Fatty discovered us up there, "and a couple of assholes on my roof", it was a little awkward. It got much worse when Fatty tried to punch the Bone through the screen window. Bone wanted to crash into Fatty's house and whup that ass but I was able to deter him. Even though the Bone was full drunk Fatty would have been in deep do-do had he went in after him. Ah, the good ol days.
From: Ross Entered on: July 12, 2008 9:19 AM
"Love moves"!  I love it!
From: Bunky Entered on: July 12, 2008 10:16 AM
So what are Fatty's failed love moves? I think I need some more details Bell's style...
From: BigFatty Entered on: July 12, 2008 11:06 AM
If you are with Fatty and you hear Sade...... watch out!  Love is coming your way....
From: John Entered on: July 12, 2008 11:25 AM
Fatty's failed love moves included,Sade's This is no ordinary love, then Fatty tried to close the gap only to be rejected. The funny part is when Fatty headed over to the stereo the Bone called out the artist and song before Fatty even got there. When the song began to play and I realized Bone had hit the nail on the head I cracked the fuck up. Lucky for me Fatty had the music loud enough not to hear me. Bone and I continued to spy by hanging partly over the side of the roof and watch as young hottie rebuffed Fatty's advances. After a while Fatty gave up and escorted hottie out of the house. As they were saying their goodbyes, Fatty looked up to notice 2 assholes on his roof which he so aptly stated. Fatty was livid,needless to say,thus commencing the events I described earlier. Fatty was pretty pissed but we made up fast and I even went with him to buy a replacement screen for the one he punched out the very next day. Fatty was a little slower to forgive the Bone who made some hilarious remark that has since been forgotten. The remark was the impetus for the screen punching incident, too bad it's been lost forever. The Bone himself can't even remember what he said but in all fairness he was drunk as fuck, and I think Fatty blocked it out.
From: John Entered on: July 12, 2008 12:24 PM
Ross said: Swerb said: Jackzilla said: Johnny was out cruising in his powder-blue Maverick, Chicken Sandwich in hand, when suddenly... Hahahahahahahhhahahaahahhah! Is that a reference to the pulled-over-while-high Chicken Sandwich Incident? This brings to mind a whole other story which is better told in person but I'll do my best. The core JA's already know this one so it's mostly for Bunky. I was hanging out with my friend Ranard, aka Big daddy Jones, a 6'4" 285 pound black dude, hence the moniker. We drank copious amounts of beer and smoked a bit of weed when the inevitable munchies set in. I made a run down to Burger King and picked up a chicken sandwich to satiate my hunger. On the way back I got pulled over for expired plates. When the cop came to the window I knew I was in deep shit because I could smell my own weed, there was a bag under my seat. The officer took my info back to his car and in the mean time my biggest concern was if I'm going to jail I better finish this chicken sandwich first. When he came back to my car he said my plates had only expired a few day ago and he would let me off with a warning. He ask if I still lived just around the corner to which I replied, yes. He said he better not see me back out on the road tonight which I took to mean he knew I was drunk and high. He followed me home and parked out on the street to make sure I didn't go anywhere. I was supposed to go over to Melissa's that night so I called to tell her I couldn't make it and why. This was the first summer we were together and she knew she had found a winner. I had been to jail before and was familiar with it's appointments so my bed never felt so good. Ah, the summer of 1994, good times. BTW, same summer as the Bell's, Bone spy mission.
From: Ross Entered on: July 12, 2008 12:47 PM
Bells, I think your transcribed retelling is every bit as hilarious as the live version.  Well done!
From: John Entered on: July 12, 2008 2:03 PM
Thanks Bert, it's kinda fun to retell the sweet stories from our youth. I'm glad Fatty started this thread.
From: BigFatty Entered on: July 14, 2008 3:18 PM
With all this time on your hands Bellsey, it would be great if you could write about Bone and his youthful exploits. Bone and his streaking through your apartment complex and returning to a locked door.. Bone and the 'weight tied to my crank' experiment Bone and the 'I'll casually walk past my window nude so Emily Karl can see... oops I popped a boner' incident You and Bones exploits in the graveyard... getting poison ivy at the airport (which later him and I had to share a bed together in Canada - which is a whole other story in itself where the Bone soon despised Fatty's admittedly crappy driving style)... Bone's Michigan State adventure, leaving you, I and Ranard - hating Bone's early powers Bone and the 'I think I'll jump off the top of the garage' Bone's weakness for Cherries...  (This one was when he was young... he climbed up into a tree and ate cherries until he puked.  Then ate some more.  Later, in Hawaii, he was driving home from the store with some fresh cherries.  He could not resist again, and started stuffing his hole.  Unfortunately for the Bone, he hit a major traffic jam and the cherries worked their magic.  He had to shit, nowhere to go.... and all he had was the bag the cherries came in....) Good lord, there are SO many Bone stories that are not captured, it is crazy.  Bone tells most of his 'good' stories in person, so it never gets put in here. Bells, you are the resident Bone expert.  Please lend your expertise.
From: NickNick Entered on: July 14, 2008 3:46 PM
Bells' stories are so much better in person as well.  Perhaps Bells and the Bone could start a video blog?  :)
From: Ross Entered on: July 14, 2008 4:02 PM
BigFatty said: Bone and his streaking through your apartment complex and returning to a locked door.. I'm not sure that even I have heard that one!
From: BigFatty Entered on: July 14, 2008 4:24 PM
Surely you have!  This was at the Danbury Palace.  I believe Bone was talking about trying it for some reason.  Roche then dared Bone to do this.  After some negotiation on what Bone needed to do, it was decided that Bone would run full-nude, down Roche's corridor, up the stairs, back across the upper corridor, down the stairs, and back to the Roche pad. Off he went.  Roche will have to tell the details, but, it involves Bone almost getting caught, then returning to Roche's pad to find the door locked.  Why this scenario did not occur to him is beyond me.  Who would not lock a naked Bone outside??  After a few paniced moments, the Bone was let in and ran throught the house into the bedroom to the delight of Roche's sister, Rat. A Roche retelling is well worth it.  Some of the details he can add are priceless.  For some strange reason, I think this moment was alcohol free - but that goes against logic.  Bone and Roche where always drinking at Danbury.
From: The Bone Entered on: July 15, 2008 12:56 AM
BigFatty said: ... getting poison ivy at the airport (which later him and I had to share a bed together in Canada - which is a whole other story in itself where the Bone soon despised Fatty's admittedly crappy driving style)... Dude that ride back from Canada tested our friendship. First of all we were fucking tired from whatever it was we were doing there - wedding I think.  As we were approaching the border control agent, I specifically told you to keep our story simple - we went to a wedding, nothing more.  I've been through enough borders to know what to say to get through without delay. Instead, Fatty says we went to a wedding and a few seconds later says we were sightseeing. Perfectly reasonable but totally uneccessary and it leads the border agent to ask a series of questions which fluster Fatty and spirals almost out of control. Finally he lets us through but I'm perterbed. Then Fatty proceeds to set the cruise control  just slightly faster than the flow of traffic. He drives in the right lane until he get right on a car's ass and hits the breaks before doing a lane change. He must have done this 20 times before I lost my mind. Despite the fact that I wanted to kill Fatty, our friendship endured and now it's a fond memory.
From: Bunky Entered on: July 15, 2008 2:09 AM
Is this where you "captured" the photo for your money clip Fatty?
From: NickNick Entered on: July 15, 2008 8:23 AM
Bunky.  Do you always have "Penis on your Mind?"  Sung to the tune of Georgia on my Mind.
From: Bunky Entered on: July 15, 2008 10:08 AM
Okay Nick Nick, I do not want to have to bring up your recent posts and link them, but if you look back, there are multiple references the the crank!  I do believe, in the last fews weeks, you have been suffering from some OCD (Obsseive Crank Disorder). I am not the one with the "How to draw a crank with crayons" book. My post mentioned nothing of the crank. Fatty could have many photos in his money clip. Did I ask, "Is this where you "captured" the photo for your crank photo holder. You may want to work out some of these frustrations Nick Nick. You know, give the clown a good punching.... You may just wanna go full Barnum and Baileys with it.
From: John Entered on: July 15, 2008 10:38 AM
Bunky said: Okay Nick Nick, I do not want to have to bring up your recent posts and link them, but if you look back, there are multiple references the the crank! I do believe, in the last fews weeks, you have been suffering from some OCD (Obsseive Crank Disorder). I am not the one with the "How to draw a crank with crayons" book. My post mentioned nothing of the crank. Fatty could have many photos in his money clip. Did I ask, "Is this where you "captured" the photo for your crank photo holder. You may want to work out some of these frustrations Nick Nick. You know, give the clown a good punching.... You may just wanna go full Barnum and Baileys with it. HAHA, to the whole thing. You got burned, NickNick.
From: Radmobile Entered on: July 15, 2008 11:00 AM
It took me a while to make sense of the Barnum & Bailey's reference.  I'm a bit slow, I know.  My initial thought was that you were talking about Bartles & Jaymes.  I was like, "What does masturbation have to do with wine coolers from the 80's?"
From: Bunky Entered on: July 15, 2008 11:14 AM
I can show you sometime if you like. I think there is still time before January!
From: NickNick Entered on: July 15, 2008 11:53 AM
Ahhhh!!  There it is!!  Did you see it?  Another sex reference by Bunky.  I'm not crazy, I tell ya.  I'm not crazy!! I need my pills. Oh and Bunks.  If punching the clown was all it took to work out your frustrations then I would be so relaxed, I'd be in a coma.
From: Ross Entered on: July 15, 2008 12:10 PM
Bartles and Jaymes!  I love it!  I think I'm going to ask for one next time I'm in a bar.
From: BigFatty Entered on: July 15, 2008 2:08 PM
The Canada trip is a distant memory to me as well.  But, a fond one.  Fatty full admits to the sheer crappiness of his driving style.  It was my first long road trip, in the first decent car that Fatty owned - a 1984 Mazda 626 Touring Sedan.  Part of the Brotherhood (cuz Creeko, Bone, and I all owned one at the same time).  So, to the single-minded Fatty, setting the Cruise Control meant set it, and forget it.  I am on Cruise Control, get the F out of my way!  Well, most cars on the road did not realize this, so Fatty waited in vain for them to get out of the way, then slammed on the brakes when they didn't.  Bone could only bear this crappiness so long!  It was a long and sweating train ride for sure.  No A/C was the other issue on that hot summer day. Which brought us to the Border Guard.  Yes, the Bone warned me on what to do.  But, at this time, Fatty was not too keen on listening to the Bone anymore.  Plus, I was suddenly taken aback at the rudeness of the Border Guard.  What, I am an American damn it!  Where is my customer service??  So, yes, I did get a little flustered by their assholiness.  But, keep in mind that no matter what I said, we were under suspicion anyway..... two young 20 somethings, shirtless, with one in the passenger seat looking very perturbed at being stopped.  It is not all Fatty's fault! We had a theme song for the trip too.  We must have listened to Sting's 'Fields of Gold' about 200 times.  To this day, if one of us hums a few notes, we will both chime in at 'Upon the fields of barley'. The hotel was Fatty's nightmare.  We were too young and poor to get our own rooms, so the two of us and another couple shared a room.  It was 2 double beds.  The aspect of sharing a bed with Bone was not too pleasant.  Then I discovered he had a rotten case of poison ivy.  The nasty hotel floor was not an option, so we devised an arrangement with sheet layering so we would not come in contact with one another. Please don't think that Fatty is the only nincompoop at travel.  I will find the detail of Bone and Fatty in Mexico, where the Bone's weakness for tasty food caused the two of us to walk 5 miles in the hot Mexican sun because Bone spent our bus fare.  At least Bone got a mild case of sun poisoning for this.
From: BigFatty Entered on: July 15, 2008 2:16 PM
Oh... and Rad likes to Bartle his Jaymes.  Fatty has a few shots in him and likes that expression.  Do the even make that anymore??  I don't recall seeing nor hearing it.  It used to have a billion commercials.
From: Bunky Entered on: July 16, 2008 11:58 AM
I saw B & J at the store last night. The last time I had B &  J was in high school when they used to make the peach flavor in the 2 liters. I recall tossing up the 2 liter in a friend's 3 day old brand new BMW M3. The car was a stick and he was a terrible driver.... So Rad, I checked the labels and they currently do not offer a White Chocolate cooler!
From: Radmobile Entered on: July 16, 2008 12:25 PM
Thanks for checking at least Bunky.  I wasn't sure they still made the stuff.  Not that I've ever had it.  I was a Zima drinker for my early high school forays into the world of alcohol.  I threw up in my friends basement on the floor I was sleeping on, which was pretty gross but at least it wasn't a new BMW.
From: Bunky Entered on: July 16, 2008 1:17 PM
I remember Zima. You would add the cherry grenadine and it was a like a barbied up Shirley Temple! The best part about the BMW incident is that he is now a Gastroenterologist and I have to call on him for work. Luckily it has yet to come in conversation!
From: BigFatty Entered on: July 16, 2008 2:04 PM
Looks like your up-chucking inspired him to wonder what more wonderful things were inside the Bunkster..... I always wondered how doctors pick their speciality.  What makes a guy say.... I want to specialize in old peoples feet, or asses, etc.... To me, all guys would specalize in hot-women care... boob jobs and young-gyno work.
From: Bunky Entered on: July 16, 2008 3:21 PM
I ask that question alot. Some pick specialities based on minimal on-call, a lot choose their speciality because they had a great teacher during rotations. GI's get to do alot of procedures, which makes it a profitable speciality. I have noticed cultural patterns in certain specialities. I am not sure why that is. The BMW driver's mom is an Internist. She worked alot, so there were many parties at their house. I can assure you if it was an automatic, I would not have vomitted. I get car sick occasion, and the constant jerking motion switching gears did not help. My husband would pick Plastic Surgery and everyone would come out with tots twice the size they requested.
From: BigFatty Entered on: July 16, 2008 6:17 PM
MMMMMMmmmmmmm.... tater tots....................
From: NickNick Entered on: July 17, 2008 7:36 AM
I will never understand the "attraction" that a gyno can hold for guys.  What better way to ruin the mystical seuxuality of a woman than to shove your face into their crotch for business.  Especially when there's something wrong with it. It's like people thinking that life drawing a nude woman can be sexy.  I always hated the "could you stand up, or did you have to sit down to hide it," comment.  It's like drawing a chair.  Your drawing a representation of an object.  OBGYN's don't do anything remotely close to something attractive in my book. Don't get me started on plastic surgeons.