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NEWS 532 - 63 Comments
From: NickNick Entered on: June 3, 2008 7:31 AM
Holy crap.  That's scary.  Maybe the dude had played GTA prior to getting into a car and wanted to see if it worked in real life. My wife's aunt and uncle were hit by a car while they were biking up in the U.P. a few years ago.  The driver leaned down to get her pack of cigarettes and plowed through them, much like this picture.  Killed her aunt.  No charges were filed on the driver. This asshole should be beaten to death by the deflated tires of the bikes he hit.
From: Ross Entered on: June 3, 2008 8:40 AM
That's nuts.  I hope they lock that fucker up and throw away the key.
From: RobotSpider Entered on: June 3, 2008 9:14 AM
Ross said: That's nuts. I hope they lock that fucker up and throw away the key. I don't want to perpetuate a stereotype, but seeing as how it's Mexico, and given the rampant corruption throughout the government, law enforcement, the military, etc. in Mexico, I'd be willing to bet we'll never hear anything else about this.  Providing the guy has some money or connections.  Personally, I think he should be strapped to a Soyuz during re-entry. Douche-bag.
From: Bunky Entered on: June 3, 2008 10:42 AM
Robot, Jack will have that effect on you.  There will be times when out of nowhere, I hear him yelling "LOOOOOOOOOOCUSTS"!!! Lock him up? Ross, that is far too kind... No, you make him stand in the middle of the road where he ran the bikers down, facing the car that is about to run him down. If the driver doesn't kill him on the first pass, he needs to slap that bitch in reverse and finish him off.
From: RobotSpider Entered on: June 3, 2008 1:05 PM
On the up side, you know that guy in the green and white jersey is thinking "Dude, I can hit White Castle (Castle Blanco?) and still win this fucker! SWEET!"
From: BigFatty Entered on: June 4, 2008 3:48 PM
I know Ross will enjoy this one... it is a video of some Russian guy losing it at work.  The site is marked Safe for Work... but I would not necessarily go there.  All the boobies are gone, but it still has that inappropriate look and feel to it :) The Office: Russia
From: Ross Entered on: June 4, 2008 8:18 PM
Jesus Christ!  What has to go wrong in your life to cause that kind of a reaction at work?  I can't even imagine!  I've gotten into arguments plenty of times, and raised my voice even (hard to believe, I know), and since I work with Hirsch, I've even almost come to blows with him (far away from witnesses, but still at work).  But I could never imagine someone going absolutely apeshit like that in an office. I love how the security guard is completely ineffectual.  He tries to wrestle with the guy, but then apparently suffers a minor head injury and stumbles away.  What a puss.  Fire him immediately. I also love that the second video, taken by the cowering simp around the corner, also manages to capture yet another coward who is also taking video on his phone.  Classy! Lastly, I love that apparently everyone in Russia is a huge pussy and won't try to save their coworkers from a raging lunatic, even after he clobbers a woman with a CRT monitor!
From: The Bone Entered on: June 7, 2008 2:57 PM
THat was a very entertainging video. I wish something like that would happen at my work. It's be time for some Jiu Jitsu.
From: BigFatty Entered on: June 7, 2008 4:23 PM
Jiu Jitsu would be the best strategy.  If this happened at your work, and one of your long-time colleagues flipped out, it would be very difficult.  If the guy was a total stranger, then a beat-down license would be issued.  But, a close colleague...  then you would need to choke him out to calm him down. Still all the Mo'Fos in the video pussed out.  Once the monitor was thrown at the girl, it should have been all hands grab the crazy puke.  Jeez, how many guys there huddled in the corner doing nothing?? The multiple POV video footage was nice.
From: The Bone Entered on: June 7, 2008 5:37 PM
I'd only consider pussing out if he were a buttoned down Oxford cloth psycho that could probably snap at any moment and stalk from office to office with an Armalite AR-10 carbine gas-operated semi-automatic, pumping round after round into colleagues and coworkers.
From: Jackzilla Entered on: June 7, 2008 5:40 PM
Exactly what I was thinking, Bone.
From: Bunky Entered on: June 7, 2008 6:20 PM
Bone, do you have any videos of you engaged in combat training that you could post? Preferably in uniform if that is an option... If not, some home videos of a beach volleyball or a half court basketball game will do for now.....
From: Jackzilla Entered on: June 8, 2008 1:29 PM
Nothing gets Bunky herny like seeing a car plow through a mob of Mexicans, it would seem.
From: Bunky Entered on: June 8, 2008 3:01 PM
Sorry Mexicans!
From: Jackzilla Entered on: June 8, 2008 4:25 PM
You must be a Republican!
From: Bunky Entered on: June 8, 2008 6:51 PM
Jack, as a Republican, I think it's terrible that an American hit a group of Mexican nationals south of the border.
From: RobotSpider Entered on: June 9, 2008 4:34 AM
Boy, few things will take the wind out of a good office-tantrum like being foiled by a cubical partition.  About 1 minute in, he's trying to kick through the partition and it folds faster than a Chinese laundry (yes, offensive, and very funny).  I think our species has had to work amongst these corporate habitrails so long that we've actually given them more credit for their durability than they're worth.  Anyone who's tried to put a 22 inch CRT on a shelf in one can tell you they won't really hold up.  So this douche, sorry, douche-ovski thinks he can do some damage.  When it collapses, there are just a few seconds where he's flopping around like a fish.  In that moment, he loses all his cool. Like, imagine you hear Jack's cackle.  If it's directed at someone else, you can't help but laugh.  If it's directed at you, you can't help but cry.  It can make you feel 100 feet tall, or like some COG just sawed you in half after humping the nuts off you and then finishing with a nice cedar-wrapped Marcusnudo brand smoke-tag.  Now, imagine he threw a big *SNORT* right in the middle.  Ah, the spell is broken and now HE'S the asshole again.  If you're gonna do something like that, it is imperative that you maintain your cool: Hard targets only. Once you've got the axe (the tool, not the body-spray for 14 year old boys), you gotta do the windows, walls, doors and filing cabinets.  I can't stress that enough people.  They are metal!  Plus they're heavy as shit.  You want something with resistance.  Try cutting down a clothesline full of underpants and t-shirts.  Can't be done, and you'll look like Wile E. Coyote in the process. Sorry, I blacked out for most of this post... what was I saying? ~~~~ Jack, of course Bunky thinks it's terrible.  Now he'll be subject to Mexico's laws.  If only he'd have done it in Texas where the fine would only be...  well... I don't know, does Texas have a penalty for hitting a John Deere with your car?  Whatever that fine is...
From: Jackzilla Entered on: June 9, 2008 9:15 AM
HA HA HA!!!
From: Bunky Entered on: June 9, 2008 9:16 AM
Robot, I love me some Texas! Can you say Capital Punishment? They have the highest number of executions of any state. Texas is no bullshit. They don't waste millions of dollars a year protecting inmates by housing them in solitary confinment in San Quentin, and spend obscene amounts of state and federal money year after year dragging out appeals like California. I believe more inimates die on death row in CA than actually go to death row... Hey Jack, check your XBOX! I think Monkey sent you something as a peace offering for Saturday night Unfortunately, I think he forgot to include Robot on the distribution list....
From: Radmobile Entered on: June 9, 2008 9:20 AM
It's true.  Jack's cackle can certainly have an effect on how much I feel like playing sometimes.  If I'm not on Jack's team it's not as much fun.  I don't mind losing so much until I have to hear about how shitty it is from Jack.
From: Bunky Entered on: June 9, 2008 9:31 AM
I love hearing Jack's cackle when I am on the opposite team! You guys are looking at this all wrong! It is so much sweeter after hearing the Jackophony, to serve Jack a helping of his own brand of justice, only to be followed by the sound of silence.... One round of that, and I can lose the rest of the night! I got mine!
From: BigFatty Entered on: June 9, 2008 11:02 AM
RobotSpider said: Boy, few things will take the wind out of a good office-tantrum like being foiled by a cubical partition. About 1 minute in, he's trying to kick through the partition and it folds faster than a Chinese laundry (yes, offensive, and very funny). I think our species has had to work amongst these corporate habitrails so long that we've actually given them more credit for their durability than they're worth. Anyone who's tried to put a 22 inch CRT on a shelf in one can tell you they won't really hold up. How dare you Spider!  And you come from Grand Rapids??  Have you heard of a little office furniture company called Steelcase?  Emphasis on Steel!  Whatever lame-ass companies you used to work for should have bought Steelcase cubicle walls.  These are made with steel-welded frame which would hold much more than a computer monitor (it you are using them correctly).  Granted, the centers were fiberglass... but the frames were the most important! (Cue patriotic music... I'm proud to be an American...) I personally welded thousands of these frames when I worked in the steel factory and I stand by the quality and strength of this product.  You certainly must have had issues with foriegn panels - so please don't lump in the ones I made.  Buy quality, buy American, buy Steelcase (Now made in Mexico). So Bunky.. more Fatty fuel for your Hernie Machine.  Fatty was a welder in a steel factory for 2 years.  Picture me wearing a bandana on my head, white t-shirt with blue jeans, working a large industrial welder.  With each weld, showers of sparks cascaded around me causing my sweaty biceps to glisten in the sparkling light.
From: Bunky Entered on: June 9, 2008 11:10 AM
Fatty, can you provide any photo evidence? It is obvious to me now the Bone can't back up his claims beyond words, but I am sure you are more man that... Bring on the photos! Oh, I had the pleasure of late night gaming with Creeko. I was very kind as I am saving all my tricks for you and your XBOX!
From: BigFatty Entered on: June 9, 2008 12:24 PM
Ask and ye shall receive!
From: Bunky Entered on: June 9, 2008 12:47 PM
You sure know how to please a woman Fatty! I will be thinking of you later doing the "Flashdance" for me, water and all!
From: Bunky Entered on: June 9, 2008 11:14 PM
Zilla, how did you like your gift from Monkey? I thought it was pretty sweet! You will have to share that with Bells. Did it make Edge herny? Maybe you can have it enlarged into a big cardboard cutout to boost shirt sales at the store...
From: Swerb Entered on: June 10, 2008 4:30 AM
RobotSpider said: Sorry, I blacked out for most of this post... what was I saying? ~~~~   Apparently, the guy in the video was playing out a RobotSpider fantasy. BTW, this is the funniest post I've read in weeks...
From: Bunky Entered on: June 10, 2008 8:39 AM
Swerb, this RobotSpider guy is pretty funny... Where did you find you him? Any Hulk updates?
From: Swerb Entered on: June 11, 2008 5:06 PM
Hulk is pretty good, actually. Far more satisfying than the last Hulk... there's some funny stuff in it, and lots of action, even though it's mostly merely acceptable CGI. I had fun watching it, which validates it for me. And correction: RobotSpider found me in a dorm room, growing out my mullet...
From: Jackzilla Entered on: June 11, 2008 5:55 PM
Swerb - Doesn't The Happening open up too?  Have you seen that yet?  I've liked all of M Night's movies besides that God-awful last one (The Stank In The Water).
From: Swerb Entered on: June 11, 2008 9:13 PM
Jackzilla said: Swerb - Doesn't The Happening open up too? Have you seen that yet? I've liked all of M Night's movies besides that God-awful last one (The Stank In The Water). Yeah, it opens Friday, but I didn't get to review it for various sundry and boring reasons. But yeah, I feel the same about Shyamalan... I'm glad I'm not the only one who sorta liked The Village... just don't mention Signs around Bert too much, or he'll get all riled up! I'll probably see The Happening in the next week or two when I get time. I have to say the trailer looks relatively intriguing, but one of my sources says the movie starts off well, then stinks up the joint by the end. We'll see...
From: Bunky Entered on: June 11, 2008 10:59 PM
So Swerb, when you were growing the mullet, what hairdo was the RobotSpider rockin'? Any do you have any photographic evidence of this?
From: Bunky Entered on: June 12, 2008 9:16 AM
Ross, do you have a fan on your 360? If not, it may be a bit warm when you get back to it. It has been running continuously for 3 days, unless you just are lost driving around Liberty City. If that's the case, we can have Rad send Anneburgler out to find you....
From: Ross Entered on: June 12, 2008 10:20 AM
You're right, I'm on vacation now, and I realized shortly after I left that I had left it on!  I'm hoping it doesn't overheat, or worse yet, burn down my house.  I'll be back tomorrow afternoon, though.  Keep an eye on it for me! :)
From: Bunky Entered on: June 12, 2008 10:23 AM
I was wondering what you were doing on GTA 4. I signed on last night when I got back in town and it said you were away since 6/10. I guess if it shuts off today, I can assume your house burnt down :( I'm sure your house is fine, however, it's the three rings that would suck! Did you go anywhere fun?
From: Ross Entered on: June 12, 2008 10:54 AM
I'm out at a cabin in Wisconsin with some of Heather's family.  All you do around here is fish, for the most part.  But storms are starting up right about now so I'm cooped up in the cabin.  Luckily the owner has wi-fi beaming out of his garage and I get a decent signal.
From: BigFatty Entered on: June 12, 2008 11:05 AM
You must have scheduled your vacation for last week and changed it, since JA went down then.  Otherwise, I don't believe you are currently on vacation.  JA immediately shuts down the minute Ross leaves out the door on vacation.
From: RobotSpider Entered on: June 16, 2008 8:00 AM
BigFatty said: How dare you Spider! And you come from Grand Rapids?? Have you heard of a little office furniture company called Steelcase? Emphasis on Steel! Whatever lame-ass companies you used to work for should have bought Steelcase cubicle walls. These are made with steel-welded frame which would hold much more than a computer monitor (it you are using them correctly). Granted, the centers were fiberglass... but the frames were the most important! (Cue patriotic music... I'm proud to be an American...) ... Well, you're half-right.  I may be from Grand Rapids, but I worked in Holland.  All the cube walls were American-made, right across the street (literally) at Herman Miller.  As far as durability goes, they would get a 6 (out of a possible 12).  The ability to trap and recirculate dust and mold, however, gets a perfect 12/12.  In fairness, I can't speak to Steelcase's quality.  I hope to one day work for a company that can afford to pay for that American work ethic that American labor groups are always telling us is so great :)  The only reason we could afford the HM stuff is because it was refurb'd, circa ~1978.
From: Ross Entered on: June 17, 2008 10:46 AM
Saw the Incredible Hulk last night - I enjoyed it much more than I thought I would.  It was leaps and bounds (no pun intended) better than the first one, IMO.  Ed Norton was a great Banner, and it had a much better comic booky/old TV show feel to it, even though the CGI was a bit poor at times.  I give it the thumbs. As for the Stankening, I feel vindicated when I say that M. Night Shamalama has long ago jumped the shark and Signs was the beginning of the end.  There is no fucking way I would see this movie.  Swerb, where's the review?
From: RobotSpider Entered on: June 20, 2008 5:02 AM
I haven't seen The Happening yet, but I do love the genre (pandemic + (death + zombies) = fun).  It's unfortunate that it has to have a not-very-subtle environmental slant to it.  I'm not anti-environment, but I do think the movement hurts itself by trying to shoe-horn its way into every corner of daily life just to tell us we're "doing it wrong".  It's like listening to people talk about the 'obesity epidemic'.  Really?  I have social anxiety and hate being in crowds because of some dicks in sixth grade calling me fat, and now I can't listen to NPR for 10 minutes without some government-funded study telling me how much I'm costing the American healthcare system? Wow, that post went a little Family Guy on me there.  I started out with a point about the movie...  don't remember what it was.  /shrug. In closing, let me add, "Vote Quimby".
From: Swerb Entered on: June 25, 2008 8:22 PM
The Happening: Sucks balls. 90 minutes of trite-ass tripe bullshit. I fully expected it to suck, but it was one of the suckiest sucks that ever sucked. Others warned me not to see it, but my morbid curiosity resulted in twisted logic: I had to see it just to see why I shouldn't see it. It makes no sense, is inanely written and acted and is entirely dead in the water from the first five minutes. A group of teenagers in the theater ridiculed it the whole time. Next: WALL-E. Bells is nonplussed by the gorgeous animation in the trailers - he thinks it looks "boring." I saw it, and thought it was a masterpiece. Enough so Stacy and I are planning to see it again on Friday. Anybody who likes science fiction will appreciate it even more. Finally, Hancock: Good first half, pure crap second half. Zilla and I agree on that point - I noticed the cacklin' Jackophony ceased after about 45 minutes. Bells, however, liked it because it was "different." My reply: Different in that it blows, unlike Spider-Man or X-Men or Iron Man or the new Hulk? I found it dramatically inert, cheesy and completely arbitrary in its storytelling. I give it the thumbs.
From: Bunky Entered on: June 25, 2008 8:42 PM
When do you get to be Swerb Sweet with the Dark Knight?
From: Swerb Entered on: June 25, 2008 10:25 PM
No Swerb Sweet report on Batman for a couple weeks, methinks. Might as well be a couple years...
From: John Entered on: June 26, 2008 7:21 AM
Swerb said:t: WALL-E. Bells is nonplussed by the gorgeous animation in the trailers - he thinks it looks "boring." I saw it, and thought it was a masterpiece. Enough so Stacy and I are planning to see it again on Friday. Anybody who likes science fiction will appreciate it even more. Finally, Hancock: Good first half, pure crap second half. Zilla and I agree on that point - I noticed the cacklin' Jackophony ceased after about 45 minutes. Bells, however, liked it because it was "different." My reply: Different in that it blows, unlike Spider-Man or X-Men or Iron Man or the new Hulk? I found it dramatically inert, cheesy and completely arbitrary in its storytelling. I give it the thumbs.    Wow, that was harsh. Can't the Bells like something without the shitty retort? One could say the same for Nacho Crappy as well, different in that it blows. As for WALL-E, I'll give it a chance.
From: Radmobile Entered on: June 26, 2008 8:15 AM
At the risk of having my movie tastes called into question I'm gonna go ahead and say I liked Nacho Libre.  I've actually watched it a few times, with it becoming more entertaining each time.  Wonder and I both like it actually and sometimes go arround quoting it.
From: John Entered on: June 26, 2008 9:17 AM
Radmobile said: At the risk of having my movie tastes called into question I'm gonna go ahead and say I liked Nacho Libre. I've actually watched it a few times, with it becoming more entertaining each time. Wonder and I both like it actually and sometimes go arround quoting it.   I don't know, it was pretty stupid. My wife full hated it and Zilla wouldn't even give it a chance based on the previews alone. I did laugh at some parts but overall it was a shitfest.
From: Radmobile Entered on: June 26, 2008 9:46 AM
Well, I won't deny the stupidity of it.  But it was apparently my kind of stupid.
From: John Entered on: June 26, 2008 9:56 AM
Just like Hancock was my kind of stank. I admit the first part of the movie was better than the second part but I still enjoyed it.
From: NickNick Entered on: June 26, 2008 10:31 AM
I'll let you all know what I think of these movies once i view them on DVD from netflix.
From: Ross Entered on: June 26, 2008 2:38 PM
Waitaminute... is Hancock even out?  Or is Swerb Sweetness spreading to other Jackholes?
From: John Entered on: June 26, 2008 3:47 PM
Actually Zilla had the free passes that got us in.
From: Jackzilla Entered on: June 26, 2008 4:09 PM
The free passes were handed out Sunday during the concert at the Reedy Pavillion. And I'm in agreement with Swerb on Hancock:  Fun first half, lousy/lame/WTF second half.
From: Swerb Entered on: June 26, 2008 9:47 PM
John said: Wow, that was harsh. Can't the Bells like something without the shitty retort? One could say the same for Nacho Crappy as well, different in that it blows. As for WALL-E, I'll give it a chance. Sorry, didn't intend the harsh tone. My point: the Bells Opinion stands contrary to the rest, not that that's necessarily a bad thing. And yes, I recognize that Nacho Libre was dumb, but I laughed at it anyway.
From: John Entered on: June 27, 2008 8:30 AM
No problem, Swerb. I'm going to see WALL-E tonight and hopefully I'll share your opinion on this one.
From: John Entered on: June 28, 2008 3:09 PM
Well, I saw WALL-E and it was just ok. Not a bad movie by any means however it felt longer than it's hour and 37 min run time.  I was amused during some parts but bored during others. Melissa was on the same page as me so I wasn't alone. In fact Alex my stepson sent me a txt with a similar review. I know it's getting wonderful reviews but for me it was just ok. I have to go by the level of enjoyment I get out of a movie and while the animation was awesome that just isn't enough for me to go crazy for a film. The story was cute but I wasn't nearly as amused as say Zilla was by it. Sorry, I just couldn't get it all the way up for this one and gets a semi hard review from me, oops wrong genre........
From: Ross Entered on: June 28, 2008 4:40 PM
I'll be seeing it on Monday so I'll let you know the correct review then.
From: Swerb Entered on: June 28, 2008 10:30 PM
I'm glad you're seeing WALL-E, Bert... I'm really interested in your take on it. I think it's a full-blown classic. Stacy and I went to see it again Friday night, because we couldn't wait to see it again. I'll wait until you see it to discuss specific points, but I think the first 30-40 minutes of it is simply amazing, for many, many reasons...
From: NickNick Entered on: June 30, 2008 8:38 AM
I think Megan and I might actually try and bring Hunter along to see this movie.  I'm not sure if she'll shut-up long enough to hear the movie or not, but it sounds like it might be worth the risk.  That last sentance sounded a bit harsh.  My daughter does stop talking sometimes.  She has to breathe and sleep, you know. On a slightly different note.  How are all the babies coming along.  Reese, 11 months, is still very content to just sit there and let the world come to her.  She will occassionally roll over, but she seems to have a minimalist approach to life right now.  Oh, and she just might be the first human being I've encountered that's more stubborn than me.
From: Swerb Entered on: July 4, 2008 9:35 PM
Bert, did you ever see WALL-E? Just curious what your reaction was...
From: Ross Entered on: July 5, 2008 7:53 AM
It got postponed until this coming Monday.  I'll let you know as soon as I see it.
From: NickNick Entered on: July 7, 2008 7:54 AM
Megan and I took Hunter to see Wall-E this weekend.  It was a very good film, on many levels.  The most important, of course, is that Hunter sat enthralled by the entire movie.  There were a few sad moments where she buried her face in Megan's shoulder and would glance at the screen, eyes glimmering. I truly enjoyed the movie.  I think it was well done and had a good message.  I can also see parts where people might have problems with the movie but those were actually some of my favorite scenes.  To quote Zilla, "I sat through the whole movie with a smile on my face." On a completely unrelated note: for some reason, I want to type movile everytime I type movie.  I don't understand.
From: NickNick Entered on: July 9, 2009 10:50 PM
All right you bastards.  I just watched Hancock tonight.  What the hell was your problem with the last half of the movie?  The fact that it didn't explain everything to you and just left it up to you to guess what they were??  That's what made it good.  I really enjoyed the movie.  Maybe that's thanks to all your shitty reviews of it.  :)
From: Ross Entered on: July 10, 2009 1:16 PM
Their shitty reviews also lowered my expectations enough to enjoy the film more.  I actually thought the idea of him being a god and having forgotten about it to be pretty clever.  It had some stanky moments to be sure and I do seem to recall something stanky about the ending (but have forgotten most of it) but overall it kept me reasonably entertained.