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NEWS 530 - 21 Comments
From: Ross Entered on: May 22, 2008 7:09 AM
That is pretty freaking sweet.  Where did you find this?
From: Jackzilla Entered on: May 22, 2008 10:49 AM
Ah yes... let me explain the O story: About three months ago I started receiving "O" magazine at the store.  Initially I thought maybe my mom gave Angie a gift subscription or something but I asked her and she knew nothing about it.  It's annoying too, because these things are HUGE!  Once a month my small mailbox is crammed full with this obnoxious, Sears-Catalog-sized monstrosity of a periodical!  And then I'll bring it in, set it on the counter and undoubtably it will sit there til some customer spots it and is immediately impressed with my macho reading materials. Well, the mystery was finally solved the other night when Monkey T (like Bunky, part of the Live West Coast Crew) asks about my O subscription.  By the way, the "T" in "Monkey T" stands for "whore"... I forgot to mention that.  Anyways, my O's were the result of some Monkey T shanigans. I forget why we were talking about Oprah originally... I think I said something about her having to wear gloves when she eats Tootsie Rolls else she'd accidently eat a finger. Anyways... I hope it's only a 12-month subscription -- My poor mailbox can hardly stand it!
From: Bunky Entered on: May 22, 2008 11:26 AM
Zilla, don't lie, you love you some Oprah. He loves the O centerfold for his "me" times.
From: Jackzilla Entered on: May 22, 2008 11:59 AM
O? NO!
From: Bunky Entered on: May 22, 2008 12:03 PM
Your mind may say "O No!" But your crank is saying "O Yeah, put your big Oprah butt up in the air!"
From: BigFatty Entered on: May 27, 2008 6:06 PM
This will get Jack all herny (I like the spelling of hernie though).  I just watched a South Park episode from season 10 involving Oprah's minge.  Her minge was mad because Oprah was working too much and not paying her minge any attention.  It could not get a rub, not even a pinky!  Anyways, it started talking to her asshole.  Its name was Gary.  Good Lord I was laughing at that.
From: Bunky Entered on: May 27, 2008 7:04 PM
If we could only mail her minge to Rookies with the magazine.... I will have to go www.allsp.com and check it out!
From: BigFatty Entered on: May 28, 2008 4:37 PM
This morning I was still laughing about that SP episode 10x05 - A Million Little Fibers.  To have Oprah's minge all pissed off about not getting enough attention, then having her asshole chime in with the same complaint.  Next thing you know the story is about them!  The asshole is named Gary for christ's sake and he speaks with an Irish accent.  Good lord...  he keeps referring to the minge as 'Mingey'.  The story is a little 'Of Mice and Men'-ish but the Irish asshole is evil genius. It probably will not be as funny for you, but you should watch it when you can.  Those SP guys are amazingly funny.  Cartman is a masterpiece of comedy.
From: Bunky Entered on: May 28, 2008 5:08 PM
You could have warned me that there was a gun involved! Towelie is pretty sweet! I like how her "Minge" has a british male voice! "A minge knows a towel when they hear one"
From: BigFatty Entered on: May 28, 2008 11:18 PM
I did like Towelie too.  He is what the Bone wishes to aspire to.
From: Jackzilla Entered on: June 10, 2008 12:53 PM
Oh boy!  I got my latest issue of "O" magazine in today!  I forgot to mention how nice these things smell!  I think its attracting fruit flies...
From: Bunky Entered on: June 10, 2008 2:04 PM
Did you rub one out behind the counter to the June O centerfold?
From: Ross Entered on: June 12, 2009 9:42 AM
I'm sure I've railed against Oprah here on the site before, but has everyone heard about the fact that Newsweek (who I normally lump in with craptastic media) took her to task recently?  It was awesome.  A good site I read called SkepDic had this gem of a blurb about her: In Oprah's world, vaccines don't prevent children from suffering, they cause autism. In Oprah's world, you can cure cancer with happy thoughts. In Oprah's world, Suzanne Somers and Jenny McCarthy are medical experts. In Oprah's world, Rhonda Byrne and Marianne Williamson are philosophers. In Oprah's world, injecting hormones will keep you forever young. In Oprah's world, the HPV vaccine kills people. In Oprah's world, cancer-causing sexually transmitted diseases can be prevented by eating healthy foods. In Oprah's world, thyroid dysfunction is an energy blockage caused by "a lifetime of 'swallowing' words one is aching to say." In Oprah's world, if you're hypothyroid you should take iodine supplements and drink soy milk. In Oprah's world, all you need for a quick face-lift without having to worry about side-effects is a needle and thread, or radio waves. In Oprah's world, psychics who claim to get messages from the dead are not exploiting grieving people, they are helping them through the grieving process. In Oprah's world, feelings always trump reason, intuition always trumps science, and hope always trumps fact. In Oprah's world, wishful thinking is considered science. In Oprah's world, if you want to be thin and healthy, all you have to do is hang around thin, healthy people. If that doesn't work, and it obviously doesn't, try regular exercise and eating sensibly. If that doesn't work, sit on the couch and watch Oprah. Wait until she brings on an expert who will explain why her world of magical thinking is so appealing to millions of her fans. You may not end up healthy, but I guarantee that you will end up very thin.
From: Jackzilla Entered on: June 12, 2009 10:30 AM
From: Ross Entered on: June 12, 2009 11:31 AM
From: BigFatty Entered on: June 12, 2009 12:11 PM
That is also the size of the burger I ate last night.  How did Oprah know!!??!!
From: NickNick Entered on: June 12, 2009 6:38 PM
Do you ever think there will be a time when people actually think for themselves????  Everyone's all excited about Obama but they're still not thinking for themselves.  Or Dr. Phil or whoever the latest and greatest is.  How the hell did we ever survive evolution with such sheepish tendancies bred into us??
From: Ross Entered on: June 12, 2009 11:02 PM
Umm, Nick, what in the above post would lead any of us to believe that you are thinking for yourself?  That just sounds like a generic old man contrarian rant to me.
From: Jackzilla Entered on: June 13, 2009 11:56 AM
NickNick said: Do you ever think there will be a time when people actually think for themselves????  Everyone's all excited about Obama but they're still not thinking for themselves.  Or Dr. Phil or whoever the latest and greatest is.  How the hell did we ever survive evolution with such sheepish tendancies bred into us?? Er mer gerd!  Indeed!  How did we ever survive evolution?!  That was a close one!
From: RobotSpider Entered on: June 16, 2009 11:27 AM
Jackzilla said: Er mer gerd!  Indeed!  How did we ever survive evolution?!  That was a close one! Who said we survived it?  The game's not over yet!
From: NickNick Entered on: June 19, 2009 1:16 PM
Ross said: Umm, Nick, what in the above post would lead any of us to believe that you are thinking for yourself?  That just sounds like a generic old man contrarian rant to me. There isn't anything that would lead you to believe that I am thinking for myself.  And yes it does sound sound like an old man rant.  I normally label myself that and fall into the grumpy old man stereotype.  On that note.  I don't see why being a grumpy old man is any indication that you are or are not thinking for yourself.  I think the only thing it points to is that I don't have a legitimate argument to stand on other than my blatent irritation with the lemming like quality of people. And to beat you to your counterpoint, Ross.  Yes, I do follow my own Anti-lemming like pattern in regards to present trends. so I'm not nearly as different than the general populace as I would like to believe, other than I'm polarized to the current trends.