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NEWS 49 - 13 Comments
From: Ross Entered on: June 10, 2003 4:02 PM
All I know is that I'm hoping and praying that your official title will be "Cheese Cutter." My dream conversation at a cocktail party with some random person:     "And what do you do for a living, Mr. Roche?"   "I cut the cheese."   "<sniff> Hmm.. yes, I can see that. But what is your occupation?"   "I cut the cheese."   "Yes, obviously, and you're quite adept. But what do you DO?"   "I just cut it! That's all!"   "I'm not interested in your gastronomic condition, sir."   "Fine, then quit asking me!"   "Just a simple question, sheesh..."   "...and I answered it, goddammit! I cut the cheese! Do you hear that, everybody? I CUT THE CHEESE FOR TEN HOURS STRAIGHT EVERY WEEKEND!"   <everyone bursts into uncontrollable laughter>
From: The Bone Entered on: June 10, 2003 5:12 PM
Or another version of the conversation:     "Freer sheer, Freer sheer?"   "That's what I said"   "Freer sheer, Freer sheer?"   "That's what I said"
From: The Bone Entered on: June 10, 2003 5:15 PM
I'm not cutting or anything but I can't wait to find out about all the equipment and processes involved in cheese manufacturing. Parallels can be drawn from the K-Machine, panomat, slurry.     On a much more somber note. I once met a guy who's arm was caught in a cheese auger and torn off.
From: John Entered on: June 10, 2003 5:40 PM
I'll try not to get my arm torn off in a cheese auger. When I start this weekend I'll be sure to enter the cheese making terminology as I learn it. I'm sure there will be some amusing ones.
From: Ross Entered on: June 10, 2003 5:58 PM
Funny you should use "Freer sheer", I almost used it in my original version of that conversation.
From: John Entered on: June 11, 2003 4:02 PM
Well boys, I start at the cheese factory tonight. They told me I should have no problem picking up an extra day during the week. So it looks like I'll be working 3 days a week or so. Not to bad, I'll get 30 hours a week in.     Anyway, wish me luck guy's. I'm going to need it if i'm going to cut the cheese!
From: Swerb Entered on: June 11, 2003 11:53 PM
Well, I don't mean to bag on Roche - congrats on your employment - but I really must call a stop to the cheese-cutting jokes now. Mark my words, such hardy-hars will soon be as fresh as brie smells. I place all the pressure on Roche to come up with some sweet verbiage that will forever be (cheese) logged into our our vocabulary.     Yeah, there's a pun in the above comment... get 'em out of your systems now... actually, that may be a new definition:     Cheese-logging: Launching a turd after an excruciating bout with constipation (the definition works well if it's caused by eating too much cheese, but can be applied nonetheless).
From: Ross Entered on: June 12, 2003 7:44 AM
You're going to feel pretty dumb if his job turns out to be cheese cutting, my friend.
From: BigFatty Entered on: June 12, 2003 9:27 AM
Congrats on the new job. I'll have to admit, you working in a cheese factory is pretty damn funny. This is going to change all of our lives drastically. Cheese will become a mainstay in our lives. It will be discussed and understood often. Processes, techniques, theories of cheese will be imparted to strangers as casual conversation.     Johnny could also be a curd-cutter too.
From: Ross Entered on: June 12, 2003 11:25 AM
When John begins running the show over there he will have to respond to what some crazy Canadian dude was telling me about how Americans don't even have real cheese, and how in Canada, they have stricter rules for what can be called cheese. He kept going on and on about the fat content has to be higher in Canadian cheese. Well then I'm glad I'm eating the American version - note I'm not saying American Cheese, as that shit really is disgusting.
From: Creeko Entered on: June 13, 2003 3:06 AM
You can go on all you like about American and Canadian cheese, but the fact is, Europe has the best cheese you could ever dream of!   Of course, one must developed a finer taste for such delicacies. I?d even go on to say that if I were limited to only three things to eat, they would be bread, cheese and wine. No, none of that Wonder Bread crap with Kraft Singles. I?m talkin? about fresh French baguettes and any half-decent European cheese (no processed slices please).   I invite anyone to come over and experience the good life (culinarily speeking). Will's gonna be here next week, I'll do my best to keep him out of Burger King and show him one of the reasons I decided to move to Spain.
From: Jackzilla Entered on: June 13, 2003 9:26 AM
Don't those crazy fucks in Spain eat cheese with worms in it?
From: Ross Entered on: June 13, 2003 10:01 AM
I thought that was tequila. No, the crazy fucks in Spain play chicken with horned animals 10 times their weight. Not the brightest bulbs on the tree over there.