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NEWS 390 - 37 Comments
From: Ross Entered on: December 24, 2006 10:30 AM
Was there a cherry on top, too?  Any turkey-making suggestions that you didn't use?
From: Jackzilla Entered on: December 24, 2006 12:46 PM
Fatty - Did it have that lemony fresh taste your chicken usually has?  It ain't a BigFatty Bird unless it tastes like Pledge (TM)! And what about the gravy?  GRAVY IS LIFE! One more thing... Merry Christmas, the shitter's full!
From: The Bone Entered on: December 24, 2006 4:01 PM
What about adding some squash Nate style? Or perhaps peanut butter. I think the bacon strips were a bit over the top. You might as well marinate it in Wesson. By the way, I have a turkey in my freezer that I had intended to cook last Thanksgiving over a year ago. Think it's still good?   Tonight I'm going to some Polish friend's house to celebrate in the traditional style of polka and vodka.
From: BigFatty Entered on: December 24, 2006 4:28 PM
I prefer vodka and poke her... HAHAHAHAHA Funny you should mention my lemon chicken....  Since I am doing nothing over here, I've been watching a lot of cooking shows.... and getting inspired.  I made an Indian Lemon Rice that is superb!!  I am becoming quite the chef.  My favs are the rice, a chicken curry, and a stuffed bread with meats and cheeses.  I am getting hungary thinking about it.....  The turkey was something Swerb would appreciate.  Mmmmm bacon.  You would not imagine how many ways there are to cook a turkey!!!!   The cherry makes a nice garnish!
From: The Bone Entered on: December 24, 2006 5:12 PM
Fatty, only women eat chicken. Men eat fucking steak.
From: Swerb Entered on: December 24, 2006 9:31 PM
God dammit Fatty, I'm flying you over here so you can make me that turkey. That's fucking insane. But you should have stuffed the turkey inside a... um... a bear! Yeah, a bear carcass! Now that would be good eatin'!
From: Crockett Entered on: December 25, 2006 11:16 PM
Merry Christmas, Everyone!!
From: Jackzilla Entered on: December 31, 2006 2:08 PM
Happy New Year, Mutha-Shittahs
From: The Bone Entered on: January 1, 2007 5:42 PM
So my goals for 2007 are: Physical: get a blue belt in Brazilian Jiu Jitsu, freedive to 100 ft on a single breath, and run the Honolulu marathon. Educational: finish my Joint Professional Military Education course (some bullshit that's required to make Admiral) and learn Italian. Financial: Buy a house, create and adhere to a budget.  And finally, I would like to make an effort to be more social - attend charity benefits, participate in after-work events, and other social gatherings.
From: Ross Entered on: January 1, 2007 6:20 PM
Bone, that's a lot of shit for one year.  Me, I'll be happy if I manage to stay alive for another year.
From: The Bone Entered on: January 1, 2007 10:13 PM
Mans gotta improve. Otherwise it's all downhill. Upon retrospect, I should have worked hard in high school and went to Harvard. Instead I skipped school and drank beers with Johnny. I guess I'm a late bloomer but I really try to be a little sweeter each year.
From: BigFatty Entered on: January 2, 2007 3:31 AM
I am with Ross - I'd just like to make it through the year without croaking.  Working hard and all that shit to be sweeter is bullshit, unless it all makes you happy.  I have a few things I'd like to do this year so far.  One, get a job.  Two, write a book (It is almost finished already.  Its a childrens book if you must know).  Three, Complete one to two items on my things to do before I die list.  I actually wrote one out a few weeks ago.  I am that bored!  It is interesting looking at that list and actually planning to do most of the items.  Some of the things I'll need to do soon - before kids and old age - like the Inca Trail - the hike to Machu Picchu.  Other things can wait until after old age has set in - Seeing the Great Wall and the Pyrimids.   Seeing my list in its entirerity makes me realize that I will need some decent income.  So that is also on my agenda this year - get some income property in Budapest.  I might post my list on JA if it is of any interest to anyone.  If you sods do the same, I am sure we will have mutual items of interest.  We can then plan on completing some items together.  We would have more of a chance to do those things then.
From: BigFatty Entered on: January 2, 2007 7:04 AM
I hope your holiday did not end like this guy's.  I love this video AND it is safe for work. http://www.shooshtime.com/clips/video.php?id=11869
From: BigFatty Entered on: January 2, 2007 10:19 AM
Yes, I am home all day playing on the internet now.  Here, as promised, my first turkey! The Before: Turkey After: The Master Carving - MMMMmmmmm Turkey with bacon.....   And here is me with Sandra, Melinda's hot and still single sister working on the other goodies! Remember, Fatty is one Smooth MoFo!
From: The Bone Entered on: January 2, 2007 6:47 PM
Does Sandra like to get down? By the way, is there and pork meat in those strips of fat you call bacon?
From: Ross Entered on: January 2, 2007 9:05 PM
I agree, a fella has to improve.  HOwever, I prefer to do it on my own schedule and not let silly traditions like New Years resolutions dictate when I should do it.   That said, I could use a kick in the pants.  I'm out of shape and feeling rather lazy lately.  I pretty much have few redeeming qualities these days.  But I know that eventually I will disgust myself and get on the right track.  First step: fewer beers.
From: The Bone Entered on: January 2, 2007 10:13 PM
I hate New Years resolutions because it implies that you've been fucking away the past year and you think that the new one will somehow make you change. Notice I said goals for 2007 because without goals in any area of life, you end up spinning your wheels and making progress in a hit or miss fashion. I did a lot of shit in 2006 but I think I'm going to start writing down new goals each year as I grow. By the way, I already built a sweet income/budget tracker on a monthly basis for the entire year - one of my financial goals. I'm getting rich biatch.
From: Ross Entered on: January 3, 2007 7:50 AM
Yes, I agree that writing down - or at least carefully articulating - your goals makes you far likelier to succeed.  As for getting rich, I have a similar goal except it ends with me blowing most of it on a new house in a couple years.  I don't do anything elaborate though, I just set aside about 30% of my take home pay into a separate account and do some rather "safe" investing as I'll need the money in a relatively short period of time.   And believe it or not, I'm basically not allowed to trade stocks, working for an investment bank.  Also any extra money I come by (mainly in the form of my yearly bonus) goes into that account.  But it's easy when you have some intended use for the money and you have a target.   But I'm terrible at managing my money - Heather is really good, though, and I need to turn the books over to her if I want to have a shot at keeping my head above water once I have a gigantic house payment. Bone what form does your tracker take?  Spreadsheet?
From: The Bone Entered on: January 3, 2007 9:16 AM
Yeah, I pulled this one  from the net and modified it. I built tabs for every month. I projected my pay increase in August when I put on LCDR.  I added in every fixed cost I had and projected them throughout the year. I ballparked that my variable costs would be around $1400/month for food, entertainment and incidentals. At the end of the month I'll go through all my bank statements and adjust that.  I too am buying a house next month. I'm looking at $450 - $550k for my first home ever. Now that I'm using the spreadsheet I can't believe how I bumbled through financial life without it.
From: Jackzilla Entered on: January 3, 2007 10:52 AM
So this thing still isn't Fatty Fornication Proof?  GOOD LORD!
From: BigFatty Entered on: January 3, 2007 11:52 AM
I think Ross has 'off-shored' some of the programming and help support.  Last time I called the help desk, I could not understand 'Dave' through his thick Indian accent.  Plus, I keep getting mysterious emails telling me that eating beef is wrong - cows are sacred.
From: BigFatty Entered on: January 3, 2007 12:20 PM
Back to the Excel Budgeting - GOOD LORD!  Really, you guys need that thing?  I used to have Quicken and then MS Money.  I kept careful track of every time, every transaction.  It was bullshit!  You can have this fancy budget, but it all comes down to how good you stick to your forecasts.  I can hardly see Bone keeping every restaurant receipt and grocery receipt, then adding them up to get an accurate account of the month.  In the begining, you are just guessing what you are spending.  They reality is you guys buy too much shite!  Both of you have had comfortable jobs for some time with quite a bit of discresionary income.  You've hardly had to think about buying shite - if you wanted it you bought it.  I was the same way for a while.  The good thing about the both of you is you are both excellent savers with sweet 'pay yourself first' attitudes. Here is Fatty's proven financial savings plan - Don't Buy SHIT!  And when you do, make sure it is absolutely necessary - like food.  Then make sure you are getting reasonable value - like grocery shopping instead of restaurants.   Bone - you are semi sweet when it comes to minimalism except you keep buying shit and throwing other shit away!  You throw away perfectly good stuff to make way for new stuff.  Ross, you seem to have an abundance of enterainment goodies, just to have them  - DVDs.  You 'borrow' them and still go out and buy them.  Ok there is some moral aspect to that - but you know what I mean. If you have not checked out INGs Orange and HSBCs Internet savings accounts, they are well worth it.  They are no risk, 2 day access to your cash with rates at what 4-5%.  You keep your existing banks checking account too. You don't think I know what I am talking about?  I've been unemployed for about 3/12 years total now and in that time I've made all my housepayments, car payments, and any of that other crap.  Plus, you might have remembered me traveling and living in Europe too - oh, and paying cash for a car when I returned.  Never, have I dipped into my retirement funds - but I did not fund them during that time.  Plus I never made more than $50G a year and only for 1 year at that! So screw your silly Excel Budget - it may be a fun time waster.  You just got to stop spending money whenever you can. Jack - can I get a witness!!!!! Look for part 2 in the Fatty Money Series were Fatty talks about assets making you money..
From: The Bone Entered on: January 3, 2007 2:37 PM
Jack, I have the same problem that you have but I figured Fatty's way around it in short order. I'm smart as a motherfucker you know. Fatt, I'm not frugal by nature and I realy haven't had to watch my money. But now, if I want to buy a half million dollar house, I'm going to have to tighten it up a bit. The Speadsheet is 90 percent complete. All I have to do now is check my credit card and bank statement online at the end of each month and calculate how much and what I spent. I did it for Dec as a dry run and it took me 15 minutes. Then I can see if I'm over or under my forecast and wither tighten it up the following month or splurge more. Do you think IBM or Microsoft don't keep account of their money?
From: BigFatty Entered on: January 3, 2007 5:28 PM
That was my point, you never have been frugal, so I can see why this is going to be a difficult exercise for you.  Ok, Budgets are fine to see what you are spending on what.  Looking at your listed item - $1400 for food, entertainment and incidentals per month.  Hmmmmmm, maybe if we cut down on the whores and Thai Lady Boys on entertainment and think about switching brands of your man creams.  Sauve lotion (I like cocobutter) only costs $1.99 a bottle compared to the $100 or so you spent on your mysterious collection of metrosexual snake oils.  Also, stop thinking of shopping at the mall as entertainment as well.  In fact, stop going to the mall - you are far to impulsive. $1400 is crazy to spent a month on shite.  Get it down to a more normal $500 a month and I just saved you $900!  Entertainment????  Nigga, you got cable!
From: Ross Entered on: January 3, 2007 5:37 PM
Yes, I was going to say, Bone and Fatty figured it out but the Zilla falls short.  No matter, I'll have it fixed shortly.
From: Creeko Entered on: January 3, 2007 6:49 PM
Creeko's financial advice... Marry a girl with a rich Father. I make less a month than Bone spends on food, entertainment and incidentals and I support a family of three.  I got me a house, 2 cars and still have a lil' sumpin left over at the end of the month. Who needs a half million dollar house anyway?
From: Ross Entered on: January 3, 2007 6:53 PM
404 Error Fixed.  One small omission in a configuration file that was never put to the test until now, apparently. Anyway, as for the budget thing, I agree with Bone.  I have gotten along fine up until now without a budget.  I've tried  using Money/Quicken in the past and as everyone agrees (except Heather, apparently) it's bullshit. It's all about adjusting your lifestyle to get in line with your goals.  No reason to forgo what makes you happy unless it's going to make you happier in the long run to forgo it.   So if that means going out to eat less often (my latest credit card bill is nothing to sneeze at in this respect) then that's cool - but to never do it?  That's just plain Fatty Frugality and as such that's never made much sense to me. By the way, my E-Trade Savings account is 5.05%, beyotch!
From: The Bone Entered on: January 3, 2007 8:24 PM
Fatty Frugality would be the death of me. If I rolled that way, my soul would be crushed. I'd end up getting fat, out of shape, and probably have to grow a trimmed metrosexual beard. Instead, I live as much like a high roller as my means allow - carefully balancing my needs and wants.
From: Crockett Entered on: January 3, 2007 10:03 PM
BigFatty said: I hope your holiday did not end like this guy's.  I love this video AND it is safe for work. http://www.shooshtime.com/clips/video.php?id=11869 This is hilarious. A man's worst nightmare. Even though the video was safe for work, the bare titties on the webpage the link opened to probably isn't.
From: Crockett Entered on: January 3, 2007 10:10 PM
BigFatty said: Yes, I am home all day playing on the internet now.  Here, as promised, my first turkey! The Before: Turkey After: The Master Carving - MMMMmmmmm Turkey with bacon..... And here is me with Sandra, Melinda's hot and still single sister working on the other goodies! Remember, Fatty is one Smooth MoFo!  Jesus, it looks like a burn victim from a car crash. As long as it was tasty.
From: The Bone Entered on: December 16, 2007 7:42 PM
The Bone said: So my goals for 2007 are: Physical: get a blue belt in Brazilian Jiu Jitsu, freedive to 100 ft on a single breath, and run the Honolulu marathon. Educational: finish my Joint Professional Military Education course (some bullshit that's required to make Admiral) and learn Italian. Financial: Buy a house, create and adhere to a budget. And finally, I would like to make an effort to be more social - attend charity benefits, participate in after-work events, and other social gatherings. Jesus Christo, I failed miserably at these goals for 07. Trained BJJ for a while then took a break. didn't bother to freedive once, trained for the marathon for about 3 weeks and realized that it wasn't at all fun and I had better shit to do with my time. Didn't crack open the book for my JPME. Success - bought a house and actually stuck to a budget. Could be better with my budget tracker but I still remained inside it on average for the year. Marginal success - I went to two after work events which was two more than previous years.    For 08 I believe I should amend my goals somewhat. I'll have to think on it.
From: Ross Entered on: December 16, 2007 8:40 PM
As I said before, I'm not one for setting goals on a yearly basis (though I'll concede it's an obvious time to take stock) but it's funny how even your sense of goals can change once you have a kid.  Though my biggest goal even before Logan arrived was to save for a big house in the burbs, now that goal may have shifted a bit.  Even so, my goals such as they are tend to revolve around the right way to plan for Logan's future, such as getting his college savings plan going, which I finally was able to do about a week ago after his social security card finally arrived. That said, I haven't forgone trying to improve myself - right now I'd be quite satisfied with returning to a shadow of my former shape.  Once Heather got pregnant, we both started packing on the pounds at comparable rates - only one of us had an excuse, though.  So for the past couple months, we've been on a fairly strict diet, tracking things with my diet tracker webapp, and doing a pretty good job.  I've lost over 10 lbs, averaging about a pound a week, and Heather has been doing the same (which is more impressive considering that's a bigger fraction of her bodyweight).  I figure I have about another 10 to lose before I am satisfied.  But the month of December is making it pretty rough, I'm not going to lie.
From: The Bone Entered on: December 16, 2007 10:27 PM
Well I don't have a better benchmark for progress than a yearly timeframe. I guess I have overarching goal of being healthy and in shape, financially secure, and having a happy family life somewhere in the future but for now a year sounds about right. Now realize this is way different than a New Year's resolution. It's just a "how did I spend the past year and how am I going to make the next one better  for personal accomplishment and improvement?" And within the year it would probably be wise to set quarterly goals for certain thing like losing weight or undertaking an exercise program, etc.  I'm not disheartened about missing the mark on certain things. Marathon for instance. I got into Stand Up Paddle surfing and devoted a ridiculous amount of time to that so the marathon training had to give way to my changing goals. I still have the innate desire for self improvement though and I won't stop looking for ways to get sweeter. If you don't have goals you may blunder haphazardly into sweetness but it's less likely.
From: BigFatty Entered on: December 17, 2007 7:58 AM
Believe it or not, Fatty has used the witten goals technique very successfully.  It was more for big picture, life-direction driven goals.  It all started with my new Franklin Planner (which replaced my old 'Brain')  I went through all the trainings and goal writing BS.  But, I wanted to give the goal writting a shot.  So I wrote down 3 or 4 goals,  To be a life-time learner To get my MBA To travel and work/ live internationally This list was done back in 2002ish??? and as you can see one is on-going, but the other 2 major milestones have been met (even exceeded).  To think about writing those last two goals and accomplishing them is pretty major.  I am were I am today by design, not my happenstance.. I still have those pages, so I will go back and see if there was a fourth.  Honestly, with all the jokes about Will Power, and Dedication, I am very proud of those accomplishments.  I don't know many people who could duplicate 2 such lofty and difficult goals.  But it still is funny that I do have problems sticking to a healthy living program.  It is one of my strong interests!
From: Ross Entered on: December 17, 2007 9:42 AM
That is good, Fats, and congradulantions are due.  However, I think your first goal is too ambigulously phrased: goals need to have a definite completion criteria, otherwise it's an ongoing project, composed of many (possibly never-ending) goals.  Sounds like a nitpick, but it's not:  in my view, it's critical to be able to say "have I met this goal?  How do I know?  What do I have to do to meet it?  How close am I?"
From: BigFatty Entered on: December 17, 2007 12:11 PM
You are absolutely correct, Bertasia.  That first one was not a goal, but a Clarifying statement to one of my core values - Education.  One goal - now obvious, was to return to school and get a MBA.  I thought I had my other goals in my Franklin, but I see now they were done in other venues.... like my Career Mentoring Program at Steelcase came the travel/live/work in foreign countries, plus I had my Become a Big Brother goal there too.  But, I had to laugh... Another one of my 'Values' in the Franklin was Health, with a Clarifying statement 'I lead a healthy lifestyle'.  Well, that one did not get any goals written behind it.... so maybe thats my problem ;) So for correctness, here were my main three planned Goals: Get my MBA Travel/Live/Work in another country Become a Big Brother Now, my real short-term goal is to make a Philly Cheesesteak by the end of the week.  The action plan is underway, but I am waiting for a trip to the butcher to get the all important, last ingredient (planned for Tuesday). This year, I hope to build a robot - Yes Really... Well, only if I move back to GR.  This is a part of my Life-long learning.....  It will be a real simple one, and it will not do anything of substance.  Goal setting is a part of my daily life.  I like the idea of to reach any goal, all you have to do is start off small in the right direction.  You have to get the ball rolling, and that is the hardest part sometimes.  Once it is in motion you just guide it, push it along, and next thing you know... you are there!  Ok, simplistic metaphor.... but I like it!
From: BigFatty Entered on: December 18, 2007 3:58 PM
Goal Reached:  Make and enjoy Philly Cheese Steak this week.   MMMmmmmm goal setting is great!