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NEWS 380 - 28 Comments
From: Swerb Entered on: October 31, 2006 7:56 AM
I liked it, but think "Batman Begins," "Memento" and "Insomnia" were all better efforts by Christopher Nolan. The Official Swerb Review:  http://www.mlive.com/movies/grpress/index.ssf?/base/entertainment-1/1161355895258870.xml&coll=6
From: Swerb Entered on: November 1, 2006 8:42 PM
Speaking of movies, "Borat" is one of the funniest, most offensive things I've seen in a long time...
From: The Bone Entered on: November 19, 2006 6:59 PM
I just saw the sweetest movie ever. Maybe an exaggeration but Casino Royale was fucking sweet. As some of you know, I've been a Bond fan since I was an infant. I guess it's because the character Bond and I have so much in common - we want to save the world and get poon. Ok, maybe we have one thing in common. Anyways, most of the Bond flicks have been cheesy and rely on gadgets, gimmicks, and unbelievable stunts. This one is different. It's updated and cuts out almost all of the typical foolishness of previous films. Daniel Craig gives Sean Connery a solid run for the money and I think I might like him even better as bond. First of all, he's a full acehurl in this movie which I can relate to.  The action scenes are pretty realistic although a couple stretch the limits. There's amost no ridiculous gadgetry. Mads Mikelson is so fucking sweet as Le Chiffre it boggles the mind. The torture scene towards the end is outrageously sweet. Plus Rotten Tomatoes likes it.
From: Swerb Entered on: November 20, 2006 11:14 PM
I'm sorry, but I found Le Chiffre to be yet another cartoonish Bond villain. I mean, he's French, has a bad eye and cries tears of blood? Corny! The ending didn't make much sense, either. But I did like Daniel Craig. And the chick playing Vesper (stupid name) was hot. And I really liked the first action set piece, in the construction zone. Pretty solid empty entertainment, if you ask me, and I'm not a Bond fan at all. And if any of you arsehurls haven't seen Borat, you've gotta fucking see it! Ross? Hello? It should top your list!
From: The Bone Entered on: November 21, 2006 6:16 AM
Are you kidding me, Le Chiffre was sweet. He barely talked. He mostly got by with a look of perpetual digust. Ok, his right eye dripped a little blood twice the whole movie but shit give a nigger a break. If I were an international banker for terrorists I'd be just like him. Luckily, I'm more like Bond - saving the world and getting poon. Ok, maybe just getting poon.
From: Ross Entered on: November 21, 2006 8:12 AM
I am very eager to see the new Bond movie.  And yes Bone, part of it was the outrageously high scores on the Tomatometer.  The trouble is finding a time when Heather can go.  We might go tomorrow night.   I had pretty much written off James Bond after the Brosnan films.  He was far too flippant for being in death-defying situations and I never bought him as an ass kicker at all.  Obviously, Daniel Craig appears to be the opposite of him in that respect.  Plus from what I read he doesn't use gadgets so much in this one which is one thing I preferred about Bourne vs Bond - his reliance on his wits rather than some silly shit Q cooked up for him in the lab.   Anyway, as far as Borat goes, I want to see that too.  Maybe when I'm in GR this week.  Swerb, what's the plans this coming week?  Heather and I are planning to be there Thursday and leave sometime on Saturday.  Don't know who all will be free around then but let me know.
From: BigFatty Entered on: November 21, 2006 9:08 AM
I watched the Borat film last weekend and thought it was great!  There is so much there that is funny, that I think that repeat viewings would bring out missed jokes.  One thing I was cracking up at is in Borat's nude scene....  The length of the black bar covering his penis is hilariously consistant.  There is so much controversy on his movie degrading Kazakhstan that I cannot believe there is not more fuss about the movie degrading America (He is a damn Brit poking fun at us)  People in other counties watching this are going to see his version of Americans (the worst of the worst here).  While Americans know that the people shown are nutjobs - foreigners only get to know what they see.  These people fit the American Sterotype well. We have to wait a week or too before Bond hits here, but I am looking forward to it as well.  It sounds like it is Bond done correctly - at least for adults.
From: The Bone Entered on: November 21, 2006 8:18 PM
I'm ready for christmas, buy me stuff motherfuckers.
From: BigFatty Entered on: November 22, 2006 9:37 AM
Let me guess - the cufflinks are inspired by the James Bond movie?? Nice list, if you come to Europe, the Bill Bryson book is here for your taking.  I read it two years ago and liked it well enough.  Creeko is suggesting we meet in Spain - cuz its warm - and have some adventures.  We can pile into his Cooper Mini and go full Turd.
From: The Bone Entered on: November 22, 2006 7:22 PM
Nah, the cufflinks came to me when I was in San Francisco and one of my buddies was sporting a pair and I thought they added volumes of sweetness to his Service Dress blues. Then I saw a pair of Barker Black dress shoes and noticed that very subtly, they have the brogueing (decorative holes) arranged in such a way as to form a skull. Then I decided I wanted a pair of cufflinks that were a little unusual to add an air of intrigue. It's the subtle things like that that add up and get you mixing business with pleasure. The ace of spades represents the card of death. It's pretty common in the military.
From: Creeko Entered on: November 23, 2006 3:28 PM
Let me get that IWC watch for you. Seeing how you haven't assigned  a high priority to it, if I put it on lay away now, I could probably have it paid for in about 65 years.   Who do you expect to buy you a  $4,000 watch. Besides, don't you alredy have an automatic chrono Omega?   The best cufflinks for a Naval officer are monkey fists, evey body knows that.
From: Ross Entered on: November 23, 2006 5:43 PM
I bet it tells time EXTRA good...
From: The Bone Entered on: November 23, 2006 7:35 PM
Not as well asa 20 dollar seiko but it will improve your odds of getting laid by discerning women.
From: The Bone Entered on: November 23, 2006 7:48 PM
Man, The Fountain looks like it could be pretty interesting.
From: Swerb Entered on: December 6, 2006 2:13 PM
Well, this is something I'm almost loathe to admit, but "Apocalypto" is sweet. Granted, it's loaded with extraneous gore, but it's the best pure action movie I've seen in recent memory. It's definitely better than "Braveheart." "Wacky" Mel Gibson is fixated on violence, but the way I translate it, this movie (with excruciating scenes of human sacrifice in the name of ancient religion, sorta like "Temple of Doom" but WAY bloodier), along with "The Passion of the Christ," just illustrates the disgusting, fucked-up shit people do in the name of religion. Plus, half of "Apocalypto" is just a chase. A really long, extended, inventive and highly entertaining chase through the woods, with all kinds of corny, classic comic-book-y bits. Loved it!
From: Ross Entered on: December 6, 2006 8:46 PM
Realllllllly?  Okay, well, I dunno if I'm willing to pay for it... but... well, maybe if I'm in GR with nothing to do over the holidays.   But better than Braveheart?  That's a bold statement. Really, I mean, that was a great movie.
From: Swerb Entered on: December 7, 2006 8:22 AM
OK, my attachment to "Braveheart"  has become more tenuous because I haven't seen it in a long time, and in the meantime, I've seen waaaay too many movies with Epic Battles in them. So maybe I need to reconsider that statement. But I still think "Apocalypto" is ridiculously entertaining, and Wacky Mel has gotten better as a director - I mean, this movie is really taut, just pure adrenaline. Bert, I think you'll like it, although some of the violence is purely gratuitous. And if you ask me, other critics (I know you've checked Rotten Tomatoes already, right?) have read far too much into this movie, based on Mr. Shitsmearer's antics...
From: Ross Entered on: December 7, 2006 9:21 AM
I didn't bother to check the reviews - I wasn't all that interested in seeing the movie, to be honest.  And even after your glowing praise, I still didn't feel the need just because of what you said:  I figure that since Mel is so (rightly) vilified right now in the eyes of much of the media, I would think their ability to be objective would be highly compromised.
From: Ross Entered on: December 7, 2006 12:48 PM
The New York times has an article similar to what I was just suggesting.
From: Swerb Entered on: December 7, 2006 4:04 PM
Interesting. But as much as I liked the movie, I'd never go so far as to say it's worthy of Oscars. (Which may contradict my earlier feelings about "Braveheart," but was that movie really worthy of Oscars either?) The big philosophical divide, I believe, is when we should separate art from the artist. When I see "Apocalypto," I'm not judging the man, I'm judging his work. That's where a lot of other critics are getting tangled, in my opinion. I mean, read this review - what a bunch of horseshit! It's almost as if reviewers think it's their duty as knights of political correctness to bash anything Mel Gibson does.
From: BigFatty Entered on: December 14, 2006 2:11 PM
We watched the Bond movie this weekend.  I really liked it.  I felt like it was the way a Bond movie SHOULD be made - an adult, action thiller without all the gadgetry.  It could have used some more skin, however - and not of Craig! Bone is modelling his life after Bond.  One part of the movie was strangely familiar to me.  I went deep into the Fatty Photo archives, but I found that part of my life was inspiration for one of the Bond scenes.  The director must have seen me in France and knew what a proper Bond should be.  Here is the scene: and here is the obvious inspiration.  Can't say I blame him. Fatty is the inspiration for the new Bond!  Sorry Bone!
From: Jackzilla Entered on: December 15, 2006 9:46 AM
Fatty has gone full delutional from watching too many Hungarian soap operas. Johnnybells watched the Ballad of Ricky Bobby last night with Ang & I.  Or, at least we tried to watch it.  Ang fell asleep first and left.  Then Bells & I sat through what seemed like a couple hours, only to pause it and see it was only half way through.  I'm a fan of Will Farrell -- and I admit to chuckling a couple times -- but overall this movie is a stinking turd.  Glad I didn't spend money to see it in the theater.  We could all make a funnier movie with a lot less money.
From: Ross Entered on: December 15, 2006 12:38 PM
Now you know why I never resumed after also falling asleep!  I did like the bit about praying to the baby Jesus, though, that cracked me up.
From: Swerb Entered on: December 16, 2006 8:17 AM
Yeah, praying to baby Jesus over a mountain of fast food seemed hilariously blasphemous to me. But you turds need to read my reviews more often, and you'd know not to watch crud like Talladega Nights... of course, we're not sweet enough to archive my old reviews, so I can't refer to my pan of Talladega, but still...
From: Ross Entered on: December 16, 2006 2:25 PM
Can a brotha get an RSS fo that shit? That's the only way I am able to read anything these days...
From: Crockett Entered on: December 17, 2006 5:13 PM
Ross said: Can a brotha get an RSS fo that shit? That's the only way I am able to read anything these days... Interesting enough, if you go to Serb's link ('read my review'), lo and behold, a little orange RSS button that takes you to a page to sign up for RSS feeds - http://www.mlive.com/rss/
From: Swerb Entered on: December 17, 2006 4:59 PM
Thanks for the assist, Crockett!
From: Ross Entered on: December 17, 2006 10:15 PM
Well, still, there's no "Swerb movie review RSS feed" is there?  I already subscribe to Project Mayhem but I don't want to wade through tons of non-Swerb writing to get at the good stuff...