Jackassery - True to the JA code of honor

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True to the JA code of honor

Entered on: August 25, 2006 12:02 PM by Creeko

Yes my friends, last night I shat myself while talking on the phone with my father. I was conversing with my dad, who had called me for the first time in more that 6 years, and I felt the urge to release some pressure. I had noticed some rumblings a short time before this happened but I thought I could pull off a controlled sphincter bypass and relieve myself momentarily until I got off the phone. Unfortunately, I couldn?t and I shat myself. As a result of the sudden tectonic shift though, there was a nasty duke knocking at my door that I had to use all my powers to hold back until my unsuspecting father decided to finish up the conversation which lasted another 10 horrible minutes.

Needless to say, the soiled drawers went straight to the garbage and I hopped in the shower to freshen up my bung-hole.

NEWS 370 - 3 Comments

From: Ross Entered on: August 25, 2006 12:39 PM

Interesting coincidence... today, my friend Jeff of mushroom stamp fame and I were returning from lunch in the elevator, when Jeff pulled one of his favorite ill-considered pranks: farting noisily in a cramped space. He likes to do this because I can't escape his stank. Well, what do you think is the ultimate karmic response? That's right, this time he shit himself. Not only that, someone got onboard right afterward and travelled up three flights while Jeff had to stand stock still and try to disassociate himself from the elephant in the room. It was freaking priceless.

From: Ross Entered on: August 25, 2006 2:49 PM

Actually I just saw this article on Craigslist in the same vein that is quite hilarious...

From: Swerb Entered on: August 25, 2006 8:16 PM

Hahahahahahahah!! Still, the karmic retribution inflicted upon Mr. Hirsch is minute compared to his years of assholery.

As for that Pringles story, the moral I take from it is DON'T EAT SEVERAL CANS OF PRINGLES, ASSHOLE! A handful of chips a day, and it's probably not an issue. Everything in moderation, you know. But still, the fact that something so vile is in foodstuffs is rather off-putting.

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