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Cool Barbershop in GR
Entered on: April 8, 2006 11:13 AM by BigFatty
This week I saw an ad for a cool new barbershop in GR. Jude's Barbershop had a cool looking atmosphere with male oriented movie posters (The Godfather, Marilyn Monroe, etc.) There was a $5 coupon, plus there was a location near my house. What got my attention was the service a haircut included: Shampoo, cut, style, scalp massage, hot-towel facial, straight razor neck shave, neck and shoulder rub, and a beer. A beer??? Well they had me at straight razor neck shave! I had to try this place out.  
So I am figuring this place is quite expensive. I went online to see if they had their prices listed. They did not have a website, but I found a homepage of one of the workers on MySpace. She was quite the nubile! SO the picture was coming complete. Full treatment haircuts by hot nubiles.... I"M IN!!!!!!!!!  
The reality of the place did not live up to my expectatations. My nubile stylist was named Doug. There was another hottie stylist there, but she was taken. Besides that small disapointment, this place was everything it promised. It was very relaxing. The shoulder rub performed by Doug was with a little hand vibrator, so there was no inter-male kneading of flesh. I sipped on the free beer while we chatted and he cut my hair. This was a well thought out plan exucuted well. I give it the thumbs! The good part was the cost was only $17. I thought it would be easily $30-40. With my coupon, it was a cool $12. That's what I'm talking about Willis!

NEWS 342 - 19 Comments
From: Jackzilla Entered on: April 8, 2006 1:30 PM
Fatty - Maybe that was just Doug's "get to know us" price. What works for whores on Deadwood, works for hair stylists.
From: Ross Entered on: April 8, 2006 2:28 PM
Man, I wish I had a place like that. My hairstylist is nice and all but she's no nubile. Where is this place?
From: The Bone Entered on: April 8, 2006 4:09 PM
Post the link to the nubile's MySpace asshole. WTF?
From: Ross Entered on: April 8, 2006 5:30 PM
I love the indignance! Fatty, you CLEARLY have been remiss in your dirty old man duties.
From: BigFatty Entered on: April 9, 2006 1:43 AM
On further review....... well she's ok.... but who am I but a fat old man to judge?? Her friend Anglea is much hotter.  
Take a look here ya bitches!

From: Ross Entered on: April 9, 2006 10:15 AM
MySpace is setting the web back about 10 years - those pages are exactly what people used to make when they learned a little HTML and had a web account at some junior college or something. Now, they don't even have to know any HTML and the pages are more obnoxious because of all the sound and video they can embed into them. They find a new trinket and say "hey! I'll slap that onto the bottom of my page!" and they end up with this frankenstein mishmash of garbage.  
Well, if my dirty old man status isn't reaffirmed, at least my OLD MAN status should be...
From: BigFatty Entered on: May 10, 2006 8:40 PM

There was a return trip to Jude's tonight, and it was everything I dreamed it could be!  Jill was my ultra-hottie barbershop angel that gave me the full treatment.  There is no exageration when I say she was smoking HOT!!  This nibbable nubile got me a beer, shampooed and massaged my scalp, straight razored my neck, cut my hair, AND gave me a shoulder rub.  She did all this while remaining smoking HOT!  On top of this, Jill gave me a coupon for my next visit.  

 Oh, I will be back my friends, oh yes I will.

From: Jackzilla Entered on: May 10, 2006 10:19 PM
A coupon?  Ooooh... Fatty!  I think she really likes you!

From: Ross Entered on: May 11, 2006 7:39 AM
BigFatty said:

There was a return trip to Jude's tonight, and it was everything I dreamed it could be!

Really?  You must not have a very active imagination because there's a lot more interesting shit I could dream of for a "smoking hot nibbable nubile" to do besides cut my hair and touch my shoulders.
From: BigFatty Entered on: May 11, 2006 5:31 PM
Ross is uncovering a sad truth, I am getting to the point where a 21 year-old no longer is a realistic thought in this fat old man's mind. When there is a 14 year age differance, I start to feel a little pathetic thinking naughty thoughts. 21 is not too bad, but when you go much younger, you get into the age group of a lot of my friend's kids. Soon my fantasy world will be filled with thoughts of early-bird specials and waffles. Oh the coupon - she does like me! That is $3 off her affectionate touch and caress. Doug never gave me a coupon on my previous visit! Doug went on and quit me! Hey, where did the text editor go??!!
From: Ross Entered on: May 11, 2006 5:50 PM

Seriously, the text editor disappeared on you?  Are you using a different computer or browser than normal?  I need to know what causes it to fornicate itself.  

Anyway, yeah, you have a point about being an old timer.  21 is usually still young and dumb... but for many young 'uns, give em a few years and they will be onto that "older man" phase.  That's where you cash in with your refined appearance and sauve conversational style.  

Or in your case, appear generally creepy and turn them lesbo.  But hey, you do what you can.

From: The Bone Entered on: May 11, 2006 6:20 PM

Lately I've been luring in a slew of young 20s girls. The day before yesterday a 26 year old gave me her number and today a 22 yr old gave me hers (both unsolicited on my part). Ross is right that a lot of girls go through an "older man phase". The rub is that as the older man, you have to keep yourself fit and trim, well groomed, well dressed, and you can't come off as a cheapskate. SO I guess you have a lot of work ahead of you Fatty.

By the way, I forced Roche, kicking and screaming, to the gym a couple of times while he was here.  Afterwards he was excited about losing weight and getting in shape. We worked out Fri and Mon and he promised me he would keep it up when he got back to GR on Wed. Did he work out? Hell no, he drank beer instead. I hate to say it but he is full on obese and he needs to do something about it. He also claims Fatty has an even bigger belly. Absurd. Fatty you better get your ass in shape - never mind the 21 yr olds, you are going to f'ing die.

I hope I'm not coming off too harsh but I get shit from Roche that my genetics are responsible for my condition. BS, I have fat tendancies probably worse than anyone and I struggle with over eating as well. However, I put in an almost ungodly amount of work day in and day out fighting through fatigue and injuries.

I'm getting off my soapbox now. 

From: BigFatty Entered on: May 11, 2006 10:06 PM
Hold on - I may be fat, ill groomed, and poorly dressed, but I am no longer a cheapskate!  The new Fatty is different from old.  Now, I don't like spending money on things necessarily, but I am spending money on fun!  If I am going out with some friends, I like to pick up the check once in a while.  Shit, when a buddy came to visit from France, I picked up the $300 bill at the restaruant.  I still don't want to pay more than I have too.  The Fatty of today is much more generous than the Fatty of old.  Just don't go looking for a free lunch BEEYOTCH!
From: The Bone Entered on: May 11, 2006 10:43 PM
By the way, I just found out the 22 yr old is actually 20. BOOYA!
From: Ross Entered on: May 12, 2006 9:38 AM

Bone, this all goes back to the horse's ass.  The horse's ass being Roche's continual and assinine misunderstanding of innate ability versus plain old hard work.  Sure, everyone has natural abilities that are superior to others (let's just remember that Roche was a lightning fast runner at one time and undoubtedly can still move unnaturally fast for being so heavy) but it's all about exploiting those abilities to your best advantage.  I can't tell you how sick I get of hearing about how sweet so-and-so is, and how lucky they are, etc, etc. 

You'll never hear me talking that way, except maybe in a moment of weakness if some punk kid who's had everything he ever wanted gets another handout from his parents.  But Roche actually somehow acts like these kinds of things are something to marvel at, rather than be disgusted by.  Even so, I think he doesn't understand the difference between things like that and someone who deserves their good fortune.  Maybe he doesn't care - all he knows is it's "sweet" and he doesn't have it, but refuses to examine the how and the why, merely daydreaming.  Ack!  I'm making myself sick with pure annoyance!  

And it's about time someone called Roche out on the "Fatty's belly is bigger than mine" bullshit.  I could let that shit slide to avoid a shouting match, but no more.  I'm sorry to be so harsh as well but that shit is ridiculous.

Oh, and nice work on the 20-year-old.

From: John Entered on: May 12, 2006 8:25 PM
You know what's really sweet is my natural ability to lay a smackdown on Bert's ass! Do you know who the fuck you're talkin to, It's the Juggernaut BITCH!
From: Jackzilla Entered on: May 13, 2006 12:45 AM
From: Ross Entered on: May 13, 2006 12:51 AM
I wondered what kind of smack talk it would take to trickle thru the grape vine and get Johnnybells back on here!
From: The Bone Entered on: May 13, 2006 10:29 AM
Pure Gold!


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