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NEWS 328 - 24 Comments
From: Jackzilla Entered on: January 11, 2006 3:23 PM
LOL!
From: BigFatty Entered on: January 11, 2006 7:07 PM
Here are my favs!     Chuck Norris is currently suing NBC, claiming Law and Order are trademarked names for his left and right legs.     Chuck Norris once roundhouse kicked someone so hard that his foot broke the speed of light, went back in time, and killed Amelia Earhart while she was flying over the Pacific Ocean.     Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles is based on a true story: Chuck Norris once swallowed a turtle whole, and when he crapped it out, the turtle was six feet tall and had learned karate.     The last one is not so sweet, I just like the fact that he crapped out a six foot turtle that had learned karate.     This page is hilarious. It will definately had to my witty one-liners. Plus I want this dude to be my publistist.
From: Swerb Entered on: January 11, 2006 8:36 PM
Come on, this one is easily the best:     "Crop circles are Chuck Norris' way of telling the world that sometimes corn needs to lie the fuck down."
From: Ross Entered on: January 12, 2006 9:30 AM
Swerb: I agree. That's my favorite one! I laughed half the day yesterday over that one.
From: Ross Entered on: January 12, 2006 9:31 AM
Get this: Chuck's reaction to the page is priceless:     http://www.chucknorris.com/html/events.aspx
From: Jackzilla Entered on: January 12, 2006 9:49 AM
This is taken from his official site bio:     "Chuck was also a renowned teacher in the martial arts. Some of his students were Steve McQueen, Bob Barker, Priscilla Presley and Donnie & Marie Osmond."     WTF!?     Shit! Truth is funnier than fiction!
From: Swerb Entered on: January 12, 2006 11:05 AM
Be sure to buy your "Chuck Norris' Code of Ethics" T-shirt while you're there. And read the "Christian area," of course...
From: BigFatty Entered on: January 12, 2006 9:35 PM
Shit - If Chuck is on the dark side, then we got something to worry about! I heard he craps six foot turtles that know karate and he killed Amelia Earhart. How can we pit fact and reason against a devastating roundhouse kick?? Brothers, time to pray to the flying spagetti monster for answers.
From: Jackzilla Entered on: January 13, 2006 2:19 PM
http://www.ultimateshowdown.org/
From: BigFatty Entered on: January 14, 2006 3:27 PM
They added some new ones on the second page. They are pretty good. Here is a sample:     Chuck Norris has the greatest Poker-Face of all time. He won the 1983 World Series of Poker, despite holding only a Joker, a Get out of Jail Free Monopoloy card, a 2 of clubs, 7 of spades and a green #4 card from the game UNO.
From: Ross Entered on: January 15, 2006 11:42 AM
Apparently the site has hit critical mass:     http://news.yahoo.com/s/eo/20060114/en_celeb_eo/181 54
From: The Bone Entered on: January 27, 2006 11:47 PM
Every time a church bell rings Mr. T pities a fool.     Mr. T once captured bigfoot but released him after he shaved the beast and realized it was Chuck Norris wandering around naked in the woods.     Mr. T coined the phrase "I see dead people", after the waiting staff at Denny's forgot his birthday.     Mr T pities the fool who does'nt pity the fool thus creating a neverending loop of pity and pain.     Mr. T put the laughter in manslaughter.     Mr. T bit off more then he could chew, and ate it anyway.     Mr. T punched Chuck Norris at the exact moment he roundhoused Mr. T in the chest. The result was the 80's
From: Ross Entered on: January 28, 2006 9:47 AM
Where did these come from? Pretty funny.
From: Ross Entered on: February 1, 2006 7:32 PM
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NBSpNPzVsMM
From: Swerb Entered on: February 1, 2006 9:46 PM
Yeah, I saw the SNL sketch, and it has its moments, but it's not as sweet as the Chronic (les) of Narnia.
From: Ross Entered on: February 1, 2006 11:26 PM
Yeah, not even close, really.
From: Ross Entered on: March 17, 2006 6:40 PM
Chuck comes to terms with the facts about him:
From: Ross Entered on: March 19, 2006 10:15 AM
Swerb! Affix rubber underpants now! Futurama returns!     http://slashdot.org/articles/06/03/19/1417253.shtml
From: Swerb Entered on: March 20, 2006 8:24 AM
The kid who started that Chuck Norris thing has to be shitting himself because of all this attention...     As for Futurama: fucking sweeeeeeet!
From: Ross Entered on: October 25, 2006 12:53 PM
Remember what a moron Chuck Norris is?  Here's more proof : skip down to the section about evolution.  What an ignoramus.
From: Swerb Entered on: October 25, 2006 2:01 PM
Chuck Norris is a turd. Period.
From: Ross Entered on: June 15, 2007 3:16 PM
The latest Chuck Norris assholery from Wingnut Daily.  This is his list of fictional campaign promises if he was running for president.  Tattoo an American flag with the words, "In God we trust," on the forehead of every atheist. What an incredible douchebag.
From: Ross Entered on: January 30, 2008 9:13 AM
This is pretty funny: Go to www.google.com Type "find chuck norris" Hit the "I'm Feeling Lucky" button.
From: BigFatty Entered on: January 30, 2008 11:53 AM
Chuck is a douchbag, but he has a flippin sweet legacy. On the Google topic.... I just found Google Base. This mother has some potential. It allows you to do better targeted searches... plus upload your crap with indexing onto Google. Ross, get your noodle out and see if you can use this in any way. Plus it is good to work your noodle out anyhow. I tried the Receipes and Auto searches. Nice!