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NEWS 281 - 11 Comments
From: Jackzilla Entered on: April 25, 2005 8:09 AM
Better pack up your chickens, Creeko. As I understand it, chickens are the form of currency in Bulgaria.
From: BigFatty Entered on: April 25, 2005 8:45 AM
The greeting there is three kisses to the cheeks, then an ass grab. Lipstick is expected to be worn by men, pick out a nice shade.     I forget how they feel about Americans, better stick to being Mexican. It makes you seem sexier, being Latin.
From: Creeko Entered on: April 25, 2005 9:30 AM
Grab to the ass...(jotting that down) Got it!, Chickens... Check! Mexican sombrero... Check!     Thanks for the helpful advice! I'm sure I'll win over all the ladies with a pocket full of chickens!
From: Ross Entered on: April 25, 2005 10:07 AM
Don't forget, Creeko, the LADIES get a grab on the ass, while the MEN get a dick in the ass. You have to respect the local customs or someone might get offended.
From: The Bone Entered on: April 25, 2005 10:42 AM
One more thing. There are tons of girls in Bulgaria who are eager to fuck an American in hopes of a better life. Use this knowledge wisely.
From: Ross Entered on: April 25, 2005 3:50 PM
If I know anything about women, you should be able to use this information provided by Bone to engage in some recreational sex whilst staving off the wrath of your woman by explaining that you're simply providing a better life for these Bulgarians. I don't see how that could possibly go wrong - go for it, and report back. You know, for science.
From: Creeko Entered on: April 26, 2005 4:37 PM
I'm in Bulgaria. So far the ass grabing seems to be going over well.   I'm not here more tha 2 hours and I already got a corn cob! I'm enjoying my dinner at the Hilton, eating my $8 sandwitch with a tasty Bulgarian brew. I see some dudes partaking in a dessert wine so I ask the waitress to serve me a glass. She walks away and the barman comes over with the bottle and as he's pouring I note the vintage on the bottle from 1965! He then informs me that the 50ml sip I'm about to enjoy costs three times more than the entire dinner! How the hell am I going to pass that on my expense account?     I'll try to post some pictures tomorrow.
From: BigFatty Entered on: April 26, 2005 8:58 PM
Rookie mistake - Any person that is partaking wine at a hotel is (a) a person with a huge expense account or (b) stupid. C'mon its Bulgaria, one chicken should get you a personal massage, dinner, laundry, and a happy ending. Shit, Budapest had great sandwiches for $3 and many for much less. The only people that are doing business in Bulgaria are people with CA$H and the hotels know it. It takes a lot of money to develop a new market. You my friend, should be packing your lunch. Your company is too cheap to let a junior live high on the hog whilst travelling.
From: Ross Entered on: April 26, 2005 10:05 PM
I get $80 a day for food in NYC from Bank of America. It pretty much gets me a sandwich too.
From: Jackzilla Entered on: April 26, 2005 10:30 PM
Another tip: Don't be cheap on the chickens. Offering someone 2 1/2 chickens for a massage, for instance, is considered rude. You don't go offering partial birds -- Round up to the nearest chicken. (i.e. Offer 3 chickens or don't make an offer at all.)
From: The Bone Entered on: April 27, 2005 11:37 AM
Personally, I prefer to barter with sea shells. However, when on the Dark Continent, livestock is the way to go.