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Christian Sex Education
Entered on: October 14, 2004 2:35 PM by Ross
Read up, heathens. You might learn something.
I wish I could get my hands on these instructional lessons.

NEWS 228 - 9 Comments
From: Ross Entered on: October 15, 2004 9:28 AM
Alright, I see I'll have to pique your collective interest by posting a selected gem:  
One of these nights before too long you may find some of it (semen) passes off in your sleep . . .  
(worriedly) But Dad, that's wrong, isn't it?  
No, son, it's not wrong . . . No, it's true that to waste the seed deliberately - to do anything knowingly to make it come is a very grave sin. Because God designed that secretion in a man for one purpose. That is to be, well, like one of his raw materials in the creation of a new life . . . Wet dreams are different. Sometimes the supply of semen becomes too great before a man is married and these dreams are sort of a safety valve . . .  
But Dad, why do fellas get these feelings before they get married?  
Don't let those thoughts worry you. When they come - and they will every so often - remember that you can always knock them down with a simple one-two punch: a quick little prayer and then some work. Any work or sport just as long as it is hard. Which reminds me - how about going out back and seeing if you can sneak that curve ball past me . . .
From: The Bone Entered on: October 17, 2004 7:33 PM
From: Jackzilla Entered on: October 17, 2004 11:34 PM
Yeah? Well, all your base are belong to us. So there!
From: Ross Entered on: October 18, 2004 7:55 AM
That was so funny when Bush said that. What a fucking tard. Much like his father, shows how little in touch with society he really is.
From: BigFatty Entered on: October 18, 2004 8:36 AM
I would like to see people from his High School and College years. Friends, students, teachers, etc. My impression is a GW BUSH Biography - Anatomy of a Slacker, would come from it.  
He is so out of touch with most Americans and, in fact, reality in general. Some of the statements he makes are astounding. Ok, I know about spin control, but come on, base it at least in this world.  

From: Ross Entered on: October 22, 2004 3:13 PM
You guys should check out these re-done movie titles, they had me cracking up at work:
From: Ross Entered on: October 27, 2004 4:42 PM
More anti-religious goodness: interviews the author of the book I'm reading right now, called "The End of Faith":
It's a pretty good interview. The best quote:  
"The President of the United States has claimed, on more than one occasion, to be in dialogue with God. Now, if he said that he was talking to God through his hairdryer, this would precipitate a national emergency. I fail to see how the addition of a hairdryer makes the claim more ludicrous or more offensive."
From: The Bone Entered on: October 28, 2004 1:13 AM
Dudes, I'm so very proud of our dignified Commander in Chief. He sets the standard high with regard to class and suaveness.

From: Ross Entered on: October 28, 2004 8:31 AM
What a jackass.

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