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NEWS 196 - 15 Comments
From: The Bone Entered on: May 28, 2004 5:21 PM
Sweet Fatbot! See if you can find the Maltese Falcon. Aside from that, make sure you have an entry visa. They laughed at Creeko when he tried to get in on his passport alone.
From: Jackzilla Entered on: May 29, 2004 2:32 PM
Fatty - You know the BBQ SAUCE will be waitin' here for ya!
From: Creeko Entered on: May 31, 2004 2:41 AM
Bone - you must have me cornfused with some other Creeko. I've never tried to get into Malta. I did try to get into Gibraltar without a Passport thinking that I could get by with my Spanish residency card. They turned me away and made some asinine comment about Americans and thinking we can go wherever we want without a Passport. Bastards. What the fuck, they let the Spaniards in with their Spanish ID?s so why wouldn?t they let me in with my Spanish residency card? Besides, my Passport was expired at the time.
From: The Bone Entered on: May 31, 2004 10:50 AM
That's right, my bad.
From: BigFatty Entered on: June 1, 2004 4:46 AM
But I checked into it anyway - no use assuming.... I've got some Mexicans going with us, and they just got onto the no Visa list. It would suck to get there and they were not allowed in. Being here makes me realize how lucky we Americans are. We pretty much can go anywhere in the world with our passport. Many people I've met have to get special visas to visit countries - even the US. Like my Chinese friends can't just come for a visit.     Freedom is cool.
From: Ross Entered on: June 1, 2004 9:10 AM
That's because all kinds of countries are like "Hosta-- er, Americans! Sure! Come on in!"
From: Ross Entered on: June 14, 2004 2:51 PM
Heather and I are going to Vegas next week - it was supposed to be for a wedding, which got cancelled, so we're stuck there a bit longer than we'd normally want to stay in Vegas (4 nights) - so we thought we should go see the Grand Canyon. Only thing is, we'd have to rent a car, drive 5.5 hours each way. To do it right, you'd have to spend the night, but I already have the hotel booked in Vegas. Then Heather showed me this:     http://www.lasvegas-showsandtours.com/Body.asp?Page =TourDetails&tour=LAS-A0009     So I booked it. It should be pretty sweet - this way we go to go to the bottom via helicopter, and fly there and back and be back to our hotel in plenty of time to booze and gamble.
From: Jackzilla Entered on: June 14, 2004 3:07 PM
Looks and sounds pretty sweet, Ross. And since you don't have to attend any "you don't have to buy anything" sales pitch presentation, it should be enjoyable. Although I hope everything turns out great, I'm sure I speak for all Jackassarians when I say we anxiously await the details of any process fornication or bullshittery that takes place on your Sin City adventure.     The excitement around here? After living in our house for 2-1/2 months we appear to finally be getting a lawn. So my adrenaline is running pretty high as you might imagine.
From: John Entered on: June 14, 2004 5:18 PM
A lawn, finally! Did you get air yet? If you get both at the same time it might be more excitement than you can handle.     Sounds really sweet, Bert. I've always wanted to see the Grand Canyon. Hopefully you can get some sweet pics and post them on Jackassery.
From: BigFatty Entered on: June 15, 2004 8:41 AM
The Bone and I did the Helicopter tour / picninc when we went there. It was pretty cool. Looks like you ordered up the whole show! You will definately love it. The copter ride is sweet as fuck. You fly low over the ground, rise up over a hill, then BAM, the world drops from underneath you. The Grand Canyon. The only regret I had from my trip is not seeing more of the canyon. Your tour looks like it takes care of business!
From: Ross Entered on: June 15, 2004 8:54 AM
Yeah, I'm hoping I get to see it for a while, but I'm kind of worried - the boat part is only 20 mins or so. I know there's a bus tour around the rim though. If I was going to do it right, I'd spend an entire day or two there, but that would involve entirely separate logistical planning from the Vegas trip as well as inevitable process fornications, so this will have to do.
From: BigFatty Entered on: June 20, 2004 4:12 PM
MALTA UPDATE.......     So far so good. Having a good time. Our hotel got upgraded, so we are staying in the dicso, party district. One could consider this place Hell. There are tons of beautiful girls wearing close to nothing everywhere. At the beach, they are topless. At the clubs they are wearing skirts that require a second hairdo. Wow - sounds like heaven - Well no. Most of these scantily-clad girls are in the 16-18 year-old range. Even if I decided to throw away better judgement, there would be no interest in the Fatty. Its like being impotent at an orgy. I just got no part here!
From: The Bone Entered on: June 20, 2004 4:33 PM
"Wow - sounds like heaven - Well no. Most of these scantily-clad girls are in the 16-18 year-old range. Even if I decided to throw away better judgement, there would be no interest in the Fatty."     That's why you should have been working your ass off, staying fit and trim!
From: Creeko Entered on: June 21, 2004 2:46 AM
There?s one simple cure for better judgement I like to call al_key_haul.   You're in Malta dude... Whata they gonna do arrest you for tappin' some tourist fodder? That's what you're supposed to do.
From: Ross Entered on: June 22, 2004 8:33 AM
This will be my last Jackassery entry for the better part of a week - leaving for Vegas and the Grand Canyon in a bit. Probably won't get to check in as neither Heather nor I have a laptop these days.     I'll be sure to relay tales of excitement and adventure. I'm sure something interesting will happen during the trip.